To not want all our weekends eaten up by ds's football playing?

[emkana]

Asking on behalf of my SIL actually. Her ds wants to play football, training twice a week and matches at the weekend. She hates the thought of it, especially considering she has two younger daughters. Is it a sacrifice you have to make?

i have often wondered about adults who have no interests at all, who just work and go home and watch tv and then spend their weekends mooching about or doing housework or shopping.. i wondered how they ended up like that...

now after reading this thread i know, and it makes me

When you are lying awake waiting for your 17yr old to come in, when he is having a lift from his friend who has just passed his test, you will think 'oh for the days when I just had to do football training once a week and a match on Sundays'!!!
Parenting is never easy-never has been.

'When people say 'I want a baby' they should realise that that stage goes in a flash-what they should really be saying is 'do I want DC and teenager with a life of their own ,which will mean that I can't do what I like, when I like'

Wise words.

We have a caravan on the coast that we go to most weekends throughout the spring/summer.

I should make the most of this and enjoy the stage-there will come a time shortly when they won't want to do it!

I thank the Lord that my DS (in particular) has never been into team sports that would have necessitated me standing on the touchline in the cold. Before you flame me, however, I've just done a mental calculation of all the activities that I have ferried both DCs around to over the years: beavers, cubs, brownies, swimming lessons, drama, ballet, fencing, table tennis, tennis, choir, badminton, karate ......... plus supervising music practice in flute and piano. Plus all the social 'playdates' and parties and so on. Most of the above, however, take place during the week, with the exception of drama, so on the whole our weekends can be a little more relaxed. So I entirely refute the suggestion I might be selfish for being a little glad about that.

Your not selfish for being glad x

The OPs SIL is selfish for not considering it. I am glad my daughters are not into dancing and all that comes with it, but I would have done it if I had to. That's the difference.

In the rain and mud I used to think 'oh for a girl and ballet'!! Unfortunately you have to go with what you get.

Football is nothing compared to the impact squad swimming has on family life!

I am really looking forward to DS getting into his "own stuff". Am I just delusional?

True, Jins. Neither or my two are good enough into that, but I have friends who are involved and WHY ON EARTH are the galas on Saturday nights, fgs????

Football is nothing compared to the impact squad swimming has on family life!

That's true. I play tennis with a woman whose girls are competitive swimmers. They are always going overseas to comps and stuff.

Thebride, I am the same although I have fingers crossed he wants rugby rather than football so at least I understand what is going on!

how long does it last for?
my dad said " its ten years of you life, then you never do it again, your kids are gone and youll miss them"

you try cricket

It's a nightmare. When both of mine were squad swimming I was at the pool for 9 training sessions a week - 3 of them started at 5.45 am. Every weekend was taken up with galas, competitions or training sessions in a bigger pool

You do it because they clearly have potential but it's hell on earth

Last weekend, DS2 played in a Korfball match, DS1 came along to watch. This weekend, DS2 watches DS1's team play an important football match (DS1 out due to injury, but our whole family is there to support the team). We all discuss after both events how well the DSs played and give encouragement. It's good for their self-esteem and adds to their enjoyment knowing they're being supported by their parents and siblings. We've got to know some nice people outside our circle of friends, and the DSs have got to know other children not at their current schools. DS1 is now at his secondary school with some of the boys he's met through football. DS2 knows lots of the siblings. Car-sharing, cake baking etc is all a part of this. Even DD comes along now again to watch both her brothers play football (she's old enough to stay at home if she prefers). As children get older, life just takes a different direction to the one you had planned. Just go with the flow and enjoy it.

. . . and really, four sessions of football a week for a 7 year old is way over the top. Absolutely not necessary. We've never done that any my two DSs are doing very well with their club football at the ages of 10 and 12.

Gawd all that jumping to conclusions...

My dd1 plays the violin, including two orchetras, does dancing an brownies.

Dd2 does flute, one orchestra, brownies and dancing.

It's all mostly during the week though, while I obviously dont mind the odd weekend activity related to it - there might be a concert, or a dance exam, or a brownie outing. All good, just not every ingle weekend!!

My nephew learn the guitar and currently does football training once a week with. Tournament very six weeks. His sister does ballet in the week. All good - my SIL just doesn't want very weekend taken up, especially as the season is September to end of June! You lot make it sound as if she locks them in a shed. And as for being selfish - it's not about wanting time to herself, but about time as a family!!

What makes you think I won't give my teenagers lifts just because I wouldn't want to stand on a football field every weekend?? I know full well that they will become more and more independent as they grow, but it's exactly those precious ten years that I want us to spend together!

And if there are people who are just not into having hobbies, but would rather spend their time at home reading, gardenig, whatever - so what? Why is your way of living life the only valid one?

Thebride, I am the same although I have fingers crossed he wants rugby rather than football so at least I understand what is going on!

ha ha- me too, although DH is very pro-football, as he's calculated that it's the least amount of financial investment for the biggest payout if they end up professional .

Tbh though, my view is slightly clouded by the fact that I live overseas and we are low on stately homes etc. to visit, so weekends can drag a bit. I actually like having stuff scheduled in.

you dont want to sit at home holding hands for ten years do you?

Mealtimes make good family time, when we catch up on what everyone's been up to. Now with DCs at secondary school, weekend activities take the pressure off trying to do homework with evening commitments taking place.

I think your SIL is NBU.

emkana - but what exactly does your SIL want to do with the 'family time' - surely they can't be going to museums/castles etc every weekend.

Please let us know if there is a Dad on the scene that can help out?

I don't think my way of life is the 'only valid one' but I do think that socialisation is a very, very important part of life and there are plenty of threads on Mumnset about people finding it hard to make friends, join in social situations and just have basic social skills - and that means getting out and about.

Bit at the enormous number of posters assuming that boy=football and girl=ballet. Do the children themselves really slot themselves into such obvious gender sereotypes? Or are they influenced by their parents/parents of their friends who do still think like that? Surely its our job as parents to look at our children's individual personalities and together find some interests they might enjoy, rather than blindly joining the obvious clubs.

That is the wonderful thing about when they are older Cattleprod-they choose their own -not what mummy thinks is a good thing. I have 2 DSs who chose football and one who didn't. I took DS1 to ballet as a DC. He preferred football when he was 6 yrs-I went with it.
Parents should be grateful they want to be involved -and support.
What do people want to do in all this family time? Will your teenagers want to do it? I don't think they will be up for every weekend in a caravan at the seaside-not unless they have friends down there and are heavily into sailing etc..