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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to do the food shopping alone even though DH will be annoyed

270 replies

OhdearNigel · 22/08/2011 12:17

My DH never, ever lets me go food shopping on my own. He always insists on coming, I suspect because he wants to fill the trolley up with biscuits and chicken kievs that he knows I won't buy !
We should have gone shopping last week, the cupboards and fridge are looking like mother hubbard's and the cats are having to eat tuna because there is no cat food. However, due to our shifts there is no opportunity for us to go food shopping this week as the only time we are both off is tomorrow evening when I will be putting DD (18m) to bed. He will be at work now until probably next week.
The only way I can get the food shopping done will be to have it delivered or go on my own - both of which will cause a row because of his odd obsession with coming shopping.
WWYD ? I have no milk, no sugar, no butter, no potatoes, no lots of things and really do need to go shopping before next Tuesday

OP posts:
DontGoCurly · 22/08/2011 12:18

Do the shopping and tell him to fuck off if he gives you any crap. Jesus!

Original poster
OhdearNigel · 22/08/2011 12:18

should probably mention that we do 1 big food shop per month and grow our own veg so we don't go food shopping that regularly

OP posts:
AfternoonDelight · 22/08/2011 12:18

Then go shopping!

going · 22/08/2011 12:18

Buy or order what you need and let him pick up any bits he wants on his own.

Meglet · 22/08/2011 12:18

Go on your own FGS!

If he is that desperate for other stuff he can get it. If he wants to spend £££££ and eat crap he get go and buy it.

Meglet · 22/08/2011 12:19

can go and buy it

TheOriginalNutcracker · 22/08/2011 12:19

I find it odd that you are even asking tbh. Just go shopping

rushofbloodtothefeet · 22/08/2011 12:19

Really?

You really need to come on here and ask our opinion on whether you should go shopping?

worraliberty · 22/08/2011 12:19

Tell him to grow up and then go and get the shopping in

Also, buy some biscuits and kievs if that's what he likes to eat

What a strange situation Confused

perfumedlife · 22/08/2011 12:19

He never lets you? You don't need his permission to buy food. God, I always wondered about those men snooping around the trolley in supermarkets, checking what was going in.

I'd order it online. And get shot of him.

Original poster
OhdearNigel · 22/08/2011 12:20

Then I am not alone in thnking that this is truly bizarre and stupid behaviour :)
I wouldn't mind if it was because he thought I would go supermarket crazy, but we end up spending about double on my shopping list because he always bungs loads of crap in the trolley

OP posts:
Original poster
OhdearNigel · 22/08/2011 12:21

DH is stubborn as an old mule and possibly the most argumentative and determined person you could ever wish to meet. Most of the time I just can't be arsed with the inevitable argument.

OP posts:
pozzled · 22/08/2011 12:22

Very bizarre. If you need food, buy it. If he wants different food or extras, he can buy it. If there's an issue with budgeting, or meal planning because you want different things, sit down and discuss it.

Salmotrutta · 22/08/2011 12:22

He never lets you go shopping on your own? Hmm
Where do I start...?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/08/2011 12:22

rushofbloodtothefeet... I don't suppose OP does need us to tell her what to do, more a case of wanting to talk about her husband's odd behaviour. I've seen far more stupid theads/posts here.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 22/08/2011 12:22
Shock

You have no milk and you're questioning whether it's OK to go shopping?? Madness.

RoseC · 22/08/2011 12:22

Go by yourself - I set a budget and go shopping (with or without DP) and if he wants expensive non-essentials then he can - and does - buy them himself.

worraliberty · 22/08/2011 12:22

But if you won't buy the things he likes to eat, you sound as controlling as he does to be honest.

You're both adults and yet it doesn't sound as if you treat each other that way

tryingtoleave · 22/08/2011 12:23

Go shopping and buy the stuff he likes as well as what you want. Why wouldnt you get what he wants.

mamas12 · 22/08/2011 12:23

Hmmm has he locked you inside the house or something so you can't get out?
Or is it an emotional prison.
Really get some help with this problem for yourself I mean.
THIS IS NOT NORMAL
Go shopping or order online and tell him to do one and ignore his protests, starving your family is abuse

MrsCampbellBlack · 22/08/2011 12:24

I'd say when to do the shopping is the least of your problems.

RoseC · 22/08/2011 12:24

If he's picking arguments then ignore him. I know it's really difficult, especially when you think what's being said is unfair, but it's the fastest way to finish it. Just keep repeating silently, 'I am not being unreasonable'.

GalaxyWeaver · 22/08/2011 12:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
OhdearNigel · 22/08/2011 12:24

No I don't buy them. We are on a tight budget and I can make 2 weeks' worth of bread with the money that DH will spend on 4 crappy chicken kievs that he will eat in 1 sitting. It's a question of prioritising the money. I make cakes and biscuits so it's not as if we don't have them.

OP posts:
perfumedlife · 22/08/2011 12:25

There's 'odd' behaviour and there's controlling behaviour. His is controlling. If you put off having the discussion because he argues and is stubborn, that is a real problem. And I hate the over use of the word controlling. It's justfiied here.

Why do you feel you need him to 'let' you go shopping op?

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