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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Babysitter having sex?!

210 replies

JaneFonda · 30/04/2011 17:57

This is a long story, I'll try to keep it short.

On Wednesday night, me and DP went out and asked a family friend's DD (17) to babysit for our DS's (7 and 5), we said her boyfriend could come round as well as they are both lovely teens.

Everything seemed fine, until today.

We have security cameras in/around our house and DP was checking them as there has been a group of teenagers causing nuisance around our neighbours' house over the past couple of weeks, so was seeing if any damage was caused, when he called me over.

On the camera, we saw the babysitter and her boyfriend kissing, then beginning to get undressed before disappearing into another room, and coming out some time later. I can only assume they had sex in there, and I feel quite disgusted and as though our home has been violated.

DS's were fast asleep upstairs, so no concern there, but I just don't know what to do. WWYD?

OP posts:
zikes · 30/04/2011 18:07

Er, teenage bf and gf alone in house, sex would be pretty much inevitable, I'd have thought. Can't you remember being 17 and in luurve?

HalleluiaScot · 30/04/2011 18:07

When I had babysitters, I used to tell them to make themselves at home...

Hardandsleazy · 30/04/2011 18:09

Meant shock- and it's the age.. Dss used to sneak his gf in after we went to bed .. All hell broke lose when I came down to do a nightfeed and found them- so do understand about feeling livid as it's your home when actually it's not really any harm or very surprising ( I was no angel).

Vallhala · 30/04/2011 18:09

They stripped off in the utility corridor? Hmm

Interesting how in your OP you say that there are cameras IN / around your house and then when questioned about your own extraordinary behaviour you change your story to say that they are not actually inside your house. Hmm

  1. Don't employ 17 yos to care for your children.... OR
  1. Don't allow them to have anyone else on the premises when they are there to care for your children.... OR
  1. Don't have cameras pointing into OR WITHIN your house so that you are able to spy on your visitors.
BluddyMoFo · 30/04/2011 18:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Themumsnot · 30/04/2011 18:11

You went out but while out (where were you?) your DP was checking your security cameras "to see if any damage was caused". I don't believe this for one second. You were checking up on your babysitter without a doubt. YABU and a bit creepy into the bargain.
When I have a teenage babysitter and they bring their bf/gf along I make damn sure I make a lot of noise coming back into the house - because I kind of expect them to be taking advantage of the privacy.

FabbyChic · 30/04/2011 18:11

She is 17 years old old enough to have sex, your children were not affected, they were asleep.

It is none of your business, and you have no right to say anything to her.

You do have an obligation to delete what you have of her on film, and you can get another babysitter if you like, however you are not at liberty to tell her parents as she is a consenting adult.

manticlimactic · 30/04/2011 18:12

The camera films quite a lot inside considering they are filming outside. Were they undressing in the corridor? Hmm

It wouldn't bother me as long as they didn't use my bed. I've had sex lots of times while my DC has been asleep.

Just don't use her again if it makes you uncomfortable..

psiloveyou · 30/04/2011 18:12

Very strange. Were they in the utility corridor when yo filmed them?. Strange place to get jiggy.

IMO if you ask a teenage couple to babysit they are probably going to use the opportunity to have sex. I know I did Blush

Delete the film and never mention it. If I was her mum I would be livid with you.

zikes · 30/04/2011 18:12

The utility room seems a funny place to start getting fruity. I suppose there's the washing machine Grin.

Original poster
JaneFonda · 30/04/2011 18:12

Err yes, this is one IN my house - pointing outside at the front.

I find it amazing that people have made me out to be some sort of paedophile for having cameras for home security reasons after a series of break ins - they would NEVER be used for 'spyng' on people.

OP posts:
Ooopsadaisy · 30/04/2011 18:12

I still find it weird that you have any cameras at all, anywhere near your house.

I think the decent thing to do would be to warn everyone that they are there. I thought there were some kind of laws about filming people without their knowledge. Clearly not.

Are you royal? Grin

Next time the babysitter comes round, leave some condoms Grin!!!

whackamole · 30/04/2011 18:13

I think if I had found that out about a babysitter, I might feel weird about it but would try not to let it bother me.

especially as I did it myself as a teen Blush

Yes, they were supposed to be looking after the children, but in reality, what do you expect a babysitter to do? Surely you have sex in your own house when the kids are sleeping?

So long as they didn't use your anal beads lube then it's fine Grin

whackamole · 30/04/2011 18:14

Oooooh wasn't supposed to bold that!

zikes · 30/04/2011 18:15

I wouldn't say the implication was paedophile, more freaky voyeur. Grin

millie30 · 30/04/2011 18:16

Does the babysitter know that there are cameras, and where they point to? Even if she wasn't having sex, what if she needed to adjust her bra, or spilled something down her top and needed to change it? Surely she should have a right to know that she is being filmed so that she can protect her privacy.

practicallyimperfect · 30/04/2011 18:17

When I was that age and babysat with my bf, we used to get up to stuff.

Original poster
JaneFonda · 30/04/2011 18:17

"You went out but while out (where were you?) your DP was checking your security cameras "to see if any damage was caused". I don't believe this for one second. You were checking up on your babysitter without a doubt. YABU and a bit creepy into the bargain."

What?! Well, that's a whole lot of ridiculous assumptions.

DP didn't check the cameras while we were out - he was checking them a few days later, after our neighbour had asked us to see if the cameras picked up any of the faces of the teenagers outside her house.

We trusted our babysitter completely, she is a lovely girl.

OP posts:
HellNoSayItAintSo · 30/04/2011 18:18

I think if you let a 17 year old and her boyfriend babysit, you're a bit dim-witted to be surprised at them having sex. WTF do you think they would do?

Ooopsadaisy · 30/04/2011 18:18

whackamole - now everyone knows yous a bold slapper! Grin

"Babysitting" was a euphemisim when I was a teen.

It really meant "I'm getting paid to have sex in someone's house once their children are in bed cos we can't do it at my house cos my boyfriend's scared of my Dad and his Mum's watching the TV at his house."

poptyping1 · 30/04/2011 18:18

How does your outdoor CCTV see inside the house? Remember doing something similar when I was a teenager with my DP [cblush].. I would be horrified if someone filmed parts of me! I would pretend you never saw it and bin it. Don't let her have her BoyF over again if you are happy to hire her again.

DontGoCurly · 30/04/2011 18:18

I cant believe you're suprised ! Confused

What else did you think would happen when you left a teenage boy and girl alone together?!!!

GypsyMoth · 30/04/2011 18:19

what is a utility corridor doing near a porch?? in fact,whats a utility corridor?

LilQueenie · 30/04/2011 18:19

yanbu you trusted them and I can understand how setting up security cameras for outside would allow a partial view of the inside. For all those who think the OP strange have you ever considered those teddy bears for putting in babies room to check on them!

maxpower · 30/04/2011 18:20

I'd forget about it. TBH if you didn't have the cameras or if your DP hadn't checked them, you wouldn't know what had happened while you were out and wouldn't be worrying about it now. Your DCs are fine I assume? Ignorance can be bliss.