To think that the withdrawal method is a suitable form of contraception?

[RebelFromTheWaistDown]

DH doesn't want to use condoms or have the snip. I do not want to use the pill or get sterilised after 3 DC so this is the best alternative for us. Has anyone else found it a reliable method. Or AIBU?

and also...who really knows what on earth goes on between couples.

They might tell you one thing , and have been busy doing another.:)

I know babies who have been born after using: the pill, condoms, and the coil. Withdrawal is less safe than all of these, and reduces satisfaction for the woman, so why would you?
BTW I have a friend who found breast feeding worked perfectly between kids 1 and 2, 2 and 3, 3 and 4; but then had number 5.

But to say that there is no sperm in pre-ejaculation is just so (God, I'm going to sound like a teacher) irresponsible.

If you don't categorically know something when discussing such an important issue (in someone else's life, if not your own; after all this is just MNing to pass the time for you) then it's probably best to just keep quiet.

SlinkingOutside and OhGod

There is no sperm in pre-ejaculate: Scientific survey one: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/entrez?cmd=Retrieve&db=PubMed&list_uids=12286905&dopt=AbstractPlus

Scientific survey two:
www.ingentaconnect.com/content/klu/jarg/2003/00000020/00000004/00461193

The reason for people saying that there can be is that if the couple are on round two, there can be sperm left over in the urethra from the previous ejaculation - but if the man urinates, this kills the sperm.

Now it is a method to be careful of because it easy to lose control and take the penis out too late, but it does have its place and it is a method of contraception which is 96% effective with perfect use and 73% effective with typical use (caused by people getting carried away). More information here: www.vaginapagina.com/index.php?title=Non-Hormonal_Birth_Control#The_Withdrawal_.28Pull-Out.29_Method

MsWeatherwax - those both refer to the same study. The jury is still out actually. www.andrologyjournal.org/cgi/content/full/28/3/374

Withdrawal is not a very good method of contraception

Really Christina? they look like different studies to me but perhaps I'm missing something. The first of them is the one I've read before and mentioned in my comment upthread.

The article you've linked to oddly seems to cite the 2003 Zukerman et al article as evidence against withdrawal, though in fact that's one of the studies cited by MsWeatherwax because it found no semen.

Sorry for the tmi here - When we used the withdrawl method we did so knowing it wasn't 100% but took the chance seeing as we only planned to use it for 2-3 months max (we wanted to avoid a Christmas baby), so what were the odds of it failing? Pretty big obviously as we did it correctly and we ended up with our Christmas baby.

heres the tmi He came on my stomach, nowhere near my nether regions and it was his full load, he started coming after he pulled out and he finished himself manually and no it wasn't round two, we only had sex twice that month as I was bleeding on and off after coming off the pill and did the withdrawl method in the recommended way, not the whoops I pulled out a little too late way or the ooops I aimed for your fanjo way.

Do I believe there can be viable sperm in pre-ejaculate? Hell yes, I know so, it may not happen every time you have sex and it might not happen to all men, but it most definately does happen to some men, some of the time, so to take that risk is just idiocy if you 100% definately don't want any more children.

Weird - when I went to the links they both went to the Zuckermann study and I agree it's odd that the research I linked to cites the Zuckermann study when the conclusions seem to contradict.

I think though that it is not terribly helpful to rely on a couple of small studies that haven't been widely published in defence of such an unreliable method of contraception.

Reading through this thread, I can't help but be reminded of a quote . It doesn't refer to contraception, but to bombing, but bear with me.

... we only have to be lucky once. You will have to be lucky always.

And that's what the withdrawal method is about really, isn't it? Every time you have sex, you have to be "lucky". He has to pull out in time. There has to be no pre-ejaculate sperm hanging around for whatever reason. One slip-up could be all it would take for there to be a DC4.

OP, you've said that your DH is dead against another child. So if he were sensible he would be dead against using withdrawal. You really need to talk through your options on this, because withdrawal really doesn't meet his your needs.

I found it worked (for a year and a half) until one night when we had too much to drink and he forgot to withdraw!!! Only took the once! We were using it because we had decided to have children anyway so was probably just a bit sooner than planned. I wouldn't use it if you definitely don't want more children though!

1. I remember researching contraception in my teens, and reading that the withdrawal method had a 40% failure rate with "typical use". Can you say, with absolute certainty, that you and your husband, will use it 100% perfectly?

2. The only person who's ever admitted using the withdrawal method to me was a fellow teenage girl, who said, "it works well. I've only got pregnant once, and I've been having sex for a year!"

my friend used the withdrawal method for 10 years successfully...when they came to trying for a baby turned out they had fertility problems and needed IVF....

It is only a suitable form of contraception if you genuinely wouldn't mind having another baby...

It's getting off at Haywards Heath round here. And while the withdrawal method clearly can work, it's not one I'd recommend for anyone who isn't prepared to have another child. But in this instance, I'd be most bothered about a partner who was so determined not to have another child but so disinterested in taking any real responsibility to ensure pregnancy didn't occur.

Having penetrative sex (usually and discounting random acts with sponge cakes) involves two people. Ergo, they should share the responsibility for contraception.

Buy this book:

www.amazon.co.uk/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Reproductive/dp/0091887585/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_1

I can't talk. DH and I have used withdrawal, but it has been when we are planning to start trying to conceive in say three months down the line.

www.amazon.co.uk/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Reproductive/dp/0091887585/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_1

YABU, get the book oohlaalaa linked and use natural family planning if you really don't want to use anything else, but be aware that you are still taking a risk

We have been using this method for the last 12 years.
I got delibrately pregnant with DS 1 and 2 and was lucky enough to get pregnant on the first attempt with each.

It is fair to say me and DH have plenty of fun.

Not meaning to hijack - still relevant! This thread spurred me to look up sterlisation on the NHS website and a comment there led me to this side:

www.essure.com/

I've never heard of this before. Are any of you using it? Sounds great, but sure there must be a catch... ?

Sorry, don't know how to make that a link. Hopefully you can cut n paste into browser. It's basically a new kind of permanent non-hormonal non-surgical female contraception. Why have I not heard of this??

It's not reliable and really, would you want to have sex worried about wether their partner was going to whip it out at the last minute or get carried away? No thanks!

I can't imagine really wanting my DH to withdraw anyway. It's nice feeling him come. Or is that just me who thinks that

The withdrawal method is 100% effective providing it is used in conjunction with abstention.

Print out all the facts, make him understand how reliable it is - well, isn't. If that's his choice then make sure he understands that if (or rather when) a baby is conceived - he is NOT to utter one single word of complaint about it.

YABU.

You could try it, but what happens if/when you get pregnant again?