To think that the withdrawal method is a suitable form of contraception?

[RebelFromTheWaistDown]

DH doesn't want to use condoms or have the snip. I do not want to use the pill or get sterilised after 3 DC so this is the best alternative for us. Has anyone else found it a reliable method. Or AIBU?

No, it's not reliable, and if you do choose to do this, you clearly aren't averse to the idea of another child.

YABU

it isn't an alternative. there are loads of withdrawal method babies on here.

Really? If you use this method then you can probably expect a 4th DC at some point.

Look into other forms of contraceptives a bit more.

What do you call a couple who use the withdrawel method ?

Mum and dad !

I know a few people who used this method and now they have children. Totally accidental and unplanned.

YABU.

Coil?

This is the method that teenage boys try to convince their teenage girlfriends to use. And they always really, really promise that they will withdraw...

What about a coil? I personally wouldn't be happy with withdrawal as a long-term solution.

I can't have the coil due to my history of ectopic pregnancy resulting in a salpingectomy. This has reduced my fertility but didn't stop me from conceiving DC3!

If he can do it effectively then it can work but it doesn't have a very high prevention of pregnancy rate. Why not combine condoms and natural family planning? Use a persona monitor or temping or whatever and he only has to use a condom when you are in the fertile window.
Withdrawal just gets in the way of good sex and he will end up having to ejaculate on your stomach instead or all over your nice clean sheets. It's messy and frustrating.

I just don't think it's fair that contraception always has to be my responsibility!

Implant? Depot? Withdrawal method is not effective so not advisable to use unless you are happy to have number 4!

YABU.

You would have to combine it with only having sex at certain times of the months, and having room in your lives for another child.

Consider using Persona - a natural family planning device. It is a combination of a little computer and test sticks, that it uses to idenfity your safe and non safe days.

Buy it online rather than in Boots for a much better price.

contraception doesn't have to be your responsibilty. he can use condoms or have the snip or he can do without sex.

My friend and her DH used this after their third child. They now have a 6 month old 4th child which they really didn't want, so much so they considered termination. Friend is now sterilised.

It did take them 3 years to concieve, but I suspect they were lucky not to get pregnant in that long.

We have been using the withdrawal method for the last 8 years-however dc3 was a surprise. Still using it as I cannot use a hormonal contraceptives or have a coil. Dh refuses to get the snip and it too lazy to use condoms.

However I wouldnt mind having another dc-dh says he doesnt want another but also doesnt want to take responsibility for preventing it

Well I would love to have a fourth but DH is totally against it. He thinks it is hard work and expensive but he won't get the snip so why should I bother!

Rebel, it's not fair that you have to be pregnant when your partner can't, but it's your body, and nobody elses, and if you don't want another child then you need to take responsibility for contraception. If your partner really doesn't want another child, then of course he needs to take responsibility. I wouldn't trust any man to withdraw in the heat of the moment, though.

It is a joint responsibility. If you don't want to go with hormonal methods then that is your choice of course. But they are the most effective methods available so if you are sure that you don't want any more children then you have to bear that in mind. It's annoying that you cant have the coil fitted as that would allow you both to forget about contraception for the next ten years.
My suggestion involves both of you taking responsibility for contraception at the same time.
But if you need full protection against pregnancy then you need to talk about the snip again perhaps? How would you feel if you got pregnant again? How would he feel about having to pull out each time? I personally would not see it as a practical long term solution.

katandkit-he can ejaculate on other places rather than just her stomach

Boooooyhoo I don't want to do without sex - thanks all the same!

I have used it between my three children and never has an accident. I did have an unplanned pregnancy but that wasn't withdrawal that was getting carried away.

Just go for condoms and use them carefully. I'm fed up of hormonal contraception so that's what we've decided to do. My GP said they are very effective when used in a long term relationship (failure rate being worse amongst teenagers who are less likely to use them properly). If he refuses to wear a condom then you don't sleep with him. I expect he'll come round to condoms quite quickly.