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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not cutting up grapes for my DD's 3rd Birthday party?

211 replies

cookinmama · 31/01/2011 21:51

It was my DD's birthday party at the weekend, I laid on a fab spread of food for the kids, ham & cheese sandwiches, mini sausages, some monster munch (DD's favourite) and some fruit namely Strawberries and grapes. Was a bit taken a back though when one of the other mum's grabbed the bowl of grapes away from her child, causing a bit of a tantrum and was then shocked to hear her tell her child that they weren't allowed them as they were not cut up. Hmm So should I have cut them in half or was the other mum being a bit PFB?

OP posts:
traceybath · 31/01/2011 21:52

I'm pretty lax but do tend to cut up grapes for small children as so easy to choke on.

LadyBiscuit · 31/01/2011 21:53

I haven't cut up grapes since my DS was about 18 months. Think that's a bit of an overreaction on her part (but I know some people think I'm a bit cavalier)

bumpsoon · 31/01/2011 21:54

Well there have been the odd very rare occasion where a child has choked on a whole grape . I would imagine a three year old would be able to bite it into bits with ease though

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 31/01/2011 21:54

Why didn't she quietly ask you for a knife and cut them up herself.

pigletmania · 31/01/2011 21:54

Its not pfb at all, my dd is nearly 4 and i would cut them up for her. It is easy for children to choke on grapes, better to be safe than sorry.

GreenEyesandHam · 31/01/2011 21:54

I got round this issue with mine by biting each grape in half before passing one half to the child.

Bit knackering for a kids party I grant you

rosie1979 · 31/01/2011 21:54

Why did the mum not cut them up?

Grapes are supposed to be exactly the right shape to cause a child to choke so with other peoples children I would probably cut them.

LaWeaselMys · 31/01/2011 21:55

I don't.

(but I'm a bit cavalier seeming too)

GwendolineMaryLacey · 31/01/2011 21:55

I do cut up grapes for my 3yo but she knows well to bite them if she finds a whole one. Mum was being a bit pfb and could have been more subtle.

pigletmania · 31/01/2011 21:55

I would not have overracted like that though, would have asked quietly for a knife, or bitten it in half myself with my teeth. I am lucky as dd does not like them.

LaWeaselMys · 31/01/2011 21:56

What I don't understand is why - when they are not old enough to understand, you don't just teach them to bite half off before they eat the rest instead of faffing with cutting them up for years and years.

curlymama · 31/01/2011 21:58

I was asked by my 3yo's preschool to only send in chopped up grapes because of the choking risk that presented itself when ds thought it would be fun to try and suck one in. Nearly gave the teacher a heart attack by all accounts. It hadn't occured to me to worry as he always chewed them up no problem at home.

I think if you are providing food for a group of very small children that are not going to be directly supervised, you should cut up grapes.

Original poster
cookinmama · 31/01/2011 21:58

I am glad I am not the only cavalier parent out there, so if you are still cutting up grapes for a a child of 3 when do you stop?

OP posts:
LaWeaselMys · 31/01/2011 21:58

sorry eroneous not there. Should be "when they are old enough to understand" obviously.

Herecomesthesciencebint · 31/01/2011 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

McDreamy · 31/01/2011 21:59

I think they should have been cut up but then I am a bit sensitive as I know of a child that did choke on one. Sad DD had her 8th birthday party at the weekend and I cut her grapes up, not so much because of the 8 year olds but because there were much younger children there too.

parakeet · 31/01/2011 22:01

You no longer cut up grapes, she still does. On the face of it I don't think that makes either of you unreasonable.

No-one chooses to "make" their child have a tantrum, especially at a birthday party. She probably snatched the bowl away so fast because she thought he was about to eat one.

[PS - I stopped cutting up grapes at about 18 months too.]

bafanatheSober · 31/01/2011 22:02

I cant believe you wouldn't cut up grapes, next you will be telling us that you gave them undiluted fruit juice!!

Plonker · 31/01/2011 22:02

I cut them in half for my 3yo. She's my third, so not pfb at all.

I don't see it as a hassle or faff to cut them up, takes seconds.

I wouldn't have made a fuss at a party though, I would have just sat beside dd and reminded her to bite them in half before eating them.

bubblewrapped · 31/01/2011 22:02

18 months yes, 3 yrs old.. no way. I would expect a 3yr old to be able to eat a grape without it being cut up tbh.

stoppinchingthedummy · 31/01/2011 22:02

Always cut grapes ..they are not only the perfect size for choking but they fill the windpipe with no gaps making it impossible to get it own or get air past it!! I wont take the risk for the sake of cutting them in half and i react the same a parties where my dd 2 could get hold of a whole grape!

parakeet · 31/01/2011 22:03

Blimey, I'm considering a return to cutting up grapes after all these choking stories...

McDreamy · 31/01/2011 22:03

The child that choked was 3.5 btw

parakeet · 31/01/2011 22:04

...And my children are 18 and 21...

traceybath · 31/01/2011 22:04

I guess the thing with a 3 year old's party is that its pretty likely there would be younger siblings there too hence I would have cut them up.