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To not want all our weekends eaten up by ds's football playing?

209 replies

emkana · 22/05/2011 20:41

Asking on behalf of my SIL actually. Her ds wants to play football, training twice a week and matches at the weekend. She hates the thought of it, especially considering she has two younger daughters. Is it a sacrifice you have to make?

OP posts:

marialuisa · 22/05/2011 20:44

Does he do any other activities? If dad is on hand to help out I don't see what the big deal is. But DD has a pony so I'm clearly more relaxed than most about dedicating time to a DC's activities.


cantspel · 22/05/2011 20:45

But the season doesn't start till september and then finishes around march/april.

My son still trains twice a week in the summer and the odd tournament or friendly.

So yes being a mum is doing things you dont like but it isn't that bad and our club is very social so now i find most of my social life centres around the club and people we have met through football.


emkana · 22/05/2011 20:46

Do you have other children? Even if dad does it it means the family not spending time together.

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cantspel · 22/05/2011 20:49

I have 2 sons and one of them hates football but he just goes off and plays with the other siblings.


FabbyChic · 22/05/2011 20:52

What about when her daughters get older and they want to go to dance/ballet will she say no then because of the time it takes up? Will she be moaning then because she has a son?

I think your SIL is being selfish. Being a parent is about making sacrifices.


squeakytoy · 22/05/2011 20:54

Your SIL is being selfish. It is good that he has an active hobby.

Why is it a sacrifice to everyone else?, they can (and should) have their own independent interests.


emkana · 22/05/2011 20:56

What about family outings?

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Lilyloo · 22/05/2011 20:56

Most of our weekend mornings are taken up by dc's football and dancing i just accept it part of being parent


Lilyloo · 22/05/2011 20:56

Either go in the afternoon or miss the odd game , training session. Season is over for best part of the summer.


emkana · 22/05/2011 20:57

The dd's are five and nearly three, bit young for independent interests.

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AnnoyingOrange · 22/05/2011 20:57

most parents I know take their children to activities at the weekend.


marialuisa · 22/05/2011 20:58

Sorry, we both work f/t so have never really got the whole "family time" thing-sounds like hell. We do enjoy spending time together though and that sometimes means supporting each other's interests,even if those interests woul not be our first choice of ways to spend time.

Presumably your SIL's kids are young for this not to have come up before? What will happen when the party circuit starts or the girls want to go to dance classes? The way you spend time together changes as kids get older.


cantspel · 22/05/2011 21:01

I have been involved with youth football for years and it never ceases to amaze me the number of parents who cannot be bothered to turn up to their children's games.
We have spent today at a youth tournament. Around a 1000 children out in the fresh air playing football. It was cold and windy but i still would rather be there than not support my child.


emkana · 22/05/2011 21:02

But football matches is not really time together is it...

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magicmummy1 · 22/05/2011 21:02

My Saturdays tend to revolve around dd's activities, and some Sundays too - just the way it is really. We try not to have anything regular on a Sunday, though, so that we can still have days out etc.


GoodDaysBadDays · 22/05/2011 21:03

I have 4dcs. One plays football, sometimes the others come and watch (picnic and large bag of toys essential!) Sometimes we find a park nearby, sometimes I drop him off and don't watch, and occasionally dh is not working so he takes him.

Yes it takes up a large chuck of many weekends but not every weekend but he enjoys it and its good exercise.

Days out happen in the afternoons or when there's no football.

My ds also comes with us for activities for other dcs. It's part of being a family!


emkana · 22/05/2011 21:03

So a family of five, one members interest/pastime trumps the other four?

Btw nephew could still play football in a different group, but without the matches.

OP posts:

cantspel · 22/05/2011 21:04

How old is the boy who wants to play football?


emkana · 22/05/2011 21:04

Not quite seven

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squeakytoy · 22/05/2011 21:05

Do families have "outings" every week?

The football season is over during the summer, when most people go on outings anyway.


ssd · 22/05/2011 21:05

couldn't agree more cantspel

a weekend taking the kids to their things is normal here, its good to encourage kids in sport/crafts/whatevers their thing

family time is what happens the rest of the week/weekend

emkana, I think your SIL or you needs to shake them selves up a big, get a pair of wellies and a warm jacket and get out their and support your son!


cantspel · 22/05/2011 21:07

playing under 7's the games will be 20 minutes long so hardly going to take up the whole of a sunday and he probably wont be picked to play every game anyway.


Lilyloo · 22/05/2011 21:07

If they are saying no to any activities that aren't collectively what 'everyone' wants to do i can see them spending lot's of time sat at home.
It will only be a matter of time until 5 year old wants to take up an activity anyway.
Playing matches is really the main part of playing football and is why they learn the skills imo
However if mum and dad aren't commited to taking him no point half heartedly going into it


ssd · 22/05/2011 21:08

the matches are what all the trainings for Shock

so youd your SIL would rather he just stayed at home and hung around with his mum instead of doing something he'd probably really enjoy


I take it the girls will be discouraged from doing anything enjoyable as well? Hmm


fluffles · 22/05/2011 21:09

matches will only be a half day per weekend - leaving a day and a half 'faily time' that's plenty of time imo. it's good for parents to have some one-on-one time with each child rather than always being all five together.

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