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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think we should all ensure our daughters can drive a car

366 replies

Fiddledee · 17/06/2011 08:33

So many posters saying they can't do x,y,z because they can't drive. Yes its expensive but I think alot more valuable than alot of other stuff we spend on our kids.

I will be marching my daughter to the learner driver school on the first day possible. Even if we couldn't afford it I would encourage her to learn asap after starting work and to save for it.

I just want to reduce the dependency of women on men driving them everywhere. We are not in the 1950s.

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 17/06/2011 08:36

My mother would like this thread... Blush Blush

ilovedora27 · 17/06/2011 08:36

What does it matter if you drive or not? Its easy to get around without anyone driving you about in most places, better for the environment, better for your fitness, unlikely to be overweight, cheaper etc. Why would you want to drive? (I have a licence but never drive)

pigletmania · 17/06/2011 08:39

Yabvvvvvu don't they get a choice. Just because you drive does not mean you can afford to run a car

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 17/06/2011 08:40

I sort of know what you mean - in our family its reversed as I am the driver and have to drive DP around a fair bit though Grin

But tbh I feel we should be concentrating on reducing our society's outrageous and profligate over-dependence on the car.

Neither DP or I could drive until last year when I learnt. I didn't want to learn, I wanted us to stay car-free, but where we live thats just an impossibility.

30 years ago our little village had a train station with links to two major cities and several smaller local towns. Now all we have is one bus a week (!) to the nearest town and three a day to a town 15 miles away. If there was better transport maybe it wouldn't be so essential for everyone to drive or for anyone to rely on their partner for lifts.

sharbie · 17/06/2011 08:41

no let her decide what she wants to do same as your son

Threadworm8 · 17/06/2011 08:43

Is there any evidence at all that young girls are less likely to learn than young boys? I thought that the unequal numbers of men and woman drivers was down to it having been less likely that young women in the past would learn.

Until a recent change in insurance law it was massively more expensive to get boys started with driving than girls.

Tortington · 17/06/2011 08:43

arse

WowOoo · 17/06/2011 08:43

Yes ideally.
Just the fact that i felt safer in a car when i was a teenager was enough for my dad to teach me.
He did not want me hanging around and hitching lifts (which i did until I could afford a car of my own. Really foolish of me looking back but I always had friends with me)
There are also a surprising number of men -young and older - who can't drive.
Wish this country was more bike/bus friendly.

tallulah · 17/06/2011 08:44

My DD has failed her test 3 times and given up. As she lives in the centre of a big city she walks/ cycles/ gets trains and doesn't have any trouble getting around.

DS1 passed his test on the fifth (!) attempt. DS2 and DS3 have no interest in learning to drive.

fluffles · 17/06/2011 08:45

no, my parents ensured that both my brother and i were good public transport users (for e.g. we were allowed to start doing that as young children so we grew up comfortable with buses/trains/tickets/empty platforms etc).

owning a car is an unnecessary expense at most universities unless you live at home and commute.

as it happens, i decided to learn to drive in my last six months at uni to open up my job options... but then moved to london so again didn't own a car... i have never actually owned a car, our current car is registered to DH and driven by him 95% of the time.

Tee2072 · 17/06/2011 08:46

What is this obsession with driving? Aren't we trying to get away from reliance on fossil fuels and petrol?

So get her a bus pass instead.

Neither my husband or I drive. We get along just fine with buses, shanks mares and taxis when necessary.

Bonsoir · 17/06/2011 08:47

Driving is an essential skill - part of the basic toolkit we should impart to all our children. But it is only one of many basic skills.

Knowing how to drive and having a valid licence does not mean you have to own a car, however.

ilovedora27 · 17/06/2011 08:48

How is it an essential skill bonsoir? Plenty of people get through life with no need to drive or no desire to.

Tee2072 · 17/06/2011 08:50

It is not an essential skill. You will not die if you can't drive. That, to me, defines an essential skill.

Cooking is an essential skill, for example.

Original poster
Fiddledee · 17/06/2011 08:50

I lived in London for most of my life, I didn't need a car. But when I went on holiday and working abroad it was very restricting not to drive - it is an essential life skill, I'm not saying you need to own a car you just need to drive one.

Bus pass round here - there is a bus to the nearest town every 2 hours stops at 5pm.

OP posts:
Bonsoir · 17/06/2011 08:50

Many jobs require you to have a driving licence and, to be frank, if you cannot drive, you convey a message of being unsophisticated/unskilled. In today's competitive world, it's best to cover all the basic skills anyone could ask of you.

Bonsoir · 17/06/2011 08:52

I know an awful lot of people who cannot cook. Many fewer who cannot drive.

Personally I think both are essential if you are to be a well-rounded person who can meet their own needs (and those of others).

captainbarnacle · 17/06/2011 08:52

It's certainly not an essential skill.

tigermummy35 · 17/06/2011 08:52

It depends on where you live. I lived in London for 13 years and most definitely did not need a car - buses every couple of minutes, trains and tubes very frequent.

Now I'm back where I was born, I do need to drive to get to some places, so at 33, finally passed my test 2 years ago. I never needed to before.

Tee2072 · 17/06/2011 08:53

Well, I don't apply for those jobs.

And it's not that I have never driven. I had a license when I was in the US. From the time I was 17 until I moved to the UK nearly 8 years ago I owned a car.

But I find it ridiculous to assume that because I don't have a license here and don't drive, nor feel the need to do so, that I am missing something. The only thing I am missing the ability to drive to Tesco and do a big shop. Which is why they delivery, isn't it?

My husband has never had a license, never driven, has no desire to ever do so.

Finallyspring · 17/06/2011 08:53

YABU

Your assumption is that if a woman doesn't drive she is vulnerable and dependent.

I HATE this attitude that women are unsafe or trapped in their homes unless they have a car. This idea in itself contributes to helplessness.It also fuels this idea that you have to consume stuff ( cars, petrol, clothes... ) to be a modern woman.

In this country there is very good public transport and people also have a pair of feet. I don't drive and it does not stop me going ANYWHERE at any time of day or night.

Btw the situation in Saudi Arabia is totally different. I feel very strongly about that. In that country women really do need cars because they are vulnerable when they are out alone and there is very little public transport. Not to mention the fact that it is vile that they are NOT ALLOWED to drive. I am allowed to drive, I can afford a car but I choose not to.

pigletmania · 17/06/2011 08:53

Bonsoir driving is NOT an essential skill, I wish that people will get that out if their heads. Whilst people can go about their daily business, hold down jobs etc without being able to drive, it would be very hard to go through life not being able to read, write and do basic maths. Those are essential skills, NOT driving!

razzlebathbone · 17/06/2011 08:55

It is not an essential skill. What a load of bollocks. I've never driven and never wanted to. I have a great job which I love and manage perfectly well on foot, trains and buses.

Most employers just require you to be there when you need to be. They couldn't give a fuck how you get there.

Bonsoir · 17/06/2011 08:56

If you never want to go anywhere or do anything beyond the reaches of public transport, then you don't need to drive. But what kind of limited life is that? And why wish it upon your children?

pigletmania · 17/06/2011 08:57

That's YOUR assumption Bosoir, I have held down jobs and get on with life without being able to drive. I have failed numerous tests and cannot afford any more with another dc on the way, so at the mo I am non driving.

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