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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

IABU to think I shouldn't be told off by the police by daring to be a woman out alone after dark?

554 replies

MsScarlettInTheLibrary · 09/04/2011 23:29

I was walking through a deserted cut-through at around 11pm, on my way home. I'd been shopping and to the gym, as evidenced by the bags I carried.

I happened across a pair of policemen on bikes, who saw fit to brake and tell me I 'should be careful walking by myself at this time of night'.

IABU to feel angry and offended by this?

OP posts:
KatieMiddleton · 09/04/2011 23:30

YANBU. I hope you gave them a withering look.

pjmama · 09/04/2011 23:32

They're probably right, why would you be offended at their concern for your safety?

amberleaf · 09/04/2011 23:32

Anyone should be careful walking through a deserted cut through at 11pm.

YouaretooniceNOT · 09/04/2011 23:32

If that happened to me i would wonder what they knew about that area i was walking in that i didn't! I would be a bit scared! maybe they didn't want to frighten you by telling you the gory details of a previous crime commited there. or maybe they are newbie officers and a bit wonky. Thing is you can't possibly know why anyone does or says anything, can you? Even sometimes if you ask the question.

Will you walk there again?

Original poster
MsScarlettInTheLibrary · 09/04/2011 23:33

Why Amberleaf? There were policemen in it!

OP posts:
Iwantscallops · 09/04/2011 23:33

They offered you a word of warning - hardly told you off.

I would not be angry or offended, but then I personally wouldn't walk through a deserted cut on my own around here.

worraliberty · 09/04/2011 23:35

FFS of course YABU

As soon as other people stop giving a shit about you, then you'll have a reason to moan.

Original poster
MsScarlettInTheLibrary · 09/04/2011 23:35

Fair enough Iwantscallops!

YouaretooniceNOT - Of course I will walk there again. The other way home is much longer.

OP posts:
pjmama · 09/04/2011 23:36

Presumably they weren't going to walk you the rest of the way home, or be there next time your take your shortcut? If you want to ignore their advice, that's up to you but they were just doing their job. Plenty of moaning goes on about not enough police out on the streets, sounds like your area is being well covered but they can't be everwhere at once.

AgentZigzag · 09/04/2011 23:36

That doesn't sound that bad, would you have preferred they told you to get the fuck off home?

It's what they're there for.

YABU to try and twist this into a feminist issue, it's a reality, and like amber says it doesn't matter whether you're a man or woman.

YouaretooniceNOT · 09/04/2011 23:36

OK! Brave Lady!

Bumfuzz · 09/04/2011 23:37

YABU. Would you think nothing of it if they cycled past you without so much a looking in your direction? Or would it then be a case of "I can't believe police have just drove past me without acknowledging me when i was walking alone at this time of night!"

GypsyMoth · 09/04/2011 23:40

as a former police officer i would say they may well be in receipt of intelligence which the general public arent!!! maybe

i was once on patrol....by myself....early 90's s only had my radio and a truncheonShock.....my friend drove by and asked if i should be out on my own!!! i had handcuffs (old style) and everything!!

AgentZigzag · 09/04/2011 23:40

It's not alright if the OP ignores their advice pjmama, the police hofficers were trying to save our money by preventing crime

Original poster
MsScarlettInTheLibrary · 09/04/2011 23:40

I'm not that bad honestly. It was the patronising tone. Maybe I have issues Grin And the fact that they actually had to stop their (previously going quite a pace) bikes in order to speak to me. I was just on my way home, nothing sinister. I did get cross and banged about when I got back but I'll be happy if IABU Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
MsScarlettInTheLibrary · 09/04/2011 23:41

Hmm those emoticons should be there other way around....

OP posts:
BlueAmy · 09/04/2011 23:42

YADBU. They were showing concern. You can bet your life if they'd just rode by and ignored you, you would've complained. I can't believe you feel angry and offended by this, that's just daft.

Original poster
MsScarlettInTheLibrary · 09/04/2011 23:43

But why were they showing concern ....that's what my (possibly overactive) mind wants to know. I wasn't committing a crime. I'm an adult woman. Why should I be stopped by the police?

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 09/04/2011 23:44

not every crime is reported by the local news you know.....muggings/attackers/ they happen,more than you all know they do.....maybe they had just been briefed about a 'spate' of something.......how would you know??

BlueAmy · 09/04/2011 23:44

Btw, I don't think it's a bad thing that you walked where you did, just that you find it rude that someone shows concern for you. It really is better that they stopped and spoke to you, I find it hard to accept that anyone would see anything bad in this.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 09/04/2011 23:45

Could they have known that there was a dodgy person in the vicinity?

Bumfuzz · 09/04/2011 23:46

They were showing concern because they are police, and it is their job to make sure that the public are 'safe'. You wouldn't be the first woman to be attacked whilst walking home late at night, I'm sure they just wanted to remind you of this and hopefully make you walk home a bit quicker and more aware of your surroundings.

pjmama · 09/04/2011 23:47

AgentZigZag I didn't say it was alright for her to ignore their advice, just that it was her choice.

giraffesCantDanceWhileSober · 09/04/2011 23:50

like others id think theyy knew something you didnt

AgentZigzag · 09/04/2011 23:51

You're coming at it from the view that they were doing it in an oppressive way and why should they be making a point of stopping for someone going about their totally legal everyday life.

Fascist bully boys Grin

But I would say they will have family members they wouldn't want walking there on their own and they were giving you the same advice they'd give people they know.

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