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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think women CAN have casual sex?

217 replies

GastonTheLadybird · 15/03/2011 13:10

I have read a few things recently that have said that women and men are essentially wired differently and that women will always feel rejected, cheap and used after casual encounters.

I think this is just as bad as saying that casual sex is empowering etc. For some people it will be, and some people will feel rejected but equally some women can just enjoy casual sex without it being any more or less than that.

Or AIBU and we are 'wired' differently?

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 15/03/2011 20:53

What type of person would that be then?

JessRabbit · 15/03/2011 20:55

Casual sex .....sigh Envy

carminaburana · 15/03/2011 20:57

What type? - for women I'd say quite hard hearted people - or needy.

indiechick · 15/03/2011 20:58

Any sex .....sigh Envy

rinabean · 15/03/2011 21:00

Oh come on carmina, you know that's not true.

I'd say it's very open and extraverted people who have no hang-ups related to sharing anything with other people, OR people who are totally uptight apart from sexually. Not nasty or weak people! Having casual sex isn't some kind of character flaw.

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 15/03/2011 21:00

Hard hearted or needy? Biscuit

bringonthegoat · 15/03/2011 21:00

LP is not 'ideal' though is it? Confused I come at this as a LP BTW.

I thought 'ideal' was mum & dad - anything else would obviously be acceptable {and better than some mum & dad situ's} but 'ideal' is a different thing isn't it?

expatinscotland · 15/03/2011 21:00

'What type? - for women I'd say quite hard hearted people - or needy.'

Because of course, they can't be just someone who likes having sex for the sex itself.

FFS.

rinabean · 15/03/2011 21:01

Mum and dad isn't ideal, extended family is ideal. Nuclear families aren't healthy at all and shouldn't aspired to.

tyler80 · 15/03/2011 21:01

"there are such things as condoms you know, which handily prevent things like STDs"

I learnt too much Biology at school, learning that condoms only protect against some STDs puts a real downer on casual sex

SlainteBooyFeckingHoo · 15/03/2011 21:03

ideal is what works for each individual family. tehre is no 'one size fits all' ideal for families. each family is as individual as the members within it and what is ideal for next door is not ideal for me. next you will be telling me that it is more ideal if mum and dad were married in a church before their dsc were born. Hmm

SlainteBooyFeckingHoo · 15/03/2011 21:03

never mind families where there is mum and mum or dad and dad. are they not ideal either?

SlainteBooyFeckingHoo · 15/03/2011 21:05

carmina, sex does not have to be emotional to be enjoyable. some of the best sex i have had has been with casual partners or ONS. i am a very warm loving person and not a bit needy thank you.

robotlollypopman · 15/03/2011 21:07

Sex is fun. Full stop. Only religion makes it seem more than it is.

bringonthegoat · 15/03/2011 21:09

Good point - I have a very traditional view of family and have always believed in marriage before DC. AS terms 'ideal', 'acceptable' and 'better' are all different things to me. Ideal for DC to have their mum & dad, better to have one or same sex parents than some 'mum & dad' combos, acceptable to have any type of family. Extended is a nice thing to aspire to for sure.

IsinDeBetterPlace · 15/03/2011 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/03/2011 21:10

Wow there are some judgements being thrown about on here.

carmina - I'm neither hard-hearted or needy.

Consensual sex between 2 adults who both know the situation is purely a recreational activity, it doesn't have to be all deep and meaningful. And yes, deep and meaningful is wonderful with the right person, but it doesn't have to be like that all the time.

delia - you've made the classic mistake of naming love and sex in the same sentence in relation to casual sex. I've never been casual about love - that would be messing with someone's feelings which is an entirely different matter. I have never been unfaithful to anyone and I've never lured anyone into bed with the promise of a relationship when I knew full well I didn't want one.

carminaburana · 15/03/2011 21:11

SBFH - sorry Blush

SeeJaneKick · 15/03/2011 21:14

Lol IsinDeBetter

I was assuming we were talking hetro here.

Slainte yes..sure...aman could imregnate a woman on a one nigth stand and keep the baby that resulted in it.

But how ofen does that happen? Never? Hardly?

I'm sure it HAS happened. But not often.

adamschic · 15/03/2011 21:19

Yes they can and I have, I'm neither hard hearted or needy. I think some people want to believe that the 'type' of women who engage in such behaviour are flawed when it's not true. It's called being judgemental.

I'm also a single parent and no-one has the right to assume that their 'family' is more ideal compared to mine.

expatinscotland · 15/03/2011 21:21

'I was assuming we were talking hetro here.'

Why?

carminaburana · 15/03/2011 21:25

Well we all judge don't we - it's what humans do - we have views and opinions and sometimes they clash.

I wouldn't get upset if someone thought my idea of romantic love was boring shite.

SlainteBooyFeckingHoo · 15/03/2011 21:29

"Slainte yes..sure...aman could imregnate a woman on a one nigth stand and keep the baby that resulted in it.

But how ofen does that happen? Never? Hardly? "

yes because women have a say in whether they put their bodies through a pregnancy or not. if you had read my post properly you would see that i said ONS were a pretty big risk for a man in that he could impregnate a woman and want to keep the baby but he has no control over that. that is the risk.

and goat, i have a very traditional view of family aswell. the tradition that dictates that family looks after family, regardless of whether that be mum, dad, sister, uncle, brother, grandma etc.

it offends me greatly that anyone believes their family is more ideal than mine because they have two adults living in the house rather than one.

TobyLerone · 15/03/2011 21:35

"next you will be telling me that it is more ideal if mum and dad were married in a church before their dsc were born."

Heh. I was married in a church before my children were born. We divorced when our youngest was 2 Grin

StayFrosty · 15/03/2011 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.