To tell my best friend's DH that he has two days to tell her what's going on or I will?

[Megatron]

I really don't know what to do.

I was in a park with DD today and saw my best friend's DH out with another woman (I know he works with her). They were having a picnic together and were kissing, holiding hands. feeding her (boak) and he was running his hand up and down her inner thigh. He turned and saw me and nearly crapped himself, scrambling to his feet and pretending to answer his phone (wanker).

I fucking hate him. They've been married for 2 years and have a 10 week old DS. Her last relationship was horrendous (DV) and she thought she'd found the man of her dreams (we all did). She told me yesterday how lucky she felt to have met him - I love my friend and I know this will destroy her and I don't know how to deal with it at all. He's been trying to ring my mobile but I'm not picking up.

What the hell do I do? Do i pretend it hasn't happened (I can't do that, I know I can't). Do I tell her? Do I give him the opportunity to tell her?

I want to trap his balls in a vice. Please folks, can you give me some guidance?

[MollysChamber]

Well done Megatron. I think you did the only thing you could given the circumstances. Very brave.

Please keep us updated on how she is getting on.

I really feel for you both. Horrible, horrible situation.

[Morloth]

I hope if I ever find myself in the same situation as your friend, that I have a friend as loving as you.

I really feel for you, it must have been awful.

None of this is your doing, this is all on him, he will probably fuck with her head and try to make this your fault in some way.

What a complete shit.

[perfumedlife]

Wow, he really is a calous bastard of the highest order! He came home and put the kettle on?

Remember Megatron, you really did not have a hand in this, the only part you played was the part of a real friend, and that's ongoing. When my friend told me what lies my family had told me, i cut contact with my mother, father, two sisters, an aunt and a cousin, for three six years. Not once in those six years did i wish he hadn't told me, not for a second. Knowledge is power.

You are the friend everybody wishes they had.

[cestlavielife]

"Been going on since before she was pregnant with her DS" - wow, what a xxxxxx.

good she knows now and can decide what to do ....

[TheBolter]

Megatron, you did a very noble thing; you are a very good and loving friend. I hope your friend makes the right decision whatever she chooses to do. God she must be going through hell.

[Alibabaandthe80nappies]

What an arsehole. Your poor friend :(

Agree with Chipping that it is a good sign that she's told her Mum.

[Animation]

Yes knowledge is power and the truth will set you free.

[GandTiceandaslice]

Megatron, you lovely person.
And you didn't break her heart. He did. The wanker.

[MissJanuary]

Megatron, you abolutely did the right thing by telling your friend. And by not replying to his text.

Even if she does decide to stay with him, at least her eyes are open as to what he is capable of.

I stayed with my OH after his emotional affair and yes I'm glad I did, but I'm more gald I see him for who he really is - flaws especially.

If you can update us later about your friend please do so. Again, you acted the they way I would expect a good friend to.

[randomimposter]

megatron you did the right thing, quickly, no fuss, no (over)dramatics -
you are lucky to have such a great friendship, both of you.

I hope your friend gets a happy resolution to this.

[lemmein]

I think you did the right thing. Years ago I saw my best friends dad out with another woman (cuddling, kissing, etc). He saw me (I was a teen at the time) and panicked - I was just stunned. A few days later my friend told me that her dad had approached her the day after and confessed he was having an affair and made her promise not to say anything to her mum(!) She never has. He had been sleeping with this woman throughout his long marriage, she is his wifes 'friend' - shes even stayed over at their house!

I suspect his wife knew all along - he's very dominant, and has a history of DV, so I think she knew but just kept her mouth shut to keep the peace. She's put up with far worse behaviour over the years - I feed sad to look at her - what she could have been if she'd never met him. Bastard!

[ChickensHaveNoEyebrows]

Well done. It must have been so very difficult to tell her, but now at least she can make a decision with all the facts. He sounds like a cold bastard tbh, and if my DH was so deceitful I'd definitely want to know. I wouldn't be able to resist texting him back along the lines of 'Of course I told her. I'm always honest with people I love', but realise that it wouldn't actually be helpful. But oh God I'd want to swing for him.

[CoffeeIsMyFriend]

oh mega what can I say? so 2 marriages potentially shattered...

Apart from the husband is a total cunt! over a year.

Sending strong thoughts for your friend and you.

[ShoutyHamster]

She's lucky to have you

Well done on being honest with her. That's what friends are for.

Poor woman x

[TheOriginalFAB]

Enjoy lovely snuggles with the baby and don't forget you did nothing wrong, you did the right thing.

[geordieminx]

I actually can't believe the brass neck of him to be in the park having a picnic with the OW... There's nowt like shitting on your own doorstep is there?

Tbh if he was that blatant about it then it was only a matter of time before your friend found out, one way or another. I'm pleased she had someone who really cares about her to tell her the truth.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

Well Megatron, whatever else your friend doesn't have in her life, she has you. You're a really great friend to have, she knows that and you've treated her with supreme kindness and enabled her to keep her dignity during this horrible time. Kudos to you.

[Inertia]

Megatron, please don't feel guilty about telling your friend what her shit of a husband has been doing . You have handled this awful situation so well, and you sound like a wonderful supportive friend.

This man was fondling another woman in a local park - seriously, he'd have been found out sooner rather than later. This way, your friend has heard the facts from someone she trusts and can rely on for support - the alternatives might have been months of gossip behind her back, or anonymous notes or phone calls from acquaintances, or coming across bits of evidence, doubting herself, being lied to. You have enabled her to take control of her future, not broken her heart.

[ballstoit]

Megatron, You sound a lovely friend, you've done what you thought was right and that's all anyone can do (I agree with you as it happens but even if I hadn't could see you were deciding for the right reasons).

Hope you've had a cuddly day with your friend's DS, and I'm sending you a large for later.

[TheOriginalFAB]

Mega - how has your day been? How is your friend?

[podsquash]

hope you are feeling ok, megatron, and reeeeeeaaallllly hope your friend is doing alright.

[YellowDinosaur]

I think you did absolutely the right thing Megatron and agree that I would always want a friend like you in this situation. You have shown yourself to be a true friend and I echo that it wasn't you who broke her heart.

I hope you are both doing OK today x