Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Babysitter having sex?!

210 replies

JaneFonda · 30/04/2011 17:57

This is a long story, I'll try to keep it short.

On Wednesday night, me and DP went out and asked a family friend's DD (17) to babysit for our DS's (7 and 5), we said her boyfriend could come round as well as they are both lovely teens.

Everything seemed fine, until today.

We have security cameras in/around our house and DP was checking them as there has been a group of teenagers causing nuisance around our neighbours' house over the past couple of weeks, so was seeing if any damage was caused, when he called me over.

On the camera, we saw the babysitter and her boyfriend kissing, then beginning to get undressed before disappearing into another room, and coming out some time later. I can only assume they had sex in there, and I feel quite disgusted and as though our home has been violated.

DS's were fast asleep upstairs, so no concern there, but I just don't know what to do. WWYD?

OP posts:
merrywidow · 30/04/2011 19:45

I did the very same thing when I was 17. Do I get a little tramp badge?

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 30/04/2011 19:47

Well, it's not like you set up cameras to film her. So I don't have any particular outrage in that department Grin you have cameras for the outside of your house. One of them also captures a bit of the inside. You didn't do anything wrong there.
I'm not quite sure why people are reading something totally different from the actual words you have typed, which explain the situation quite clearly. [baffled]

Re the film - just destroy it. Don't tell her. She'll die a thousand deaths.

But you have to tell her about the cctv. I don't know how the hell you are going to put it but you have to tell her, if she babysits for you again.

And re the sex with her boyfriend - well, that's a personal thing. It wouldn't actually bother me if my kids were asleep and if they woke up, she'd stop and go and see to them. But different people feel differently.

I could say that you have sex in the house when you are looking after the kids and they're asleep, Grin but people tend to feel differently when it's someone else doing it in their home, don't they?

TheSecondComing · 30/04/2011 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HavePatience · 30/04/2011 20:02

I agree with Hectate. And as for how op can "explain" the CCTV, she already has - that She has had a series of break ins so there are CCTV cameras in x and y locations to capture the identity of possible intruders on the cameras.

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 30/04/2011 20:04

No, I meant how is she going to put it that one of them can see the corridor without clearly telling the girl she was seen last time.

farkthatforagameofsoldiers · 30/04/2011 20:12

newgolddream didn't say it, she was quoting a previous poster.

TheMonster · 30/04/2011 20:12

If the camera was being checked to see what was going on outside, but it also captured what was happening in the utility corridor, does that mean that the corridor is in full view of outside?

HavePatience · 30/04/2011 20:13

Oh yes. That will be difficult. She'll just have to say it with a straight face then change the subject quickly so not to embarrass the girl

squeakytoy · 30/04/2011 20:15

she can just say they have been newly installed of course!

JaneFonda · 30/04/2011 20:18

"If the camera was being checked to see what was going on outside, but it also captured what was happening in the utility corridor, does that mean that the corridor is in full view of outside?"

Partly - some of the corridor has glass doors on the side, and there are also windows etc.

But I really don't see how the camera is an issue - it's not there to creepily look at other people, and I don't inform guests of the fact that I have cameras - there would be no reason for them to be in the utility corridor unless they were heading over to do some laundry!

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfTheNight · 30/04/2011 20:20

Oh yeah? ST, are you sure that'd work? Grin

"we've just had cameras installed due to a high number of break ins. They are outside, but one of them captures a bit of the corridor too."

Unless the girl has only the one, lonely braincell floating around in her head, she'll know exactly what's happened.

HalleluiaScot · 30/04/2011 20:26

I don't get that if you are a fan of extra-marital shagging why it matters what your BS is getting up to. At 17, it is legal, and takes no more concentration than watching a movie.

TheMonster · 30/04/2011 20:34

JaneFonda, I am as perplexed as you as to what they were doing in the corridor.

marmaladetwatkins · 30/04/2011 20:41

Perhaps the babysitter and her boyfriend can only get their rocks off when surrounded by cleaning products?

Serenitysutton · 30/04/2011 20:46

I'm not sure why wo many posters think the op mightve done something wring having cameras. It's her house, she can have cameras in it If she wants. What do you think is going to happen to her??

In terms of the sex I'm not surprised, if it bothers you just don't ask her to sit again.

hormonesnomore · 30/04/2011 20:52

I too had a 17 year old babysitter who used to invite her boyfriend along (with our consent) when we went out for the evening.

She got pregnant while at our house and I felt guilty. I felt bad that I hadn't protected this young woman.

I didn't feel bad that she & her bf were shagging in my house when my DD was asleep - hell, my ex-h & I did that too!!

Your home 'has been violated' by someone having sex in it? Perfectly normal behaviour I'd say OP.

FabbyChic · 30/04/2011 20:55

Is it not possible they were there because they did not not want to be caught by the children, so they were where the children would not look should they wake up and come down?

marmaladetwatkins · 30/04/2011 20:57

"I'm not sure why wo many posters think the op mightve done something wring having cameras. It's her house, she can have cameras in it If she wants. What do you think is going to happen to her??"

No, but you should let people know if they're being filmed. It's an invasion of privacy.

squeakytoy · 30/04/2011 21:01

Unless the girl has only the one, lonely braincell floating around in her head, she'll know exactly what's happened

Not if she does it regularly... hardly sounds like this was the first time! Grin

No need to be specific about where it is installed, ie mentioning the corridor.

JaneFonda · 30/04/2011 21:03

Marmalade, I wouldn't expect someone to tell me if they had CCTV on the side of their house, so I don't think I should have 'warned' my babysitter, especially considering they don't film anywhere that I would expect her to be.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 30/04/2011 21:04

But supposing it was a warm night and they had been sat out in the garden?

How fecking big is your house that you dont expect them to be in certain "corridors"...

paulapantsdown · 30/04/2011 21:06

Well, at 17 I would have been having sex while babysitting!

HecateQueenOfTheNight · 30/04/2011 21:07

at 17 I would have been babysitting to have a place to have sex!

ilovepancakes · 30/04/2011 21:07

exactly! why should you have to explain about cctv thats outside your house?

Serenitysutton · 30/04/2011 21:11

Well it's a moral dilemma, but you don't HAVE to tell them.