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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think women CAN have casual sex?

217 replies

GastonTheLadybird · 15/03/2011 13:10

I have read a few things recently that have said that women and men are essentially wired differently and that women will always feel rejected, cheap and used after casual encounters.

I think this is just as bad as saying that casual sex is empowering etc. For some people it will be, and some people will feel rejected but equally some women can just enjoy casual sex without it being any more or less than that.

Or AIBU and we are 'wired' differently?

OP posts:
worraliberty · 15/03/2011 13:12

I don't know about 'wired' but of course we are all different/individuals.

TobyLerone · 15/03/2011 13:12

Some people can have casual sex, and some people can't. I don't think it's anything to do with males/females.

TitsalinaBumSquash · 15/03/2011 13:13

I agree that it's up to the individual regardless of gender.

FabbyChic · 15/03/2011 13:13

I have a few friends who take sex with a pinch of salt and will happily share their bed casually with a number of one off partners weekly.

For some sex is about more than just sex and it starts a long time outside the bedroom, for others they just love it so go out and get it.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 15/03/2011 13:15

Agree with Toby -

EricNorthmansMistress · 15/03/2011 13:17

Of course we can, if we want to.

Desperateforthinnerthighs · 15/03/2011 13:17

Agree with Toby - depends on the person, not their gender.

Original poster
GastonTheLadybird · 15/03/2011 13:20

Agreed, it's not a gender thing, I know men who would never have casual sex.

I have friends in RL too who think women 'can't' have casual sex/fuck buddies without falling in love, like we are just silly little women at the mercy of our hormones or some shit.

Drives me mad!

OP posts:
Sarsaparilllla · 15/03/2011 13:20

Totally down ot the person not the gender, ofcourse some women can have casual sex, me included, same as some men

NinkyNonker · 15/03/2011 13:23

I'm sure some can, I can't.

Rosedee · 15/03/2011 14:58

What sarsaparillla said.

SeeJaneKick · 15/03/2011 18:26

I hate the term "fuck buddy". It makes something which is important into something throwaway.

It's bad to have loads of partners for many different reasons

Off the top of my head...

Prmiscuity can and does affect the physical health of people...especially women. Hardly any cases of cervical cancer in Nuns

The social acceptability of casual sex does nothing for the promotion of the nuclear family...which is a good thing. Lone parents will always be part of life and that's fine. But it's not ideal

HecateTheCrone · 15/03/2011 18:33

god no. I had casual sex aplenty in my youth.

Not so much used as user.

My. That doesn't make me sound good, does it? Blush

I think it's all because women are not supposed to be sexual beings. We are supposed to do our duty for our husbands. Lie back and think of england. pull me nightie dahn whin yer dun.

A sexual woman is a deviant woman. It's about controlling female sexuality.

or something less militant. Blush

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 15/03/2011 18:35

Hec - Grin
me too... Blush

seejane - pfft. I have nothing else to add. except maybe Biscuit .

usualsuspect · 15/03/2011 18:38

Nothing wrong with casual sex

seejanekick ...whatever

HecateTheCrone · 15/03/2011 18:39

yes. Because the woman bears the children, her sexual behaviour must be controlled in order to ensure the man has control of the womb.

geordieminx · 15/03/2011 18:39

amen Hecate

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 15/03/2011 18:39

Damn, I couldnt do it!! Angry

I dont understand the logic? Surely a "fuck buddy" is better to your delicate sensibilities than "sleeping around"? A person could have one "fuck buddy" without being promiscuous!?

And having had an interesting youth, I somehow managed to be married before creating my perfect nuclear family. So I dont know what that has to do with the price of fish?

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 15/03/2011 18:41

PS, OP YADNBU :)

Vallhala · 15/03/2011 18:44

What Hecate said.

And you can keep your nuclear families, SJK, I have neither a desire nor a duty to protect it.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/03/2011 18:46

YANBU.

I had loads of casual sex in my twenties, great fun.

seejanekick - there are such things as condoms you know, which handily prevent things like STDs and babies.

Sex doesn't have to be important IMO. It can 'just' be fun......

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/03/2011 18:47

Blimey I missed the nuclear family bit. Yep, I have one of those too! Grin

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 15/03/2011 18:48

Ahh, I miss casual sex.... Grin

BertieBotts · 15/03/2011 18:50

It's definitely about individuals rather than gender OR morality. To me, sex is a really big, important thing, I couldn't imagine enjoying it with someone I didn't love, I have no interest in one-night stands etc. But I understand that others can take it just for sex, and that's up to them, surely?

As long as everything is consensual and above board (ie no cheating etc) I think people have the right to the sex life they want without judgement.

exoticfruits · 15/03/2011 19:02

It depends entirely on personality. I don't mind what others do, but it isn't for me-I have to have the deep emotional involvement.