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Original poster

To not want all our weekends eaten up by ds's football playing?

215 replies

emkana · 22/05/2011 20:41

Asking on behalf of my SIL actually. Her ds wants to play football, training twice a week and matches at the weekend. She hates the thought of it, especially considering she has two younger daughters. Is it a sacrifice you have to make?

OP posts:
kylesmybaby · 22/05/2011 21:09

ds9 lives and breathes football - we have also spent the afternoon at a tournament. training on saturday 9.30 - 11am. i must say though once you SIL goes regularly you will find parents start to help each other out - one drops off and the other picks up. he also trains wednesday 5 - 7pm and has a match friday 5 - 6pm with an hours training beforehand. oh and on a sunday 3 - 5pm.

i do it because i love him and i know how much he enjoys it. but yes it does feel like its taken over my life. i dont have a DH to share it with either.

cantsel - were you at Imber court?

FabbyChic · 22/05/2011 21:09

Football is all part of the growing up process, just the same as when the little girls get older they will want to go to ballet and evenings and weekends will be filled with dance classes.

Families dont need outings every single weekend, you plan your weekends around the childrens activities thats part of life when you have children.

GoodDaysBadDays · 22/05/2011 21:11

It might not be 'time together' to your sil but I bet her ds would see it as family time, with his mum enjoying his hobby with him.

She sounds very selfish.

cantspel · 22/05/2011 21:11

no at Water Hall

DollyTwat · 22/05/2011 21:14

I have sympathy with you sil
Ds1 wants to play, it would mean every sat morning 9.00 and tournaments on a Sunday. I'm a single parent and we already have swimming lessons at 10 on a Sunday.

Both boys do beavers/cubs on different nights.

I so don't want to commit to every day of the week having to be up, getting them ready like a school day. But feel really guilty that ds1 wants to play footie.

Still haven't decided!

MollieO · 22/05/2011 21:16

Not sure I understand why 'family time' (whatever that is) should trump dcs developing interests out of the home. I'd much rather Ds was active than stuck at home playing computer games (which family time seems to mean to some).

Today someone had to explain what a Wii was. He knows what it is but we don't have one and it wasn't the first thought when someone said 'shall we go and play on the Wii' at the rugby club today.

Buda · 22/05/2011 21:18

Well unfortunately it's part of being a parent.

Children have interests and hobbies. Being a parent means supporting them in their dreams. The other children will develop interests to and they may clash with lots of stuff. But that's what you do.
Lots of my friends spend their Saturdays and sometimes Sundays too ferrying various children to various activities.

Original poster
emkana · 22/05/2011 21:19

Family time - going to castles/stately homes/activity days/museums/cafe's

OP posts:
GoodDaysBadDays · 22/05/2011 21:21

One interest trumping the others?!

But you'd let one sacrifice his hobby so it didn't est into so-called family time?

We all take an interest in each other's interests, your attitude sounds a bit odd tbh.

I enjoy supporting all my dcs in everything they do, that's what I see my role as their mum is for. I have a very busy diary and do a lot of running about but wouldn't change it for anything!

How can this be a bad thing? Doing something they enjoy with friends and supported by their family and in turn supporting their siblings in their activities.

FabbyChic · 22/05/2011 21:21

You really think that children want to spend their weekend at castles and stately homes? I used to hate it when I was a child.

Your SIL is really selfish.

KittySpencer · 22/05/2011 21:21

both my DSs started training on sat mornings from the age of 4, and have been playing for teams since 5. It's only awkward when they are playing in 2 different places at the same time. As has been said, matches at that age are 20 mins, so it's only an hour out of your day, we used to try and have matches on a sun morning so everyone got their sun afternoons free.

it can be as time consuming as you want to make it tbh. I am involved with the club, help out at events etc but lots of parents don't. I used to go to all the boys matches when they were smaller, but even then a lot of the time only the 'dads' would turn up as mums were not that interested, or at home with younger children. I always used to take DS2 to watch DS1 play though even from when he was very small.

schroeder · 22/05/2011 21:22

I'm surprised she wants to spend 48 hours solid all together every weekend Confused.

We like to do a mixture of things; including both dh and I having some time by ourselves and some 1 on 1 with the dc.

