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AIBU?

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Original poster

Babysitter having sex?!

210 replies

JaneFonda · 30/04/2011 17:57

This is a long story, I'll try to keep it short.

On Wednesday night, me and DP went out and asked a family friend's DD (17) to babysit for our DS's (7 and 5), we said her boyfriend could come round as well as they are both lovely teens.

Everything seemed fine, until today.

We have security cameras in/around our house and DP was checking them as there has been a group of teenagers causing nuisance around our neighbours' house over the past couple of weeks, so was seeing if any damage was caused, when he called me over.

On the camera, we saw the babysitter and her boyfriend kissing, then beginning to get undressed before disappearing into another room, and coming out some time later. I can only assume they had sex in there, and I feel quite disgusted and as though our home has been violated.

DS's were fast asleep upstairs, so no concern there, but I just don't know what to do. WWYD?

OP posts:
Nixea · 30/04/2011 18:21

"teddy bears for putting in babies room to check on them"

Eh?? This just sounds like the kind of thing nightmares are made of! Teddies with camera eyes....shudders

alistron1 · 30/04/2011 18:21

I'm amazed that you have a utility corridor!! I want one too Grin

But yes, 17 year old BF and GF will obviously be at it like rabbits when babysitting. I used to 'babysit' my little sister when she was little and I was 17. After she was asleep my BF and I were up to no good. It was the only chance we got!!!

Ooopsadaisy · 30/04/2011 18:22

What's with all this spying???? I'm actually quite scared.

suzikettles · 30/04/2011 18:23

"have you ever considered those teddy bears for putting in babies room to check on them"

No. Because I'm not a paranoid loon

MollieO · 30/04/2011 18:23

Weirdly I seem to be almost alone along with the OP to think that the babysitter should not be having sex whilst babysitting. What if one of the dcs woke and found them?

Is it possible that a 17 yr old couple could enjoy spending time together with their clothes on? Or does that no longer happen these days?

LynetteScavo · 30/04/2011 18:23

Loads of people have cameras watching the outside of their property. (Loads of people seems to have fake ones too Hmm) so I don't know what all the fuss is about the cameras.

OP, I think you should chill, though, about them having sex. I would be annoyed she wasn't listening out for DC when I was paying her to, but I think you should get over feeling violated. People have sex quite a lot, we just don't usually know about it.

Bogeyface · 30/04/2011 18:24

I think you are niave to be surprised, and I wouldnt say anything because regardless of why your camera is placed where it is, it does sound weird and "nanny-cam"

But, I wouldnt use her again because it would make me feel icky too.

suzikettles · 30/04/2011 18:26

Actually Mollie, I think it's absolutely fair enough for the op to not want the babysitter to have sex in her house, although if she wants to be sure then I'd suggest not having the bf round.

But, I'd still be far more mortified that I'd caught footage of the preamble on film and would be deleting it immediately.

She'd be perfectly reasonable to not use the babysitter again, or not have the bf round again.

HellNoSayItAintSo · 30/04/2011 18:28

The fuss about the cameras is that one is pointed at the inside of the house filming a young person who is unaware. OP says they are not used for spying, clearly they are as you have spied on her. Hmm

And these days? Are you mad? Since when have 17 years old alone ever, since the dawn of time, done much else other than get it on? It wasn't invented in the Noughties!

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 30/04/2011 18:32

Bet our 17 year old babysitter loves us Grin DS1 sat and talked to her boyfriend about football for 2 hours last time she sat for us! Bet that was a passion killer Grin

fluffygal · 30/04/2011 18:34

I think YANBU. I know people with cameras on their properties, don't see the issue or why you're being jumped on for it?

I do think you were being naive to invite the BF over, but I don't see why you should just accept that every 17 year old will have sex in your home when babysitting, I wouldn't have dared at that age and I was a slutty randy teenager. Do any posters run their own business? Would you be happy if your employers got jiggy whilst working?

GypsyMoth · 30/04/2011 18:35

we have a police case going on right now because dd was filmed 'without consent' in someones house!!!

be carefull......

