to think asking for honeymoon contributions from people you haven't invited to your wedding...

[hellsbells76]

...is just a tiny bit gauche?

Not close to this couple so didn't expect a wedding invite. We're facebook friends (I was at uni with one partner but haven't seen them in years). Received a fb event invite titled 'Getting married' so thought for 5 seconds I'd have an excuse for a new frock, then realised it was an 'invitation' to all their fb friends to contribute to their honeymoon, whether invited or not.

Worst bit is, some people have obviously not read it properly and left a load of messages saying sorry they can't make it but thanks for thinking of them etc etc. The groom has now posted huffily saying that this isn't a wedding invite as they were sent out months ago, and this was 'clearly stated' on the event. AIBU to be boggling at the brass neck? And now wondering if I can pull a similar stunt to fund my next holiday?

I hope you've replied with something like, 'Just to make sure we're clear on this: you don't want us to celebrate your wedding with you; you just want our money. That's far more than a bit cheeky. It's rude and I'm staggered at your sense of entitlement.'.

Then you can defriend him.

If people like this didn't exist then we wouldn't have anyone to be outraged or have a good giggle at though. Did make me lol!

I am actually speechless. What a fricking cheek.

I really think you should all turn up....

This kind of behaviour only perpetuates when people quietly ignore it or, worse, pander to it. OP, you have to point out how rude it is, then everyone else will follow.

Or, if you want to be dreadfully passive-aggressive start up another group called 'please pay for my holiday' and invite him to it. Say something like:

"Hey Hey,
How are you?
Cheeky me here, being very cheeky indeed!
As you might already know, I have booked some annual leave * on the 15th, and a few people have been asking me where I'm going.
I haven't booked one as I can't really afford to go anywhere swanky enough.
However saying that I thought it might be nice if people contributed a holiday in **, or maybe bought me a nice dress to wear while I'm away.
Actually, now that I think about it, if you would like to contribute towards a DSLR camera for taking lots of amazing pics to upload onto facebook for your eyes to see, please send me a message and I will send you my bank details.
Cheeky I know, but if you don't ask, you don't get!!
Love and hugs, and thank you in advance.

I am so desperate for a link to this page.

OMG just read the actual text (managed to miss it last night). It's unbelievable.

I would have to reply along these lines:

My mother quite often asks me what I'd like for my birthday. When she does I come up with a couple of suggestions and I make them to her. It would never occur to me that her asking gives me some sort of license to broadcast my suggestions to a bunch of people who have expressed no desire to buy me a present. Can I suggest that a similar - targetted - response to requests for a wedding list would have been more appropriate?

DamselInDisarray's suggestion is perfect. Or if you're only friends with the other partner, send it to the one you are friends with who didn't send out the cheeky request, adding to the bottom "While X's friend might find this acceptable, you must realise this is completely unacceptable for most people."

Top idea ! we want to go to the USA next year to celebrate our 21st wedding anniversary. I'll just ask all my online friends to pay for it. genius.

What the actual fucking fuck??

I don't give a toss what people ask for as wedding presents, I'm happy to give a gift, give money or whatever the hell they want. But the key part of the deal is that I'm a fucking guest at the do!

Absolutely fucking amazing. Anyone want to pay for my new iPhone 4s while I'm at it?

OK, emboldened by you lot I have posted this comment on his huffy post:

, it's kind of understandable that a lot of people have misread it. The title of the event is 'Getting married' after all! I must admit that for at first I thought I was being invited too (and was surprised as I don't really know you outside of fb, but quite touched). When it became clear that you were just asking everyone for money, whether they were invited to the wedding or not, I was even more surprised and to be blunt, quite offended. It's a long way beyond 'cheeky' and is actually pretty rude. Ask those attending your wedding for contributions in lieu of gift - fine. Asking everyone on your friends list, and then huffily pointing out that actually they haven't been invited, is really not on.

I'm expecting a defriending any moment but won't be that bothered tbh!

Well done!

Haha well done hellsbells. I wonder how many likes it will get

Wow, I am missing a trick here clearly!

We're getting married in June, only inviting nearest and dearest - think I'll start my own event to get some cash! If we're lucky, my millions of cousins will donate enough to pay for the wedding they will not be coming to as well!

And no, YANBU.

It's never ceases to amaze me the sheer brass neck rudeness of some people. I would leave a cheeky message saying "ok where's my invite then".

well done! keep us posted.

Well done op. Let us know if he replies.

That is actually so bad it's funny.

Please let us know what some of the other responses on the page have been!

Oh niaaaaaaaace one OP! Do let us know the response and also how many 'likes' you get! (evil )

we need a spy. if hellsbells gets defriended she won't be able to give us any updates. [panic emoticon] but I can't come up with a way of getting a random mner onto his friends list

btw everytime I click on this I smile at the reference in your op to "just a tiny bit gauche". understatement of the year