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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be speechless at this behaviour?

216 replies

Smuddy81 · 17/01/2011 14:54

My DH and DS (15months) were visiting the church where my father is vicar yesterday and as it was his 60th birthday there was fizz and cake after the service for all the congregation. My dad was having a great time and loved showing off his only grandchild to his flock (it was so lovely actually) but as he was talking to a couple of ladies from the church one of them had been coo-ing over DS and all of a sudden shoved a huge chunk of cake into his mouth!

I was at a distance looking on and wasnt able to get there in time to ask her what the hell she was doing but to say I was shocked was an understatement! I actually shrieked!

I have a few issues with this and tell me if IABU but surely having food shoved in your mouth when you're not expecting it (and even if you are) is a basic human rights violation! Also, what if he had an allergy she wasnt aware of. I let him have a bit of cake every now and again so thats not an issue but she even ask my dad if he was allowed any, she just shoved it in!

I'm sure DS didnt really mind although he was a bit taken aback! (He's BLW'd too so never really has anyone put food in his mouth for him!)

Maybe I've blown it out of all proportion but I was so shocked! She was an older lady if that's relevant? Is this just what they do!?

AIBU?

OP posts:
monkeyflippers · 17/01/2011 17:09

OP - I think it would have shocked me too and I would have been wondering where her fingers had been. I dont suppose she meant any harm though.

SantosLHalper · 17/01/2011 17:12

where her fingers had been??? what do old ladies in churches put their fingers monkeyflippers? the mind boggles!

Lamorna · 17/01/2011 17:12

' his treats are the organic rice cakes etc, which he loves and doesnt know any better.'

Poor DC! He must have a pretty bland diet if this is a treat! I think that you could manage something a little more interesting without giving sugar. (This wasn't OP -just something I picked up further down).

How old does a woman have to be before she is called old? (Just interested because I bet that if I upset someone enough to post on here I would feature as old and I don't see myself that way!)

AbsofCroissant · 17/01/2011 17:14

I think this should be the next MN campaign -stopping old ladies from willfully, and wantonly shoving cake into the unsuspecting mouths of babes. Instead, brave MNers should dive in front of said babies and eat the cake themselves.

We will have to be vigilant. We will have to eat a lot of cake, but by DAMN we will save those PFBs babies from being fed baked treats.

monkeyflippers · 17/01/2011 17:15

SantosLHalper It's not little old lady specific. It's any random person that you don't know putting their fingers into your childs mouth or feeding your child with their fingers. Or do little old ladies who go to church have (by some miracle of God) completely germ free hands . . . wasn't aware of that.

Lamorna · 17/01/2011 17:15

Just a thought, but if he was already at his grandfather's special party why hadn't he already been given a piece of the special cake?

goodasgold · 17/01/2011 17:16

I would be very surprised if she had meant harm by giving a toddler/baby a bit of cake. I don't think she did do any harm did she?

Would you really wonder where her hands had been? A lady invited to the vicar's party.

goodasgold · 17/01/2011 17:17

I for one am speechless at this behaviour.

Bucharest · 17/01/2011 17:17

Human rights violations?

Check Amnesty International dearie, or google Rwanda or Burma or Armenia or China or....little old ladies making children eat cake.

Now then, on a scale of 1-10 Are You Being Unreasonable?

SantosLHalper · 17/01/2011 17:18

Do you have germ free hands monkey?
Jesus, people really do get very hung up on germs etc don't they....lack of exposure to germs etc is NOT HEALTHY. Its also a bit mental and turns children into little prissy things who hate to get messy. There is a difference between being clean and being OCD about it.
I am sure the OP's dc hasn't contracted the ebola virus from the lady or the cake?

wannaBe · 17/01/2011 17:19

nobody seriously believes this is real. do they?

Lamorna · 17/01/2011 17:20

You will spend a lot of your life without a voice then goodasgold! It will be the first of many occasions, I'm afraid that you can't control everything!

fiveisanawfullybignumber · 17/01/2011 17:20

PMSL at human rights violation. A year ago I would have not worried, but now YANBU!!!!!!
DD3 (9m and definitely not PFB as DC5) is intollerant to cows milk protein (butter or marge used in cakes), soya, wheat and gluten.
If she'd have had a bit of cake popped in her mouth I'd do more than shriek.
We'd have had to go through about 2 days of vomiting and screaming, major tummy cramps followed by DD farting like a trooper.

SantosLHalper · 17/01/2011 17:20

wannaBe, sadly yes. I know mothers like this who weave lentils and think a rice cake is a treat!

goodasgold · 17/01/2011 17:22

Lamorna read some of my other posts! I think this is a funny thread, but now I am worried that it is trolling.

Lamorna · 17/01/2011 17:22

I think that if you get a 17month old who is given an organic rice cake as a treat wannaBe then it is real. I would love to see the mother of the 17mth old being told she is having a special treat and it turns out to be a rice cake! (I for one might throw it at the person!)

humanheart · 17/01/2011 17:22

i think I've turned into one of the 'old' ladies who talk to babies and touch them. I've learned the hard way to ask the mother first if I can, although it rather kills the moment. but I don't shove cake into their mouths without asking them first - asking the baby OR the mother. I heard about a woman who was applauded by all present for literally diving towards a woman who was about to put something sugary in the first woman's (keep up) baby's mouth, shrieking that she wouldn't allow her baby to take heroin so why should she accept her baby being fed sugar. lots of shrieking going on on the sugar/baby front.

what surprises me is that you, OP, have 'never seen anything like it before' when your dad is a VICAR.

Bucharest · 17/01/2011 17:23

Funny thing is, we all know people in the Rice Cake Army......and you know what? 9 times out of 10 their children end up as total junk food freaks.

My friend's sister was vegan, organic, boiled tofu when her boys were young. Apparently they'll now only eat chicken nuggets (and then only really really orange ones, none of that homemade Jamie-stylee nuggets, oh no)

monkeyflippers · 17/01/2011 17:23

I would wonder where anyones hands had been who was feeding my child with them. What does her being at a vicars party have to do with it? Would you feel the same if it was a random person on the bus?

Lamorna · 17/01/2011 17:24

Really sorry goodasgold but I am a bit dense, you need a few exclamation marks or smileys Blush

SantosLHalper · 17/01/2011 17:25

As someone once said to me when I was new to this parenting lark and obsessed with healthy eating..."no one wants their kid to be the wierdo in the corner at a party with a bag of carrot sticks".

Bucharest · 17/01/2011 17:25

Ach, we've all got to eat a pound of muck before we die (as my Grandad used to say)

It's having hands too clinically clean that leads to a lot of this anal behaviour (if I'm not mixing my bodily metaphors too much there)

SantosLHalper · 17/01/2011 17:26

monkey, it has NOTHING to do with the tea party...its about you worrying about germy hands.

BoffinMum · 17/01/2011 17:26

FFS chill woman. What joy is there in old age if you can't force feed the occasional passing child.

monkeyflippers · 17/01/2011 17:26

No I don't have germ free hands which is why I wouldn't use them to feed someone elses toddler.

Seriously I don't think you would react the same if it wasn't a vicars party!

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