To not want all our weekends eaten up by ds's football playing?

[emkana]

Asking on behalf of my SIL actually. Her ds wants to play football, training twice a week and matches at the weekend. She hates the thought of it, especially considering she has two younger daughters. Is it a sacrifice you have to make?

[Bonsoir]

I forked out for gymnastics and ballet at the beginning of the school year - both required a lot of logistics on my behalf and I was shattered. And DD would walk straight out of both activities not remotely tired and ask whether we could go swimming or to the park instead.

So now I just make her walk everywhere and we go to the park a lot, where there is a climbing frame and scooter park that actually manage to tire her out - for free.

[Scholes34]

Can't afford books - spent too much on football and ballet lessons.

[Bonsoir]

emkana - your SIL will thank herself when her DS is a sport-mad teen with plenty to keep him occupied if she invests the time now ensuring he learns football (and other sports). Male teens with nothing to keep them busy are a real pain!

[Hullygully]

she could have walked about with books on her head while you watched telly.

[Scholes34]

I always wondered what the point of all the ballet was my DD is doing, as she's not going to make it as a ballerina, but then I saw her on a rowing machine and realised all that money I've spent has resulted in her having such beautiful posture! :)

[DollyTwat]

[HattiFattner]

2rebecca - agree - I also think it depends of whether SIL works or not - my kids get mums taxi to all their activities because I am a SAHM. I have my downtime during the day when they are at school. I would stress.... If I worked, I would not want to or be able to do all this.

We spend at least 18 hours a week on activities.....

dc2 - 11: swimming 8-10 hours (county standard) rugby 2 hours.
dc3 - 8: swimming 1.5 hours
dc1 - 14: Is shopping considered "sport"?

Scouty stuff: 2 hours each.

Plus tournaments/meets, which can be an all day affair, once a month or so, or can just be a couple of hours. Swimming is an early development sport if you do it competatively. Its like gyymnastics.

My younger kids are very sporty, middle one especially also plays footie, water polo, hockey at school. If they are not playing sport, they are on the trampoline or go karts or bikes in the summer.

[2rebecca]

We are all quite sporty and I think before your child plays in a team you have to consider if the whole family is happy to arrange their weekends around it.
I tend to avoid non essential regular weekend fixtures eg I wouldn't book a weekend class in something like gymnastics that was available during the week.
If you are going to play sport to any level though you have to prioritise it. If one of my kids is particularly good at a sport and chosen to play that sport for their school then their sporting fixtures will be prioritised, althopugh my husband and I sometimes organise sporting activities and that would always take priority over someone just participating in a sport, but is less frequent.
It should be possible to find a balance.
I think your SIL is right to think about this before jumping into it and then end up resenting the committment.

[bidibidi]

HattiFAttner: how old is your DS, how many hours/week do the rugby/swimming/scouts/any other reg. activity each take up?

TheBride: ime (went to school that gave ballet lessons) & imho, ballet isn't that healthy an environment. Promotes a lot of distorted body images. I was quite glad when DD gave up dance.

Why is it so wrong that some of us just want to mostly potter about at home on weekends? I think DC need it as much as I do.

[PlanetEarth]

I would certainly consider 5.30 am swimming starts a sacrifice! (As well as the time taken up in the mornings, I'd have to sacrifice a couple of hours of my evening to get enough sleep.)

[schroeder]

Bloody hell Hattie! Smug much?

[HattiFattner]

i have 3 dcs. DC2 is a swimmer, and spends 3 mornings (5:30am starts) and two afternoons at the pool. We have only recently got to the point of drop and go. He also plays rugby -season from september until May.

DC3 swims twice a week.

DC1 is a teenager and constantly cadging lifts here and there and off with mates.

All 3 also do Scouts.

DH is rarely home before 7:30pm.

So we make the most of the time we have. Saturday lunchtime and SUnday lunchtime are family meals, we sit for an hour and chat and catch up. When there are no swim meets, or tournaments, we go to the movies or out to dinner. Weekends where there are no committments and good weather, we we go camping.

You have to make time for family get togethers, but its no sacrifice to take a child to an activity that they love, and to watch their pride when they compete (and win).

How sad though to have a child where the highlight of their weekend was a trip to macdonalds, or playing yet another computer game?

[Hullygully]

[Hullygully]

proper interests are x box and lying in bed moaning. Fact.

[exoticfruits]

I think that you are all talking about quite young DCs-not so easy when they start secondary school and have proper interests.

[DollyTwat]

I always listen to Hully's advice for she is wise!
I'll admit that sat morning is the ONLY morning we don't have to be anywhere, I can lie in until 8.30
We did karate for a bit, thankfully they gave up after a year, but having to do the 'socks, shoes, teeth' routine every day fills me with horror.

[exoticfruits]

I'm afraid mine are still going strong, Hullygully-I think they will be when they are my age. However, ferrying them around is a very short stage.I don't know why I am saying 'afraid' I am very pleased that I helped them get started!

[Hullygully]

all children's activities are hideous and they give them all up in the end so stay in bed I say.

[TheBride]

Bit at the enormous number of posters assuming that boy=football and girl=ballet. Do the children themselves really slot themselves into such obvious gender sereotypes? Or are they influenced by their parents/parents of their friends who do still think like that? Surely its our job as parents to look at our children's individual personalities and together find some interests they might enjoy, rather than blindly joining the obvious clubs.

All kids where I live play football - there's this thing called Soccatots that they're all mad for. It's unisex till 6, then there's girls and boys, and mini rugby is unisex until 8, and that's pretty much 50/50 too. Tbh, I probably wouldn't suggest ballet to my (theoretical) DD as I didn't particularly like it, and I'd prefer my kids to get into ball sports (ballet has a really low conversion rate kids-adults) , but I guess that's me projecting as well, isnt it?

[schroeder]

FFS Dolly Don't feel guilty we are all different, you have to do what suits you.

I have friends who do all this ferrying their kids about, evenings and weekends and they work full time. If I did that I would collapse.

They're not wrong and nor am I. We all have to be honest with ourselves about what we can cope with, there's no shame in it.

[HugoFirst]

Dolly! Dovt be so lazy !

[DollyTwat]

I have 2 dc as well
Ok I'll think about it and find out some details
If it starts any earlier than 10 it's a no though

[exoticfruits]

You can lift share!

[MollieO]

You'll need to check. We can't drop and collect at rugby.

[bigTillyMint]

Dolly you can just drop them at footy and pick up at the end