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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

or are they? some perspective needed...neighbour problems. honest responses wanted!!!!

215 replies

festi · 31/07/2011 12:20

My dd aged 5, scratched and dented my neighbours car accidently when opening a car door.

I knocked their door and told them and said let me know how much and ill see if I can pay towards it. At the time I thought only a scratch and didnt notice the dent, so thought would cost about £40 or something. Had I known it was a dent aswell I would have explained I didnt have much income etc.

Anyway his attitude was pretty shitty and he kept asking why she had kicked his car and I had to explain over agin it was a genuine accident with car door and not kicked.

I then hearded back from him a few weeks later with a quote for £175, I said I couldnt afford to pay that in one go and I wanted him to get a couple more quotes and get back to me. He was very agressive and would not listen to what I was saying and was insisting I was saying I wouldnt pay this. To end the converstation I asked him to stop and listen and explained I could not pay £175 in one go, go and get another few quotes and we will need to talk then. I was so upset at his bullyish and aggressive attitde I was reduced to tears, he also still did not recognise this was an accident and reffered to dd kicking his car, I was clear to reiterate she did not kick his car.

This weekend a month after the incident I have had a typed up letter through my door from him with the lowest quote of £75, I can pay this in two instalments from september. I am worried about the tone of his letter, It is very oficial and I wonder if he has had legal advice. I havent refused to pay and so now im worried he will take me to court and I will be footing a larger bill of legal fees.

It would be easier if he would knock my door and talk directly with me, I have written a letter back saying I will pay half of the £75 in september and left it at that.

Im fuming and reluctant to pay anything now. I probably am being unreasonable here, but had I been in this situation and the child had genuinly done this by accident and the parent admitted I would probably not persue them for anything let alone take it this badly. I wish I hadnt even told them now.

So opinions if they are being unrasonable or If I am for expecting some civil conversation and compassion from them?

and aslo what should I do now, wait for a respnse from them or attempt to talk directly with them?

OP posts:

FernandoBanjo · 31/07/2011 12:23

YABVU Pay the man what you owe him!

Tortington · 31/07/2011 12:23

i wold have told him he can't prove we had the conversation and i wasn't going to pay anything.

but you have written him a letter now!

belledechocchipcookie · 31/07/2011 12:24

You shouldn't have parked so close to his car, sorry. Have you contacted your household insurance company? If it's been dented and scratched then it is going to be expensive to repair, there's a lot of work involved and September is over a month away. Speak to your insurance company, you should be covered as it was an accident.

BooyHoo · 31/07/2011 12:24

just go over and say you can pay the £75 in two instalments from september. he cant take you to court for something you are already agreeing to pay and even if he does the court will accept you paying in two installments from september as you are clearly willing to pay this. his attitude is horrible but at the end of the day you are responsible for this damage so get it paid and then it's over and done with.

Tortington · 31/07/2011 12:24

fernando she isn't refusing to pay him and if i am correct, is asking more about the attitude. clearly knocking on his door and offering to pay is saying that she will pay him or can't you read?

FernandoBanjo · 31/07/2011 12:26

His attitude probably comes from your opening line "you'll see if you can pay towards it"!

BooyHoo · 31/07/2011 12:26

oh, just seen that you have told him you will only pay half. why have you dne this?? that is unreasonable on your part TBH. your DD caused teh damage. his attitude isn't nice but his car still needs repaired as a result of your dd so you have tp pay it whether he is behaving like a shit or not.

Original poster

festi · 31/07/2011 12:27

I will pay him, when I can I have said that to him, im just upset about his attitude and wanted opinions on that and what I should do now.

OP posts:

bruffin · 31/07/2011 12:28

Do you have buildings insurance?

DD scratched a car when she had just started riding her bike. The insurance company paid out under the legal liability section £600

penguin73 · 31/07/2011 12:28

YABU, he can legally ask the whole amount whether it is an accident or not, doesn't need to accept payment in installments and could quite easily have insisted on going through insurers which would cost you more in the long run. Why is the onus on him to knock on your door when it his property that has been damaged by your family? TBH saying 'I'll see if I can pay towards the damage we've done to your car' would have hacked me off to start with, there should never have been any question about who would pay.

imnotforty · 31/07/2011 12:29

interesting that the new quote is £100 cheaper!

could you give him 2 post dated cheques therefore showing you are willing to pay, but you can't afford it in one go.

although to be honest if try to find the money just to put an end to it new quote is £100 cheaper!

could you give him 2 post dated cheques therefore showing you are willing to pay, but you can't afford it in one go.

although to be honest if try to find the money just to put an end to it

Original poster

festi · 31/07/2011 12:29

well I left it at saying I will pay half as due to his attidude Im reluctant to pay all. I will pay it all however if he persues it with me

OP posts:

ZacharyQuack · 31/07/2011 12:29

YABU. You've admitted that your daughter did the damage and that you would pay towards the cost of repair. His initial quote was too high and you asked him to get another quote. It sounds like he has done this and he has let you know the cost of repaid, as you asked him to do.

What is the problem? Why do you need compassion from him?

FernandoBanjo · 31/07/2011 12:29

Lol @ Custardo. You would deny the conversation and not pay anything?! You sound charming. And yes, I can read thank you.

ZacharyQuack · 31/07/2011 12:30

repaid = repair

FabbyChic · 31/07/2011 12:30

You are responsible for the full costs £75 is cheap, your daughter caused the damage you should pay it all.

Take parental responsibility and borrow the money if necessary.

He is entitled to take you to court the costs of which will be £25 and will result in a CCJ being entered against your name.

Fuffing saying you do not now want to pay it is disgusting. Why should he have damage to his car caused by your daughter and have to suffer any costs?

Original poster

festi · 31/07/2011 12:31

im in rented property and dont have buildings ins only contents, I assume landlord does but not sure if that will cover it

OP posts:

penguin73 · 31/07/2011 12:32

He can claim through his car insurance who will claim through yours, you will probably lose no claims and certainly see a huge increase in your premiums.

ZacharyQuack · 31/07/2011 12:33

Stop playing stupid games about his attitude and pay him for the damage caused by your daughter.

YABVU

proudfoot · 31/07/2011 12:33

YABVU and arsey.

SiamoFottuti · 31/07/2011 12:33

Your child caused the damage, you owe the money. His attitude is probably due to yours, with you "might pay towards it", which would piss anyone off.
Pay up.

BooyHoo · 31/07/2011 12:33

erm, you will only pay the full amount IF he persues you for it?? what planet do you live on? of course he will persue you for it, why should he have to take out of his own pocket for something that was none of his fault. hsi attitude does not lessen the cot of the repair which you are entirely responsible for. grow up and pay what you owe, regardless of if he persues you or not.

imnotforty · 31/07/2011 12:34

chances are he won't get the car repaired anyway.chances are he won't get the car repaired anyway.

Original poster

festi · 31/07/2011 12:34

It wasnt my car, penguine, I dont drive. It was a friends car. neighbour said claiming on insurance would push his premium up too far.

OP posts:

ZacharyQuack · 31/07/2011 12:34

If he has to persue you for the money you owe him, his attitude is hardly likely to improve, is it?

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