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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to do the food shopping alone even though DH will be annoyed

270 replies

OhdearNigel · 22/08/2011 12:17

My DH never, ever lets me go food shopping on my own. He always insists on coming, I suspect because he wants to fill the trolley up with biscuits and chicken kievs that he knows I won't buy !
We should have gone shopping last week, the cupboards and fridge are looking like mother hubbard's and the cats are having to eat tuna because there is no cat food. However, due to our shifts there is no opportunity for us to go food shopping this week as the only time we are both off is tomorrow evening when I will be putting DD (18m) to bed. He will be at work now until probably next week.
The only way I can get the food shopping done will be to have it delivered or go on my own - both of which will cause a row because of his odd obsession with coming shopping.
WWYD ? I have no milk, no sugar, no butter, no potatoes, no lots of things and really do need to go shopping before next Tuesday

OP posts:
VelvetSnow · 22/08/2011 12:47

Seriously OP - your DH eats 4 kievs in one sitting? And demolishes frozen condensed milk while you're cooking dinner?

Either you're starving the man or he is a beast!

usualsuspect · 22/08/2011 12:47

Tell him the 1950s called and they want their attitude back

AnyFucker · 22/08/2011 12:47

I think I hate your greedy husband, OP

Is he morbidly obese ? He should be.

tryingtoleave · 22/08/2011 12:47

What idea? I have posted way too much on this thread...

I get frustrated with how much money dh spends on crap. Bad for him and bad for the budget. But he earns money, he cuts back in other ways, it makes him happy. If he said that I couldn't have the choc I liked but must be satisfied with home made cake (and I am a good baker), I would be out the door.

Bunbaker · 22/08/2011 12:48

Why don't you shop online for the basics and non perishables? You get to see all the special offers and can see how much you are spending as you go along.

summertimeblews · 22/08/2011 12:48

This man is controlling, disrespectful and selfish, and not pulling his weight in living within the budget that the family finances dictate.

wow and the poor sod hasnt even opened his mouth yet Grin

Spuddybean · 22/08/2011 12:48

I would just go shopping and when he kicks off burst out laughing at his ridiculousness. People only make big deals out of things as far as you let them. Don't indulge it.

I do agree with keeping hold of the budget though (within reason). Part of our arrangement is that i buy the food and do the cooking. I spend £200 per month (toiletries too). Yesterday DP followed me round the shop putting scallops and expensive things in the trolley.

I said he would need to pay for them out of his money and would need to cook them himself - he put them back!

EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions · 22/08/2011 12:48

I have lived through periods where the budget physically will not accommodate an extra tenner on shit.

tethersend · 22/08/2011 12:48

Make cat Kiev for dinner.

Hey presto! problem solved.

Chestnutx3 · 22/08/2011 12:49

This is not normal you know it, he knows it do something about it or else stop moaning.

Breevandercamp1750 · 22/08/2011 12:49

You both just sound a little odd IMO.

summertimeblews · 22/08/2011 12:50

You both just sound a little odd IMO.

nods

HowToLookGoodGlaikit · 22/08/2011 12:50

I'd hate to live a life where I couldnt buy milk and bread without permission :(

DogsBestFriend · 22/08/2011 12:50

Oh tethers! Shock

Go and stand in that corner, facing the wall, and don't come back until I say you may!

Abgirl · 22/08/2011 12:50

OP just go shopping and get what you need a some kievs and some biscuits - you could have finished it in the time you've been on here.Hmm

tryingtoleave · 22/08/2011 12:51

If he controls the money, is he not concerned about being over budget? Does he want to cut back in other ways?

nomoreheels · 22/08/2011 12:52

His snacky habits sound pretty odd and a bit binge-like. Do you think he has food issues?

I agree that you can get cheap biscuits - but if he's eating 2 packets in a go then that soon adds up. But above all, all that fat & sugar is no good for anyone.

summertimeblews · 22/08/2011 12:52

if you are a police officer OP, you must have been on overtime big style for the past 2 weeks or so, think of the extra you will have at end of month :)

BuxomWenchOnAPony · 22/08/2011 12:52

It does all sound a bit odd. Of course you must go shopping, you need food so you must buy some. Simple.

Could you not just stretch to one pack of cheap kievs (although these sound vile) to show you have accommodated him a little?

Then perhaps you should sit down over his mountain of kievs and a tin of condensed milk and chat about the real problems in your relationship.

Bunbaker · 22/08/2011 12:53

"I'd hate to live a life where I couldnt buy milk and bread without permission"

Is this the "head of the household" guy?

summertimeblews · 22/08/2011 12:53

but if he's eating 2 packets in a go then that soon adds up. But above all, all that fat & sugar is no good for anyone.

so what, he is an adult, he can have 20 packets if he decides to - his choice

BadTasteFlump · 22/08/2011 12:53

Go and to the fucking shopping woman! And don't ask anybody's permission (including us!)

summertimeblews · 22/08/2011 12:55

as an aside, i love in when i hear couples bickering in the supermarket, so much the better if its a full blown hissy fit Grin

WondersOfTheWorld · 22/08/2011 12:55

Well I would suggest you do the 'normal' shopping and he goes to buy the 'luxuries' he wants to have (As afr as I know he doesn't need you to be there to do that).

The sit down and agree on a budget together because it seems that's the real issue there. You want to reduce spending on food and he wants to have the sancks he likes (but you consider too expensive). £40 more on a £200 budget IS a big difference so have a word about budget as a whole more than whether you can/should go shopping on yur own (because of course you should!)

tethersend · 22/08/2011 12:55

Honestly, DBF. It's like some people don't want to see the solution.