Not cutting up grapes for my DD's 3rd Birthday party?

[cookinmama]

It was my DD's birthday party at the weekend, I laid on a fab spread of food for the kids, ham & cheese sandwiches, mini sausages, some monster munch (DD's favourite) and some fruit namely Strawberries and grapes. Was a bit taken a back though when one of the other mum's grabbed the bowl of grapes away from her child, causing a bit of a tantrum and was then shocked to hear her tell her child that they weren't allowed them as they were not cut up. So should I have cut them in half or was the other mum being a bit PFB?

It was. Dd had a friend over for tea and she was traumatised. Dd is normally really ggod and will bite them but she was laughing with her friend one minute and eyes bulging the next. I feel sick just thinking about it.

Sorry, that was a bit graphic.

Cutting up grapes for 7 and 8yr olds? When exactly are they going to be trusted to eat sensibly then?

I take it you don't follow them to school and hover over them in the lunch hall..making sure they chew every mouthful of food 32 times before swallowing?

My nephew choked on a 2 pence piece aged 6 but he's still allowed pocket money.

mutznutz I am usually the last person on earth to waffle about swaddling up young children but in this instance I do- and I don't care.

Of course, 7 & 8 year olds are capable of biting and chewing up pieces of food. And of being aware of not trying to chow down on 2p pieces and rubber balls. But the problem is that grapes are in fact, handily shaped littled oesophagus-stoppers, meant to be popped in the mouth without thought.

Like I said, when they stop grazing their knees or just being total numpties, I'll feel a bit better lol

I?ve never cut grapes, my eldest when she was going through the BLW stage would hand back the skins having cleaned them. She has chronic constipation that?s medicated daily and I?ve never restricted grapes because of it. I?ve seen her go to the kitchen get the grapes and sit munching her way through the bag. The youngest has never been as bothered with grapes.

Schoolsecretary the Heimlich is not for 8 year olds, I?m not surprised it didn?t work on a child it was probably as dangerous as the grape. It?s not even taught in first aid anymore (I was a Cadet last time I practiced it) because it?s dangerous if not done properly, it?s just even more dangerous on children.

Well, yes, the Heimlich is usually not recommended in children of that age, but presumably watching your child expire in front of your eyes with a blocked airway is fairly dangerous too, confuddled? If a child is about to die then a Heimlich is better than nothing. I can assure you that it may not be taught in your particular first aid classes, but that it is certainly a recognised method of resuscitation. Very brave of the person concerned to try, whereas presumably you would have done nothing in case it was "too dangerous"?

My few experiences of unsuccessfully resuscitating children in A&E have ensured I do cut up grapes as they are the perfect size and shape of a child's trachea - other food of a different shape, size or texture just doesn't have the same risk.

Ladybiscuit - my ds did exactly that too. I was loading the washing machine and he was tapping my back, I didn't immediately turn round as I thought he was just playing and when I did he was practically blue with one of those bloody snake things dangling out He was fine but shaken up.

I attend Great Ormond Street Hospital with my child and see a specialist in feeding/reflux/choking issues.

She has always said to me that ALL children up to the age of FOUR years old should have grapes and cherry tomatoes cut up.

That's because just like we can choke and cough suddenly at a meal on something after eating for 30 odd years, so can they. Grapes and cherry tomatoes are major causes of choking because when a child bites into one, occasionally there is a squirt of liquid that goes backwards and hits the throat. This causes a reflex that makes us breath in suddenly, which causes the food item to be sucked into the windpipe. If it's a whole grape, it's the perfect size for a pre-schooler to stick in their windpipe with no air getting round it. And they choke.

She says she has seen so many cases of normal healthy children of three or four choking to death on grapes, or getting brain damage from the lack of oxygen, or having had half their lung removed where the child has aspirated the food item.

So, no, I don't think your friend was over reacting. She was probably p*ssed off that a mother of a young child has left whole grapes out and wanted to let you know it. Not all children are "as good" as your child at eating, and some mothers know about choking dangers of grapes. I'm sorry to say that I actually think it's stupid, bordering on negligent, to give a party for three year olds (where some will still be two years old, or some will be younger siblings) and to provide whole grapes within their reach.

