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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be speechless at this behaviour?

216 replies

Smuddy81 · 17/01/2011 14:54

My DH and DS (15months) were visiting the church where my father is vicar yesterday and as it was his 60th birthday there was fizz and cake after the service for all the congregation. My dad was having a great time and loved showing off his only grandchild to his flock (it was so lovely actually) but as he was talking to a couple of ladies from the church one of them had been coo-ing over DS and all of a sudden shoved a huge chunk of cake into his mouth!

I was at a distance looking on and wasnt able to get there in time to ask her what the hell she was doing but to say I was shocked was an understatement! I actually shrieked!

I have a few issues with this and tell me if IABU but surely having food shoved in your mouth when you're not expecting it (and even if you are) is a basic human rights violation! Also, what if he had an allergy she wasnt aware of. I let him have a bit of cake every now and again so thats not an issue but she even ask my dad if he was allowed any, she just shoved it in!

I'm sure DS didnt really mind although he was a bit taken aback! (He's BLW'd too so never really has anyone put food in his mouth for him!)

Maybe I've blown it out of all proportion but I was so shocked! She was an older lady if that's relevant? Is this just what they do!?

AIBU?

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 17/01/2011 14:55

You have said so yourself -you have blown it out of all proportion. Relax.

pookamoo · 17/01/2011 14:55

Older ladies do seem to do this. My aunt tried the same with DD. She bit her. Grin

What did your dad do?
How did they react to your shriek?

(I'm sure people will say you are being PFB, but I can totally see where you're coming from!)

pjmama · 17/01/2011 14:56

It was only a bit of cake, get a grip woman! Grin

LaurieFairyonthetreeEatsCake · 17/01/2011 14:56

wouldn't bother me at 15 months - he could have grabbed it himself couldn't he?

If he had allergies then I presume you would be particularly careful round food as he could grab it at any time.

Did he like it?

cobbledtogether · 17/01/2011 14:58

"surely having food shoved in your mouth when you're not expecting it (and even if you are) is a basic human rights violation"

hang on...hang on...just checking the Human Rights charter...Nope, sorry. Daft old ladies giving toddlers cake is not a violation.

Is it your first born by the way? No reason....

Oh, and YABU - one for the total overreaction and two for likening what she did to real human rights violations.

Get a grip.

DameShirleyKnot · 17/01/2011 14:58

Your DS had his human rights violated.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 17/01/2011 14:58

very PFB and totally out of proportion. can't believe you shrieked!! chill.

FetchezLaVache · 17/01/2011 14:58

I actually think YANBU, I would have freaked. But then I am incredibly PFB, so you're not necessarily vindicated... Grin

TattyDevine · 17/01/2011 14:59

YABU

Ooopsadaisy · 17/01/2011 15:00

Older Mums do this.

My DP's mother gave my son a chocolate button at 7 weeks. Just shoved it in.

This was over a decade ago when weening began at about 12 weeks rather than the 6 months or whatever they reckon it should be now, but even so you don't ween with chocolate do you?

I was apoplectic at the time but he's still alive and perfectly healthy.

She also smokes while holding babies too.

I did have her up on that one though and told her it was not on.

pagwatch · 17/01/2011 15:01

you are being unreasonable but, for calling old lady giving small child some cake a human rights violation, I find I love you a little bit.

[bless]

Grin
mamsnet · 17/01/2011 15:01

Now, where do I start on how OTT you are being?!?!?!?

Flisspaps · 17/01/2011 15:01

If old ladies will shove cake in my mouth then I'll start going to church.

YABU Wink

GandalfyCarawak · 17/01/2011 15:02

Human rights?

I suggest you check out UNICEF's website to see some real victims of human rights violation. You're being offensive.

Misfitless · 17/01/2011 15:02

YANBU, I would be annoyed. I also hate the way old women insist on touching babies' faces and hands. They even do it to tiny newborns. I'm not precious about cleanliness or OCD or germs or anything but it has always made me cringe when it's happened to my DCs.

mrsmindcontrol · 17/01/2011 15:02

FFS

pagwatch · 17/01/2011 15:03
Grin

this has cheered me up immensely this morning. I want to start a facebook page protesting the gateux violations inflicted by religious fanatics...

Flangate

MainlyMaynie · 17/01/2011 15:05

:o the human rights violation is hilarious.

Misfitless · 17/01/2011 15:05

Meant to say YANBU to be annoyed but YABU to shriek, but this is a reaction, not something that intentionally happened. Has anyone mentioned that he could have choked - sponge cake is dry - dry foods, sudden intake of breath due to shock of unexpected food shoved into mouth... The woman's a dunce. I don't mind them wearing purple, but age doesn't give anyone carte blanche to go round shoving food into small children's mouths in my book!

lenga01 · 17/01/2011 15:05

I think yanbu. I would have also freaked out a bit, but then again my daughter does have serious allergies, and if it had happened to her I would have been fretting thinking she may have a serious problem. she was bu, but she meant nothing by it.

Smuddy81 · 17/01/2011 15:05

Sorry I forget you cant hear tone of voice on here. Obviously I know its not an actual human rights violation. (My stupid sense of humour, sorry!)

Thanks for your replies, I know deep down its not a big deal and of course he loved the cake but I just hadnt seen anything like it before. Now I know its totally normal I shall be ready next time.

(I do think she should have asked first though! Hmm)

OP posts:
BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 17/01/2011 15:05

It happens to my DD all the time at church. Really, I find that life brings me greater things to worry about...

KaraStarbuckThrace · 17/01/2011 15:05

Fucking hate this sort of thing. This is not a breach of his human rights. That would be denying him any food, access to clean water, and the right to live his life free from prosecution.

Smuddy - you need to get a grip. Yes it probably would annoyed me if someone had done this to my child but I certainly wouldn't have shrieked about it! YABU!

herbietea · 17/01/2011 15:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

KaraStarbuckThrace · 17/01/2011 15:06

That should have been PERSECUTION, sorry!

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