To tell my best friend's DH that he has two days to tell her what's going on or I will?

[Megatron]

I really don't know what to do.

I was in a park with DD today and saw my best friend's DH out with another woman (I know he works with her). They were having a picnic together and were kissing, holiding hands. feeding her (boak) and he was running his hand up and down her inner thigh. He turned and saw me and nearly crapped himself, scrambling to his feet and pretending to answer his phone (wanker).

I fucking hate him. They've been married for 2 years and have a 10 week old DS. Her last relationship was horrendous (DV) and she thought she'd found the man of her dreams (we all did). She told me yesterday how lucky she felt to have met him - I love my friend and I know this will destroy her and I don't know how to deal with it at all. He's been trying to ring my mobile but I'm not picking up.

What the hell do I do? Do i pretend it hasn't happened (I can't do that, I know I can't). Do I tell her? Do I give him the opportunity to tell her?

I want to trap his balls in a vice. Please folks, can you give me some guidance?

[QuintessentialOldMoo]

I think Mega is being a good and descent friend, and would not really come back to update us on her friend now that she has worked out how to handle it.

Good luck Mega, you rock. You are a good friend.

[constantlytired]

Hi...This thread has stayed with me for a couple of days, popping into my head....just can't believe how utterly disgusting this excuse for a man is....How is your friend doing?

[CoffeeIsMyFriend]

hope you are all ok Mega

[pingu2209]

Any news on your friend?

[DirtyMartini]

Brave work, Megatron.

"I knew you'd tell her" -- WTAF? That alone confirms you've done her a massive favour.

Hugs to the baby x

[geordieminx]

Fairy you might want to read the thread scroll down 100 or so messages, she has already told her

[BrokenBananaTantrum]

Megatron. Everyone should have a friend like you. You are a great friend and it is not you who has broken her heart it is him. Good on you. I hope the weekend has been manageable for you and your friend.

[fairydoll]

NO NO NO stay out of it!!!!
Instead of thanking you, your friend and her DH will both end up hating you.I have seen this happen SO many times.

[pingu2209]

How is your friend? This weekend will be hard? Has she kicked her husband out?

[QuackQuackSqueak]

Your poor friend!

[YellowDinosaur]

I think you did absolutely the right thing Megatron and agree that I would always want a friend like you in this situation. You have shown yourself to be a true friend and I echo that it wasn't you who broke her heart.

I hope you are both doing OK today x

[podsquash]

hope you are feeling ok, megatron, and reeeeeeaaallllly hope your friend is doing alright.

[TheOriginalFAB]

Mega - how has your day been? How is your friend?

[ballstoit]

Megatron, You sound a lovely friend, you've done what you thought was right and that's all anyone can do (I agree with you as it happens but even if I hadn't could see you were deciding for the right reasons).

Hope you've had a cuddly day with your friend's DS, and I'm sending you a large for later.

[Inertia]

Megatron, please don't feel guilty about telling your friend what her shit of a husband has been doing . You have handled this awful situation so well, and you sound like a wonderful supportive friend.

This man was fondling another woman in a local park - seriously, he'd have been found out sooner rather than later. This way, your friend has heard the facts from someone she trusts and can rely on for support - the alternatives might have been months of gossip behind her back, or anonymous notes or phone calls from acquaintances, or coming across bits of evidence, doubting herself, being lied to. You have enabled her to take control of her future, not broken her heart.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

Well Megatron, whatever else your friend doesn't have in her life, she has you. You're a really great friend to have, she knows that and you've treated her with supreme kindness and enabled her to keep her dignity during this horrible time. Kudos to you.

[geordieminx]

I actually can't believe the brass neck of him to be in the park having a picnic with the OW... There's nowt like shitting on your own doorstep is there?

Tbh if he was that blatant about it then it was only a matter of time before your friend found out, one way or another. I'm pleased she had someone who really cares about her to tell her the truth.

[TheOriginalFAB]

Enjoy lovely snuggles with the baby and don't forget you did nothing wrong, you did the right thing.

[ShoutyHamster]

She's lucky to have you

Well done on being honest with her. That's what friends are for.

Poor woman x

[CoffeeIsMyFriend]

oh mega what can I say? so 2 marriages potentially shattered...

Apart from the husband is a total cunt! over a year.

Sending strong thoughts for your friend and you.

[ChickensHaveNoEyebrows]

Well done. It must have been so very difficult to tell her, but now at least she can make a decision with all the facts. He sounds like a cold bastard tbh, and if my DH was so deceitful I'd definitely want to know. I wouldn't be able to resist texting him back along the lines of 'Of course I told her. I'm always honest with people I love', but realise that it wouldn't actually be helpful. But oh God I'd want to swing for him.

[lemmein]

I think you did the right thing. Years ago I saw my best friends dad out with another woman (cuddling, kissing, etc). He saw me (I was a teen at the time) and panicked - I was just stunned. A few days later my friend told me that her dad had approached her the day after and confessed he was having an affair and made her promise not to say anything to her mum(!) She never has. He had been sleeping with this woman throughout his long marriage, she is his wifes 'friend' - shes even stayed over at their house!

I suspect his wife knew all along - he's very dominant, and has a history of DV, so I think she knew but just kept her mouth shut to keep the peace. She's put up with far worse behaviour over the years - I feed sad to look at her - what she could have been if she'd never met him. Bastard!