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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not cutting up grapes for my DD's 3rd Birthday party?

211 replies

cookinmama · 31/01/2011 21:51

It was my DD's birthday party at the weekend, I laid on a fab spread of food for the kids, ham & cheese sandwiches, mini sausages, some monster munch (DD's favourite) and some fruit namely Strawberries and grapes. Was a bit taken a back though when one of the other mum's grabbed the bowl of grapes away from her child, causing a bit of a tantrum and was then shocked to hear her tell her child that they weren't allowed them as they were not cut up. Hmm So should I have cut them in half or was the other mum being a bit PFB?

OP posts:
QuickLookBusy · 04/02/2011 16:58

Well that is probably why you don't use a stairgate. Our behaviour is informed by our experiences? So going back to the OP, all those posters ridiculing the woman who wouldn't let her child eat a whole grape, maybe she has a personal experience which means she not happy for her DC to have a whole grape?
Ridiculing her or anyone who chooses to cut up a grape is cruel.

SpeedyGonzalez · 04/02/2011 20:39

Quick - I've been thinking about your stairs story. Clearly my previous reply was caught up in the ins and outs of child safety and I missed the point: that is a terrible, tragic story. Your poor friend and child. Sad. That must have been an unusually severe fall to cause brain damage.

One of the children I know fell down about 15 stone steps when the gate was left open by another child - I think with other children in the house gates can create a false sense of safety, as children can easily leave them open without their parents knowing. Anyway, this child did sustain a severe-looking injury but it all settled quickly and he was left with nothing but a minuscule scar. He's recently completed his PhD, so his fall clearly had no ill effects.

The other kids did the classic 'bounce' thing - they fell in a relaxed posture and so were not injured. One of these could climb to the top of an adult ladder at 17 months.

You're right when you say that our experience informs our choices (and I did apologise on this thread for laughing - I had actually only read the OP when I wrote that post). At the same time I think our personalities lead us to calculate risk in different ways.

QuickLookBusy · 04/02/2011 21:17

Speedy I think you are right about the personalities leading to calculating risks differently. I see that in my 2 DDs, they have been brought up exactly the same [me being pretty paronoid, I admit]. DD1 is the same as me Sad, DD2 is exactly the opposite and in the summer is going on a 5 week hiking trip to south America.
She's very laid back and really enjoys lifeEnvy

I just see danger everywhere. My friends call me "Mrs Health and Safety"Blush

SpeedyGonzalez · 04/02/2011 21:24

Grin You and my DH would get on well! I am trying to persuade him that having diverse opinions on this stuff is good for the DCs...! Think he's gradually coming round as I've persuaded him not to put up stairgates. And I've just bought locks for kitchen chemicals cupboard - so I'm not totally careless! Grin

Glad we're on better terms now Smile.

Oblomov · 04/02/2011 21:25

Have never cut up grapes. Assume that children can chew.

SpeedyGonzalez · 04/02/2011 21:25

Hope your DD enjoys her trip.

Envy

Does she need a Spanish speaker to accompany her?

Grin
Mooshie · 04/02/2011 21:38

I cut up EVERYTHING for my daughter who is 2 and a half. I have a phobia about choking which for some odd reason really seems to irk people, so much so that they go out of their way to give her things that are in my opinion, choking hazards just to 'prove' to me that she can manage them. I dont think the poster is being unreasonable, its common sense really and i dont think any child is going to object if the grapes arent whole!

SpeedyGonzalez · 04/02/2011 21:46

Mooshie - interesting that you have a phobia. Do you know whether you choked or witnessed someone choking when you were very small?

pikachu999 · 04/02/2011 21:46

I used to chop grapes in half for DD (PFB) but up to 2 years of age, not 3. Then I would only chop or bite big grapes in half for DS1. With DS2 (poor neglected third child), he's always got them whole like his siblings Blush. I still would not leave him alone with grapes, and therefore at a kids party with lots of parents around I would think YANBU to put them out whole, and parents should deal with them however they need to.

bitsnbobs · 04/02/2011 21:49

After seeing ds choke on a piece of satsuma I have since cut grapes/big fruit in half ever since. Will probably still be doing it when hes 15 Grin

JingleMum · 04/02/2011 21:51

Mooshie - i am exactly the same as you (my DD is only 16 months though) people have got a real problem with it for some reason?

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