Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not cutting up grapes for my DD's 3rd Birthday party?

211 replies

cookinmama · 31/01/2011 21:51

It was my DD's birthday party at the weekend, I laid on a fab spread of food for the kids, ham & cheese sandwiches, mini sausages, some monster munch (DD's favourite) and some fruit namely Strawberries and grapes. Was a bit taken a back though when one of the other mum's grabbed the bowl of grapes away from her child, causing a bit of a tantrum and was then shocked to hear her tell her child that they weren't allowed them as they were not cut up. Hmm So should I have cut them in half or was the other mum being a bit PFB?

OP posts:
MegBusset · 31/01/2011 22:04

I always cut them up at home for the DC (21mo and nearly 4), have occasionally been at a party or someone's house where uncut grapes have been offered. In that scenario I always bite them in half for DS2, with DS1 I would probably let him have them uncut but would hover anxiously nearby making sure he chewed!

bafanatheSober · 31/01/2011 22:05

lol parakeet Grin

backwardpossom · 31/01/2011 22:06

I stopped cutting up grapes for DS when he was 12 months! But, I'm not ever going to win any mother of the year awards... DS is currently sporting a black eye, split lip, cut chin, scraped nose and bruised forehead... All done in the last 3 days. Confused

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 31/01/2011 22:07

I don't cut them for DS (2.6) anymore - I just hand him a bunch and he eats them.

I always sit with him though, whereas I will pop in and out of the room while he's eating most other things.

Original poster
cookinmama · 31/01/2011 22:07

lol at parakeet, I must admit have never really chopped up grapes but DD did start off by biting them in half when she first started having them. So had never really given it a second thought.

Bafana why are you meant to dilute fruit juice?

OP posts:
mamatomany · 31/01/2011 22:07

I still cut grapes for my 6 year old.

eeky · 31/01/2011 22:09

I am pretty cavalier about big pieces of food, but I do cut up grapes - our dcs are 2.9 and 1.4. I will be cutting them up even for the older one for a couple of years probably. along with cherry tomatoes.

COI: I'm a doctor (a gynaecologist, grant you, so wrong end really) but pretty much every anaesthetist I know has a story of unsuccessfully trying to resuscitate a child that has choked on a whole grape. Heartbreaking.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 31/01/2011 22:09

I heard that choking incidents are more common in over 5s as that is when people relax more...

monkeyjamtart · 31/01/2011 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pissedrightoff · 31/01/2011 22:12

I'm totally paranoid about grapes, and sausages, and well everything really.

But the woman at the party should have just cut up the grapes rather thatn making a big deal about it.

girliefriend · 31/01/2011 22:12

I saw a mum do this at a party as well and was quite shocked surprised. I've always just told my dd to bite into the grape before sticking it in her mouth, which she does automatically now. I wouldn't want to make her fearful of a healthy food.

backwardpossom · 31/01/2011 22:12

Eek, I think I'll go back to cutting them up!

KaraStarbuckThrace · 31/01/2011 22:12

Cookimama - fruit juice is quite acidic and full of fruit sugars so not great for teeth.

traceybath · 31/01/2011 22:12

Yes I think it was reading a piece by India Knight in the times about children choking on grapes that gave me the fear and I am seriously not normally precious about such stuff.

mamatomany · 31/01/2011 22:13

I've heard that grapes are the exact size of the wind pipe up to 10 years and nothing will dislodge it.
My 8 year old choked on a fruitstring she hadn't chewed properly at Christmas, I literally had her by the ankles whilst DH stuck his hand down her throat, something like that would have soured the party atmosphere for sure.

BluddyMoFo · 31/01/2011 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CameronCook · 31/01/2011 22:15

I still cut them for DD (7yo) - a friend who works in A&E fought unusccessfully to save a school age child who choked on a grape. Sad

Grapes get themselves wedged in the wind pipe and don't easily shift as you can't get a grip on them. I'm sure someone once said that the skin on grapes makes it hard for them to dislodge as well?

MyLifeIsChaotic · 31/01/2011 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LaWeaselMys · 31/01/2011 22:17

I do understand that choking is horrible, and I see the point that there were probably small children around.

But surely it is much better for your child to know to automatically bite into every grape before they swallow from a young age than to one day suddenly stop cutting them in half and expect them to get on with it correctly.

schoolsecretary · 31/01/2011 22:17

My dd best friend choked on a whole grape last year, didnt budge with hymlick (sp?) and she ended up in hosp for 2 days, she was 8 at the time. Am now paranoid about grapes.

LaWeaselMys · 31/01/2011 22:18

It just seems really counter productive.

traceybath · 31/01/2011 22:19

I think LaWeasel its just a case of waiting until you feel your child is old/sensible enough to always bite into them and that varies.

So at a party for a 3 year old I would personally cater to the lowest common denominator.

Original poster
cookinmama · 31/01/2011 22:20

But surely kids can choke on most foods, shouldn't we just be encouraging our kids to sit down to eat and to chew their food properly?

OP posts:
ChippingInSmellyCheeseFreak · 31/01/2011 22:20

No, I wouldn't cut them up for a 3 year olds party unless I knew there were going to be much younger siblings there as well.

I certainly wouldn't have made a fuss at a party, I'd have either bitten or squished them if the child was tiny or reminded the child to bite them if they were used to having them cut up.

Original poster
cookinmama · 31/01/2011 22:22

traceybath I thought I was catering for the lowest denominator, thought that as DD has always bitten them in half first that would be the way that kids would be taught to deal with grapes, cherry toms etc

OP posts: