To think we should all ensure our daughters can drive a car

[Fiddledee]

So many posters saying they can't do x,y,z because they can't drive. Yes its expensive but I think alot more valuable than alot of other stuff we spend on our kids.

I will be marching my daughter to the learner driver school on the first day possible. Even if we couldn't afford it I would encourage her to learn asap after starting work and to save for it.

I just want to reduce the dependency of women on men driving them everywhere. We are not in the 1950s.

rivin, you are right. SIL and her family go to their caravan every couple of months and they take enough stuff to fill a house. she is gobsmacked that we manage with just 3 bags, one with duvets in and 2 with clothes for the three of us.

How can she not get 10, 20 miles? My nan is just turned 90 and travels distances like that on public transport almost daily.

Because she lives in a hamlet in the sticks. The bus route that used to go through twice a day has been cut.

Naturally if she lived in a big town or city it wouldn't be a problem.

smashing - at 68 your Aunt may very well be too ill or infirm within a few years to drive anyway. The problem is not that she can't drive. The problem is that either she or her relatives live in places she can't travel to/from by public transport. It is the whole reason why we are so car dependent as a society. Hopefully your Aunt will realise this and move to a better location with better public transport before she gets much older.

Trains?
Camping?

Both horrors together??

Shudder

I think if that was me I would just move as opposed to learn to drive

does her council not provide a subsidised service? there is one which runs around all of the villages and hamlets for the elderly. you ring the number and ask if you can be picked up on, say, monday to go to the hospital and they are there. its a minibus.

smashing - she must move. No old person should be living alone in a hamlet with no transport and no shops nearby. Its just barking mad to do so. Old people eventually and inevitably reach a stage they can't drive because of their failing health. Even if they did learn to drive it is no help.

I really do wish people would think ahead instead of assuming they can just carry on driving when they are unfit to do so.

smashing, its great. ds starts getting excited as soon as we get to the station. and we can all enjoy the journey, because neither of us has to drive there.

Lissielou - absolutely - maybe I'm just speaking up for travel, not the means.

Trains are great. Dd doesnt yell and theres people to watch. And bestnof all the two wheelchair spaces are at opposite ends of the trsin. I go in one with a book, dh takes dd in the other. Bliss

If you read my posts smashing our daughters like our sons should have a choice, its a free world you cannot force them to do something that they do not want to do. How is that empowering them? Instead of focusing on teaching our daughters to drive, mabey teaching them to be confident assertive and self reliant women, that may or may not include learning to drive, as people can be self reliant by not driving.

People would stare at me singing along to Radio 2 very loudly on a train, though Riven

Yes, my aunt should move. My parents still drive in their seventies but live somewhere they wouldn't have to. Plus I can get to them easily as they thought us girls should all learn to drive

Trains. DH went to book a ticket the other week to travel 200 miles. The cost was over £150 . £150 !!!!!!

He drove.

If my dd wanted to drive, I certainly would not discourage it, and would help with lessons like my mum did to me, but equally if she did not than I would not force her to against her will.

My mother tried to force me to learn to drive. It was not a good experience for either of us. I can see the point in learning to drive young when essentially learning to drive was primarily about getting lots of practice, with a few lessons with an instructor at the end and then a couple of attempts at the test and off you go (my test lasted 15 mins!). I can also see that if you live somewhere rural with no public transport it is something you want to be able to do as soon as possible. However if neither of these are true then I think it is much better to learn to drive later, when you actually need to do so and are also much less likely to take stupid risks, like drinking and driving.

We lived car free until we had children, and I didn't drive until we moved to Canada, and I still don't drive to work. It was sometimes a nuisance not to drive, but for ordinary day to day life driving was nice, but not essential. Using public transport just meant allowing more time (but that time was more usable for reading or working) and cycling meant I was much fitter and healthier, plus way cheaper. I took my test just after going to university, because I though it would be useful for job applications, but in practice I have never been asked if I drive (I suspect because everyone assumes that you do) and whilst I have determined which jobs I would apply to on the basis of public transport, so has everyone else I worked with, car driver or not.

Dd would love you smashing. You could entertain her the whole way

Trains are stupidly expensive if you travel reguarly. Madness given congestion is so bad so the govt wants us to use trains. But i go to london maybe once every two monthz. Using the train is cheaper than owning and running a car as i wouldnt use it dayto day. I ha e a bus pass, the city is so congested its faster to walk and theres nowhereto park. Id crtainly never drive into London!

Riveninside is right. Public transport looks more affordable when you don't have the annual costs of running a car or buying petrol. Besides, seasoned travellers often use the apex fares or travel off peak or buy discount rail cards etc. there are lots of ways round the expensive tickets.

Whenever I get a cab, which is a few times a year, I never blush at the cost as its about 0.1% of the annual cost of running a car. I do however, buy good shoes as I regard them as my tyres since I walk so much.

A web site i looked at put annual car running costs wihtout petrol at £4k a year. Thats seems a little high unless youve got monstrous insurance. Depreciation on an old banger is little?

but hope, you organise your time more effectively. for example, where I live there are buses into town 2 every 2 hours, one is 30 minutes after the other. I take ds to school, come home, do housework for an hour then catch the bus at 10.10. food shopping at market then catch the 11.50 bus home. my time isnt wasted and I get everything done, just witrhin the boundaries of public transport. I can accept that driving might make some things easier, why cant drivers accept that its not necessary?

Because I don't think it is limiting, in fact the opposite. Anything I need I get delivered online. My shopping schedule is organised, its the way I live my life, I like planning things. And if shopping does take longer, ok. The only way its a problem would be if ds was ill or hurt and I needed to get there quickly, but there are taxi's for that purpose.

Oh, and the hour between school and bus is my housework hour. There is always something. If there wasn't I'd have a cuppa and minute for a bit.

Sorry, Mumsnet for a bit damn phone

I guess when you don't drive you don't miss what you never had. You are just used to organising your life a different way to a car driver.