BluddyMoFo · 30/04/2011 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsFionaCharming · 30/04/2011 18:39

I think YANBU. My boyfriend came babysitting with me frequently and we never used it as an opportunity to have sex! We had our own houses for that and I think it's completely disrespectful of them!

braidedsilver · 30/04/2011 18:42

YANBU Not sure what the laws are there, but in the states you can have security cameras IN and around house, and you do NOT have to tell any one who works for you in your home about them. Where I grew up that was normal and expected, so to me, if your sitter didn't think there was a possibility of a "nanny cam" she's an idiot. You feel like your home was violated, that's not always the most rational of feelings, but it's understandable. I'd have her over for a chat and let her know why you won't be using her again, and then delete the film. She should learn that actions have consequences. It's a strict policy of mine never to have sex in a home that isn't mine, out of respect for my hosts. So whenever we're visiting family if we end up staying the night DH is SOL on that front. And I'm sure a lot of you will think I'm unreasonable for my views, but there's likely just a culture gap there. This is the way I was raised. OP are your camera's hidden or visible? Not that it matters just curious.

Absolutelyfabulous · 30/04/2011 18:42

YABU.
If the children were asleep, no harm done.
Why were they undressing in a corridor?

Ooopsadaisy · 30/04/2011 18:43

Do the parents of all your dc's mates and the dcs round your way know their dcs are filmed around your house? Sounds like a problem waiting to happen to me. Do you warn all your guests too? I'm just imagining your dear old Uncle Albert getting fruity at your New Years party!

BendyBob · 30/04/2011 18:44

I think yanbu to dislike it, I wouldn't either. But yabu or very naive not to think it probably would happen. You are handing them an opportunity on a plate.

The camera thing is a bit odd imo. I wouldn't need a camera to know what had probably taken place. If you're upset then don't leave teen girlfiend/boyfriend alone in the house.

PedigreeChump · 30/04/2011 18:45

YANBU. I wouldn't be very happy about this and would never have dreamt of shagging a bf while babysitting at 17 or any other age. This thread has opened my eyes to what people think is acceptable behaviour.

scotsgirl23 · 30/04/2011 18:46

Some of the comments about deliberately spying and deliberately filming are a little silly frankly, as are those suggesting the OP couldn't have a camera which looks outside but catches activity inside. I'm guessing that her house doesn't have a square footprint but is instead maybe L shaped or U shaped when viewed from above so that a camera looking out of one part of house, over HER garden, then catches another part of her house in the process.

OTOH, if your child was upstairs sleeping then no harm done, if you don't feel comfortable then don't use her again.

electra · 30/04/2011 18:48

I don't think you could say anything to her because you didn't warn her about the cameras - is it not illegal to film people without their consent? It was possibly a bit naive of you to let her boyfriend come over and expect nothing to happen. I would just chalk it up to experience and in the future don't invite the boyfriend over.

unsurevalentine · 30/04/2011 18:52

Erm - what did you expect two randy teenagers with nowhere to shag to do when left alone in your house with sleeping children?!

maypole1 · 30/04/2011 18:56

i dont allow my baby sitter to bring any one as i want the person tp babysit not chat or leave the kids crying while she snogs her boyfriend thanks

and the fact id you know who you have hired to babaysit but have no clue who the guy is and i rather not take id cheks from a teenage girl

Conflugenglugen · 30/04/2011 18:59

Okay, I'm going to leave the camera issue to one side because I can see where your argument could make sense in that regard, OP.

From the babysitter and making whoopie pov ... I think YABU to assume that they wouldn't have sex. Teens in love; adults out of the way; probably not being able to do it at home, etc. A done deal, imo.

However, YANBU to be pissed off about it. Not because sex is bad or dirty, or arguments of that ilk, but rather because it can be mightily distracting. I'm not sure your babysitter would have been aware enough of your kids if anything were to have gone wrong.

BumWiper · 30/04/2011 18:59

if there is any nudity in the film then you do realise its against the law as A]it was filmed without consent and B] she is 17 so it would be considered child porn.
just to let you know.

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