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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think women CAN have casual sex?

217 replies

GastonTheLadybird · 15/03/2011 13:10

I have read a few things recently that have said that women and men are essentially wired differently and that women will always feel rejected, cheap and used after casual encounters.

I think this is just as bad as saying that casual sex is empowering etc. For some people it will be, and some people will feel rejected but equally some women can just enjoy casual sex without it being any more or less than that.

Or AIBU and we are 'wired' differently?

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/03/2011 21:35

carmina - what makes you think I don't believe (for want of a better word) in romantic love too? Confused

majordanjarvis · 15/03/2011 21:39

Of course women can have casual sex.

FWIW, I and most men I've ever met are very grateful to the large number of women that share these liberated attitudes towards casual sex - I've certainly had more than my fair share of them!! Grin

SlainteBooyFeckingHoo · 15/03/2011 21:40

there we have it!! toby is proof that church weddings are not the 'ideal' way to start a family. Grin i propose a new ideal to make people feel guilty for not conforming. (either through choice or circumstance) i propose that anyone who doesn't have a tattoo of a yellow rose and hasn't been to alaska is falling short of the 'ideal' criteria to be a parent.

Hmm
Gay40 · 15/03/2011 21:46

It's the people who think sex and love are indistinguishable that are weird.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/03/2011 21:47

Gay - yes exactly.

TobyLerone · 15/03/2011 21:49

"It's the people who think sex and love are indistinguishable that are weird."

This should be printed on a t-shirt.

carminaburana · 15/03/2011 21:50

I suppose it depends on how much casual sex you've had and your attitude towards it - I would definitely be put off someone if i knew they'd had lots of sexual partners - in fact I wouldn't touch them with a barge pole.

allsquareknickersnofurcoat · 15/03/2011 21:51

Gay - [like]

TobyLerone · 15/03/2011 21:52

It's often the people who have a lot of casual sex who can be trusted the most to be careful with their sexual health.

rinabean · 15/03/2011 21:52

Oh fuck off. For me, sex is linked to love. I'm not weird. I don't think you're weird for not feeling the same so you could at least be polite.

rinabean · 15/03/2011 21:53

Well, ok, I am weird, but that's not what makes me so.

SlainteBooyFeckingHoo · 15/03/2011 21:55

is that because you would feel intimidated by their previous partners' 'abilities' carmina?

adamschic · 15/03/2011 21:56

Rina, have you tried sex without love? Grin

I would never judge anyone who thought differently to me and I like the idea of romantic love, have experienced it a few times but don't think it's vital to be happy or raise a child sucessfully.

carminaburana · 15/03/2011 21:57

It's not cool of edgy to sleep around ( most woman who do are not great looking ime )

It's actually a bit embarrassing.

expatinscotland · 15/03/2011 21:58

'It's not cool of edgy to sleep around ( most woman who do are not great looking ime )

It's actually a bit embarrassing.'

PMSL.

SlainteBooyFeckingHoo · 15/03/2011 21:59

who on earth said it was cool or edgy? Confused

why is it embarassing and what exactly is it about casyual sex that you think affects a woman's phyiscal appearnce?

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 15/03/2011 22:00
rinabean · 15/03/2011 22:01

adamschic, I haven't because I never wanted to. Now I'm in a monogamous relationship (with the first and only person I've slept with) and hope to remain that way. I'm fairly sure that out of a dozen alternate mes at least a few would enjoy casual sex, but not this one! The circumstances were never right.

carmina you are being ridiculous, stop it. Of course it's not cool or edgy, it's quite normal!

SeeJaneKick · 15/03/2011 22:01

SLainte...OF COURSE he has control over it. He can wear a condom.

I just think that sex isn't a casual thing...it's not. It's the most intimate 2 people can get. Sharing bodies and fluids and all that. It's not something which personally could o with someone I had no kowledge of and I don't think it's healthy for ANYONE...male or female to indulge in it on a regular basis.

s for "Fuck buddies" people who maintain friendships and still indulge in sex...well they're just refusing to commit to one another for their own reasons. Why wouldn't they commit?

I can't think of any reason apart from perhaps they are untrustowrthy or that they don't really like the other person enough physically or mentally.

TobyLerone · 15/03/2011 22:01

Wow.

adamschic · 15/03/2011 22:01

PMSL at Carmina, is it just the women who engage in casual sex that aren't good looking or does that apply to men?

rinabean · 15/03/2011 22:03

SeeJaneKick, what is unhealthy about casual sex on a regular basis?! If you are using protection and get tested I'm quite sure you won't die of it.

And what's wrong with not wanting to commit? Some people enjoy freedom more than being settled. It's no more wrong or unhealthy than people who are always moving home. It's just different. Doesn't make them "untrustworthy"!

SeeJaneKick · 15/03/2011 22:04

I am interested to know who is married or in a commited relationship and who also feels that sex and love don't belong together ALL the time...

I am married. I am wondering if this affects my view.

supersewer · 15/03/2011 22:04

I am the proud owner of only one sexual partner, married to someone who has only had 2 other partners before me. So neither of us are up for casual sex. I appreciate that I've not got anything to compare with but after 15 years I still have no desire to go down the casual route - I like knowing my partner!!

PeterAndreForPM · 15/03/2011 22:04

Carmina...you have been watching too much Jeremy Kyle Grin