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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that the withdrawal method is a suitable form of contraception?

161 replies

RebelFromTheWaistDown · 17/10/2011 17:34

DH doesn't want to use condoms or have the snip. I do not want to use the pill or get sterilised after 3 DC so this is the best alternative for us. Has anyone else found it a reliable method. Or AIBU?

OP posts:

shineynewthings · 17/10/2011 20:47

You are being extremely unreasonable, anyone who has to pay for contraception in the third world will tell you that.

cece · 17/10/2011 20:48

I got pg twice using this method

KatAndKit · 17/10/2011 20:50

Just because we get it for free and others don't doesn't oblige us to use it. many women do not get on well with hormonal contraception. It is not unreasonable for her to expect her husband to take on some responsibility. He has three options open to him if she decides not to use any of the methods available to her. Those three options (i'm not including abstinence, just pulling out, condoms, or the snip) have varying success rates. He can choose what to do based on how bothered he is about the success rate.

Really it should be a sensible joint decision though.

MJlovesscareypants · 17/10/2011 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

gabid · 17/10/2011 20:53

What about a natural method? Watch your cycle, there are days where you are most likely to conceive, on the other hand there are times where its near impossible to conceive. I had a book when we were trying to get pregnant but it was also for people who were trying to do the opposite.

shineynewthings · 17/10/2011 20:56

That's not what i'm saying KitKat. What i'm trying to infer rather unsuccessfullly, is that the withdrawal method is what many people who cannot afford contraception have to use, and you can see the results of that, can't you?

GossipWitch · 17/10/2011 20:56

Just so you know, ds2 was conceived wearing a condom, I wouldn't trust the withdrawal method at all...

carriedababi · 17/10/2011 20:57

i tihk its upto him to have the snip really.

gabid · 17/10/2011 20:57

Withdrawal method I thought that was something teenage boys come up with to get a girl to sleep with them, which however is pure nonsense.

shineynewthings · 17/10/2011 20:58

Sorry Katandkit was stuffing my face with kitkats earlier sorry for mispell

Feminine · 17/10/2011 20:59

I honestly believe couples think they are using it it properly.

Or tell themselves that

I have 3 children all conceived with one (really just one go)

I have conceived at the my most fertile, just after my period and just before I was about to get it.

We use withdrawal when we want, I am not pregnant, and haven't got pregnant in 17 years of choosing it :)

margerykemp · 17/10/2011 21:02

Does your dp understand how unreliable it is? Will he want you to have an abortion if you get pregnant? In situations like this the man often assumes that this will be the 'birth control'. If this scenario will cause problems in your relationship then dont risk it.

OriginalGhoster · 17/10/2011 21:04

there is a way to use the pill with no side effects...

MrsPeterDoherty · 17/10/2011 21:04

Anal is a better form of contraception....[hsmile]

Bunsouttheoven · 17/10/2011 21:05

I'm in the April 2012 baby thread, does that give you a clue whether it is reliable?

SearchSquad · 17/10/2011 21:05

We have used withdrawal method for the last 9 years and it has worked on all occasions except once, when I did get pregnant. However, I miscarried that one.

Honestly, we use it because we will not be too bothered if we have another baby. If we were absolutely sure that we wouldn't want another DC, we would use something more reliable.

OriginalGhoster · 17/10/2011 21:07

....put it between your knees

(Courtesy of my dad, the pharmacologist)

wannabestressfree · 17/10/2011 21:07

Its the only one endorsed by the catholic church :}

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 17/10/2011 21:08

I wouldn't trust it. Getting off at Fratton is what we call it round here (Hampshire). Wondering how many more local euphemisms for it there are round the country?

shineynewthings · 17/10/2011 21:09

or the armpits.......

Andrewofgg · 17/10/2011 21:09

Try lemonade.

Both of you.

Not before.

Not after.

Instead.

100% reliable.

ByThePowerOfGreyskull · 17/10/2011 21:11

We use a combination of that and natural planning.
There are 10 days a month where things are a no go

our libido's can cope with that

Andrewofgg · 17/10/2011 21:13

One of us is being naive shiney - I think the idea is that the pill (it can be an aspirin) goes between the knees. Which would be effective . . .

WhereYouLeftIt · 17/10/2011 21:13

Withdrawal is only suitable as a contraceptive method if you don't really want to use contraceptive. About half of my mother's generation are alive today because of withdrawal being used (pre-pill) in preference to condoms.

You want another child, so maybe you are OK with it's very high failure rate. If your DH is dead against more children, he'd be a fool to be considering relying on it.

begonyabampot · 17/10/2011 21:15

we've used it for years and as Dh wants no more children then he makes sure he always withdraws and doesn't get 'carried away'. I'm the careless one and sometimes think , fuck it, lets go for it but maybe I'm secretly hankering for another baby.

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