IABU to think I shouldn't be told off by the police by daring to be a woman out alone after dark?

[MsScarlettInTheLibrary]

I was walking through a deserted cut-through at around 11pm, on my way home. I'd been shopping and to the gym, as evidenced by the bags I carried.

I happened across a pair of policemen on bikes, who saw fit to brake and tell me I 'should be careful walking by myself at this time of night'.

IABU to feel angry and offended by this?

Of course you can be attacked anywhere at anytime of the day, but you are more likely to be in a deserted cut through at 11pm at night time. Surely.

I really cannot understand why their concern offended you or made you angry.

I would think you would be much more likely to be mugged or raped in a deserted area after dark than at 11am on a high street, though.

Just noticed your MN name OP

I'd be worried if I was stopped by the rozzers too in your circumstances.

Did you do it with the lead pipe?

I really really don't get Women who never walk anywhere at night, stranger rape/murder is really not that commonplace. I often walk to the shop at 10pm via a secluded field with dodgy streetlights. I have even walked home from friends houses at 2/3am .

Dp has been stopped by police in a squad car, for the heinous crime of walking down the road at 4am (on his way to work).

I think people who have cars are ignorant of the fact that lots of people walk lots of places after dark. I often think of that poor mother who was stabbed in broad daylight near her home. You can meet a psycho anytime anyplace, I'll hedge my bets.

I used to literally run across pitch black fields as a teenager, heels in hand, trying to get home before I was due in. I wasn't murdered honestly.

Winnybella: I wouldn't be so sure about that. Too tired to look it up tonight but I'd bet a tenner that both are more likely to happen during the day / early evening with rapes being more likely in a location familiar to the victim and muggings more likely in side-streets and residential areas than either high streets or deserted areas.

It wouldn't have been the lone man's fault, where it would have been the lone woman's fault.

This is bizarre - they didn't tell you not to do it, they told you to be careful. They spend half thier professional lives dealing with people who aren;t careful and put themselves in a position that increases their risk and get hurt as a result. Sure it isn't their fault, they are mugged, raped etc but the moral high ground isn't necessarily a pleasant place to be with a black eye and grazed knees and shock.

Statistically young men are more at risk of being victims of crime than women so hopefully they would have said the same to a young man walking in an area they thought was high risk.

I think if you get so offended by something as minor as this you might like to try taking up a hobby to occupy your thoughts more!

I really really don't get Women who never walk anywhere at night, stranger rape/murder is really not that commonplace.

Rape is often not reported. I would rather worry about what could happen than take chances that it may not happen, and take risks.

Women are less likely to be attacked by strangers. It's much more likely, statistically speaking, that their attacker will be known to them eg husband, boyfriend

Feck off to bed then op dearie-this was a shite attwmpt at a wind up.

attempt-too tired for this bollocks.

I walk lots of places at night, just did last night. Also walked through a cut through but because it was warm lots of people were walking home and I felt comfortable enough that I was not alone. This was about quarter to eleven. I have lived near that cut through for 3 years and would never do that when no one was around as it is not a good idea and I know the risks of that area (it is one of the dodgier areas in south London).

Ever since I got pregnant people, including and especially my DP, always tell me off for walking around at night. It does get on my nerves, especially as DP had no problems with it before. But I understand the concern and just let it go.

If the police had said that to me I would have just taken it as fair warning.

I do very much agree with duckypoo's post. But I also think people should be aware of their surroundings, especially at night when it is easier to attack someone in darkness when no one is around.

You are being unreasonable walking through quiet secluded areas late at night can be risky for anyone. The police are not only there to turn up after a crime, I am pretty sure that they and you would prefer a crime to be prevented from occurring at all.

Yes in an ideal world people would be able to walk wherever they like safely however that is not our reality. If it's any consolation as a woman your actually less likely to be attacked by a stranger on the streets.

but I'm not necessarily talking about rape and murder mugging can be bloody scary and should presumably be avoided whatever your age/sex.

In our area women are being targeted leaving restauratns on thier own and followed until they are somewhere secluded then mugged. The last victim was so badly hurt she was in hosptial several days. Police have been about in the village warning people - would you object to this too?

"Rape is often not reported. I would rather worry about what could happen than take chances that it may not happen, and take risks."

Like what squeakytoy? What risks would you not take?

I will live my life and do what the eff I want, including walking where I want. The area I am is not a massive crime hotspot, the area I grew up in probably is tbh.

I will not curtail my activities because of some imagined threat, I have been raped, it wasn't via walking alone at night.
I will continue to do what I want and judge the risks according to circumstance.

If I am raped walking to the shops at 10pm because I have forgotten bread, it is the rapists fault not mine. I will not curtail my activities because of some nascent threat.

YABU.

I agree with Kewcumber and Duckypoo. If there is a specific threat, the police should inform people of it. A general, 'You shouldn't walk alone at night because you're female is stupid,'

free range punctuation.

I was once walked home/protected by a frigging dog though lol

What togorama said. YANBU.

ok being a man I have never experienced such an occurence. So I am asking this question purely out of curiosity, I am not trying to attribute value judgments or an opinion either way.
so Is someone in such a position simply offering practical advice to avoid danger or are they perputuating a culture whereby they feel if you don't take measures you deserve what you get? if someone saw you leave your door unlocked in a dodgy area, surely they'd say to you " you may want to lock up", now this obviously doesn't mean those who don't lock up deserve to be broken in to. but I'm just wondering if people might find it analogous to the situation the op provided.
The police warned her of the dangers of the area. at no point did they justify the potential outcomes or try to transfer blame, they apparently just acknowledged the reality of the situation and warned her.

ok being a man I have never experienced such an occurence. So I am asking this question purely out of curiosity, I am not trying to attribute value judgments or an opinion either way.
so Is someone in such a position simply offering practical advice to avoid danger or are they perputuating a culture whereby they feel if you don't take measures you deserve what you get? if someone saw you leave your door unlocked in a dodgy area, surely they'd say to you " you may want to lock up", now this obviously doesn't mean those who don't lock up deserve to be broken in to. but I'm just wondering if people might find it analogous to the situation the op provided.
The police warned her of the dangers of the area. at no point did they justify the potential outcomes or try to transfer blame, they apparently just acknowledged the reality of the situation and warned her.

ok being a man I have never experienced such an occurence. So I am asking this question purely out of curiosity, I am not trying to attribute value judgments or an opinion either way.
so Is someone in such a position simply offering practical advice to avoid danger or are they perputuating a culture whereby they feel if you don't take measures you deserve what you get? if someone saw you leave your door unlocked in a dodgy area, surely they'd say to you " you may want to lock up", now this obviously doesn't mean those who don't lock up deserve to be broken in to. but I'm just wondering if people might find it analogous to the situation the op provided.
The police warned her of the dangers of the area. at no point did they justify the potential outcomes or try to transfer blame, they apparently just acknowledged the reality of the situation and warned her.

Yes, alright mayorquimby, no need to repeat yourself.

Attention seeker

just drunk and wanting some love.
so
so
drunk

NOW WHERE IS MY ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!