GoodDaysBadDays · 22/05/2011 21:25

Ha!

Stately home or football?

Let me ask my dc's.....

Fwiw, we do have lots if days out at those places too, just not during football time. (or any other time that dcs have activities on) it can be done. Quite easily if you can be bothered.

They are 14, 14, 3 and 1 BTW. And the little ones do have interests of their own despite your suggestion they are too young.

KittySpencer · 22/05/2011 21:25

The OP's sister may have a shock when her DD's are a bit older - most of the girls DS2 is friends with all go to dancing/gym classes and the time (and financial) commitment there seems much greater; they have competitions most weekends, which can last a full day if they get through to the final stages, plus costumes/leotards are hugely expensive.

Football in comparison doesn't seem at all bad :)

footballsgalore · 22/05/2011 21:26

Little kids football matches last less than an hour. They don't do 90 minutes till much later.
It doesn't have to take over the weekend. We end up taking a change of clothes for the muddy one and exploring an attraction/the shops in whichever town the match is in. It adds a new dimension!
Little sibling used to hate it but now loves playing with the other little ones. They are quite a club!

She should be more concerned about the COLD!!!!! - That's another issue ;-)

Original poster
emkana · 22/05/2011 21:27

Maybe my views are skewed by mynown children - my dd's are very keen to keep their weekends free from regular activities, and they enjoy family outings.

OP posts:
meditrina · 22/05/2011 21:29

If he's in a club that is starting to play in leagues, then yes it will take over more of the weekend than you can imagine. They might only play a short time each way, but you have to ferry to obscure away venues ahead of kick off and then hang around for the duration. They'll want a squad bigger than the number of players (will substitute so everyone gets a bit of a game), so it'll be every fixture. The club will expect participation, even though you can decline fixtures, and DS will want to be doing it. It's a pain, and I was so glad when mine gave up! Even footie mad dads find it demanding.

That said, I got DH to do most of it, and we did find ways to do it as that's what the boys wanted. It is a sacrifice you have to make if you want to support your child in club football though.

cantspel · 22/05/2011 21:31

ah there is nothing like driving 40 miles across the county to stand by a wet and muddy football pitch on a freezing cold december morning.

OddBoots · 22/05/2011 21:31

It's not automatically part of being a parent, it's a way some people choose to parent, it suits some families and doesn't suit others. All children need to be active but only some suit and enjoy sport.

Neither of my children want to play sport although they are both involved in scouting so spend occasional weekends camping/hiking/canoeing but most of their activities are in the week giving us weekend time together to go walking, swimming, going to church, visiting family, playing in the park, having friends over.

duckdodgers · 22/05/2011 21:32

Is it just because shes selfish generally and cant be bothered taking her DS to an activity he would enjoy or is it because its football and she would ahve to watch something shes just not interested in despite her Ds being there? And would it be different if she was taking her DDs to dancing and getting involved in all that entails if shes more interested in that?

compo · 22/05/2011 21:34

I can see where you're coming from
for example my dh would rather take our two dcs swimming with him on a Sunday morning than take ds to a cootie game and have dd just watch
I work weekends so can't help out, I take it all the posters ferrying around all weekend have lovely 9-5 jobs in the week

SpringHeeledJack · 22/05/2011 21:36

I'm with your SIL on this one

ds did it for years- match on sun, training two nights after school and an optional (!) saturday morning

at the time, the dds were small, and it took up a lot of everyone's free time. The matches were awful- all in far flung corners of London, freezing our tits off and listening to pushy dads swear and shout at their sons. Dreadful.

I didn't tell ds so, but was very relieved when he quit Grin

compo · 22/05/2011 21:36

Lol at cootie sorry footie

I remember in reception i didn't take ds to every party as there was one on every Saturday and Sunday practically
people thought it odd but with dh working poor dd would have had to sit and watch
I preferred taking them both to the park tbh

Original poster
emkana · 22/05/2011 21:36

I would dispute that it's selfishness, just different priorities.

OP posts:
SpringHeeledJack · 22/05/2011 21:39

ps what you think is going to be a cute hobby takes over your life

once your/her ds signs on the dotted line, they own all your asses

ime

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