Sorry, but that's having spoken to one of the top specialists in the UK on this topic, and she always says to tell all my friends not to let toddlers eat whole grapes, even if they have been doing so for months.

I cut up grapes for my 5yo. And any other child that's visiting. Grapes are windpipe sized. Choking is horrible. I understand the risk of choking and the consequences and have made an informed decision.

I'm not taking the risk with my child and have taken whole grapes away from my 5yo at a 5th birthday party. I can do what I like with my child. My kids climb trees, use scissors, bounce on trampolines, go swimming, play with mud and run around at stupid speeds in the playground. They don't have whole grapes or cherry tomatoes though. So YABU, OP.

Christ, I have never cut up a grape in my life. DD1 is 6 now and has munched through many grapes in her time with now ill effect.

I never knew it could be a problem. I will go and sit in the dunce's corner.

I still cut up grapes for my 4yo DS and 2yo DD. Will continue to do it for a few years yet.

With Nicdigby on this one. I think its pretty sill to give 2/3 year olds whole grapes at a party

Agree with Nicdigby - I think of myself as pretty relaxed but do always chop up grapes. The "never did me any harm brigade" will come out in force and yes it probably will all be fine but in the odd case when it isnt the outcome is so awful its surely worth taking the 90 seconds requred to chop the sodding things up. I can see why the mother was pissed off think she was rude to show it though.

I have never cut up grapes, ever. Oops!

Hmmm, if parents are going to be at a party I sort of see them as responsible for their kids ie to bite grapes before they give them to them if they wish to or to not let them have them.

If it's just or mainly kids, I'd feel responsible and probably wouldn't serve them along with nuts tbh. Very vigilant about burst balloons too, if babies are around.

Other mum could have been more subtle, but I think she was fair enough (and probably didn't mean it as a criticism of you either).

I cut grapes for my 2 yr old DD. She scoffs food quite greedily and I am paranoid patty about choking hazards.

I was all ready to YANBU - I've never cut up grapes for my LO - she's had them since she was about 9 months - having read these stories I will start tomorrow

I'm pretty well up on the first aid laws having been involved in the ambulance for 17 years, so it concerns me that there may be people out there teaching it when it's not been taught for about 15 years. In a hospital maybe, but not first aid.

The Heimlich, even when it was a legitimate part of first aid, should have only ever been done by someone trained to do it and only as a last resort when slaps don't work and only once. Too many people think watching Robin Williams doing a million in a restuarant in a movie is enough to know what to do.

A child can choke on any piece of food if they choose not to chew it. I haven't cut my sons grapes for months now and he is only 14 months. Didn't see the point when he started grabbing them out of fruit bowl and chomping them in bits quite happily. Teeth are marvelous things
I've seen more kids in A and E that have swallowed coins/batteries/small toys than I have ever seen a child choking on food.

Although thinking about maybe it's because he's too small for it to be a choking prob now where as two year old will have a bigger oesphagus. I'll start cutting them back up again.

Great thread.

So, if grapes are such a choke risk why is there no labelling ?

I think grapes need halved. Very common cause of choking cause of size and shape, as discussed.

I still think cutting food up for an 8 year old is way OTT.

Cutting up grapes for 3 year olds?? HAHAHAHAHA!! oh, yes, definitely PFB. A child should be able to handle a whole grape by that age - they should be eating everything. My DD IS 8 months and manages chick peas, blueberries, bread, pasta, fish...almost everything we eat. I'd give her blardy Biltong if it weren't so salty !

FWIW young kids can choke on anything - I know a baby who choked to the point of fainting...on breastmilk. It wasn't the milk that was bad for her, I assure you!

The Heimlich, even when it was a legitimate part of first aid, should have only ever been done by someone trained to do it and only as a last resort when slaps don't work and only once.

..........

So what should you do then? Presumably not just watch as someone dies...