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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not cutting up grapes for my DD's 3rd Birthday party?

211 replies

cookinmama · 31/01/2011 21:51

It was my DD's birthday party at the weekend, I laid on a fab spread of food for the kids, ham & cheese sandwiches, mini sausages, some monster munch (DD's favourite) and some fruit namely Strawberries and grapes. Was a bit taken a back though when one of the other mum's grabbed the bowl of grapes away from her child, causing a bit of a tantrum and was then shocked to hear her tell her child that they weren't allowed them as they were not cut up. Hmm So should I have cut them in half or was the other mum being a bit PFB?

OP posts:
working9while5 · 02/02/2011 09:23

Oh dear, I never knew about grapes! I have been feeding them to my one year old this week! Blush. I have never given him raw apple or carrot because I knew these were a concern, but not grapes..

What are you supposed to do with sausages? I make a lot of sausagey type things from the Annabel Karmel book - is there a trick to cutting them? Confused

begonyabampot · 02/02/2011 09:27

working -

now you do know - you can change that - it's up to you.

WorzselMummage · 02/02/2011 09:29

I'm pretty lax as a parent about most things but I always cut up grapes for my 2 year old and while my 6 year old has them whole she has to sit down to eat them. I probably stopped chopping hers around 4 1/2.

After reading about that poor child dying silently in the trolly seat in a supermarket after choking on a grape somone had given her I decider that you cannot be to careful. Can you imagine that happening to your child ?!

I choked on a bit of steak a couple of years ago, it was fucking terrifying.

Quenelle · 02/02/2011 09:40

I don't think DS has grapes but I often give him whole cherry tomatoes. I will be cutting them up from now on after reading some of these posts.

I've always been quite relaxed about the food I give DS. I did an infant first aid course when he started solids so that I felt more confident that I'd know what to do in an emergency. But how could I ever forgive myself if the worst happened and it was because I had been careless?

There was no mention of grapes or cherry tomatoes on the course though. The only hazard I vividly remember them describing was those little stools that boys stand on to reach the toilet.

working9while5 · 02/02/2011 09:40

Begony - obviously Hmm. Not sure what the point of your comment is, really.

sheepgomeep · 02/02/2011 09:44

gemsy I can't believe the attitudes on here either. If you have ever had a choking child especially on something like food then its really frightening.

And as for a particular poster saying hahahahaha pbf cutting up grapes for a 3 year old Hmm I have 4 dc and I will cut up grapes tomatoes for how long I see fit.

speedy I hope to god your child never chokes on grapes, tomatoes etc, its horrible

mrsgetonwithit · 02/02/2011 09:47

Not read the whole thread but did you cut up the monster munch cause those bad boys can be huge...lol

sheepgomeep · 02/02/2011 09:48

my 9 month old choked on apple the the other day, she went blue, before I slapped her on the back and it came out.

But the most frightening thing was the speed and the silence in which she did it.

If I hadn't been there....

putthekettleon · 02/02/2011 09:57

oh god this thread has scared me... grapes are one of the few fruits 2.9 yo DD1 will eat at the moment and I often leave her alone with a bowl of them (in fact she had some for breakfast this morning). Haven't cut them up since she was about 12 months, I even served them whole at her 2nd birthday party!

I am now suitably freaked out to go back to chopping them Confused

BornToFolk · 02/02/2011 10:12

I've just stopped cutting up tomatoes/grapes for 3 year old DS but I'm going to start again...I know that kids can choke on anything (DS got a piece of strawberry stuck, and had to be thumped on the back when he was about 2.5, and I vividly remember nearly choking on banana when I was at primary school) but it makes sense to reduce the risks if you can.

What's the deal with nuts? I know technically they are not supposed to have whole nuts until 5 years old but I can't see that they are any more dangerous than, say, a piece of veg a similar size. DS likes to have whole almonds and we always insist that he sits down to eat and is supervised. Is that really such a risk?

Healthyeater · 02/02/2011 10:16

Lots off food for thought here (sorry) all very sobering - I stopped cutting up grapes when mine were pretty young, about 2 I think. However, they do all know to bite before they eat & they have always understood the reason why it's so important.

Think party Mum should have been a whole lot more subtle.

(Oh and can someone tell my why I've spent an hour reading this post when my house looks like it's been burgled??)

looblylu · 02/02/2011 12:15

DD was taught to bite grapes in half not just shove the whole thing in her mouth.
She managed to accomplish this before she was 2.

If that mother wanted the grapes cut up im sure just asking would have been better than causing a scene

deaconblue · 02/02/2011 12:19

I always cut grapes up and would have taken dd's away while I cut them up or bit them in half. But I certainly wouldn't have made a scene about it either. It's the grape skin that makes them so lethal if they get swallowed whole, I wouldn't take the risk with dd or anyone's else's kids.

Nefret · 02/02/2011 12:28

I haven't cut up grapes since my girls were very little so I would have put them whole too. However if I didn't want my child to eat whole grapes I would have just either cut them myslef if there was a knife around or broken them in half. I certainly wouldn't have caused a scene about it.

tralalala · 02/02/2011 12:34

told by a paramedic that grapes are one of the really hard things to dislodge if stuff and because of shape really close airway,

jellybeans · 02/02/2011 12:47

Hotdogs and grapes are some of the worst. As the skin is flexible/mouldable it can go down and then 'fill out' in the windpipe/throat and the thing is then totally jammed. Alot of cases involve sausages so i cut my DSs up till they were school age as one was a choker. Hotdogs and grapes should be cut lengthways. If something wedges really deeply, even with proper help the child may die :( Not worth the risk surely.

Coconutfeet · 02/02/2011 13:02

I've not cut up grapes for my ds (2.4) for a while now as I din't realise they were so risky. Blush Will definitely start to do so from now on.

bubblewrapped · 02/02/2011 13:20

I think it would be safer to teach your child to bite a grape before putting the whole thing in its mouth. That way, if anyone else offers your child a grape, and you arent around to cut it up, the child knows how to eat it safely.

ThePosieParker · 02/02/2011 13:22

Someone else's child's life is not mine to risk and would cut up grapes.....small children die of choking on grapes.

PercyPigPie · 02/02/2011 13:42

Gemsy83 I'm with you. I hate this cavalier attitude too. I remember having a bit of an argument with DC's nursery who didn't cut grapes and clearly thought I was barmy when I mentioned it.

I just don't get people who are cavalier about their children's safety. I remember this attitude last year too when swine flu was first around - there were a whole load of parents calling other people precious. One year on and everyone is crying that there is no vaccine around because people didn't generally take up the vaccine for children at rist last year.

LouMacca · 02/02/2011 13:53

YABU. I would definitely cut up grapes for a 3 year olds party. Sorry but I would have done the same as the mum at the party.

tanmu82 · 02/02/2011 14:16

I don't remember ever cutting up grapes for my first two.... it didn't even occur to me to. dc3 is not yet on solids, but I am suitably scared now to do so! I googled 'child dies after choking on grape' and loads of stories from around the world came up.... will def be cutting them in half from now on - lengthways I might add, because width ways, they would pose a greater problem of removing I would imagine....

parsley3 · 02/02/2011 14:18

Yes I still cut up grapes in my dc3's lunchbox she's 6 - bit paranoid I know but I remember choking on an uncooked jelly cube I'd nicked from the kitchen when I was 8. It lodged in my throat like a rubber bung. I could not get any air past it and I was passing out. My Dad hung me up by my feet , thumped me in the back and it shot out, lucky he was there.It was the most frightening experience and I remember it like it was yesterday.(Going back to original post though ,the mother could have bit or cut the grape up herself without causing a big hoo-haa)

Gemsy83 · 02/02/2011 14:23

A local girl died from having sausage lodged in her windpipe. The story in the paper was heartbreaking, her parents were frantic, everyone tried their hardest but it just did not move. I know its not a grape but they both have potential to KILL a child easier than many here think. If that makes me precious, idiotic or whatever then so be it, I will happily lessen one very real risk of my daughter choking to death ta very much.

PercyPigPie · 02/02/2011 14:27

Parsley - I read about a child choking to death on a jelly cube too Sad