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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want my DDs shoes back?

216 replies

purplewednesday · 07/01/2011 17:58

DD, aged 13 months goes to nursery. Another child there has an identical pair of shoes, and when her Dad collected her mid afternoon he took my DDs shoes instead of his DDs.

This Dad/ Mum won't bring them back until the child is there again on Monday. It doesn't bother them apparently because they have another pair of shoes they can use.
They would have had time too as it was mid afternoon they were taken. They are going away for the weekend which is why they can't return them, but they have only gone to Grandparents, it's not like they were catching a plane. Hmm

In the meantime, my DD has to go without shoes.

I hope they are MN and read this.

Not Happy.

OP posts:
charliesmommy · 07/01/2011 18:00

Well it sounds like it was a genuine mistake. Your daughter doesnt have any other shoes then???

scurryfunge · 07/01/2011 18:00

I wouldn't come in especially if you are without for the weekend only and it is a bit unreasonable to expect them to. Get to ASDA and buy a really cheap pair if your child really can't go without or borrow a pair.

BluTac · 07/01/2011 18:01

That's not very nice, they should have corrected their mistake. Does you dd have any wellies? That's what my ds would have to wear in the same situation.

lifeinagoldfishbowl · 07/01/2011 18:01

And this is why you need to label your childs belongings.

MadamDeathstare · 07/01/2011 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BluTac · 07/01/2011 18:02

Looks like I'm in the minority, but I would have brought them back.

MadamDeathstare · 07/01/2011 18:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ItsMeMo · 07/01/2011 18:03

It was their mistake. They should return them straight away. They might have spare shoes but it doesn't mean you do. My dd is 14 months and only has one pair. Why buy two pairs when they grow out of them so fast?

ItsMeMo · 07/01/2011 18:04

Yanbu by the way

TrappedinSuburbia · 07/01/2011 18:05

My ds only had one pair at a time at that age, yanbu.

HangingbaublesofBethlehem · 07/01/2011 18:07

that would really piss me off but then it hopefully wouldn't have happened as I am manic about labelling everything right down to individual mittens Grin. Perfectly normal to only have 1 pair of shoes at this age as well.

fel1x · 07/01/2011 18:08

YABU
I wouldnt ahve taken them back. If I was handed shoes that looked exactly like my DCs shoes by the nursery and got home and then realised on a Friday, I'd call and say 'sorry, got wrong shoes I'll swap them back over when I'm back in on Monday' same as it seems they did.
ESPECIALLY considering they left nursery early to go away for the weekend! They could have been HOURS away by the time they realised and phoned. You dont honestly expect them to come all the way back with a pair of shoes??

If a child is old enough to walk outside then they should really have a back up pair of shoes/wellies. There have been countless occasions with my DCs where they've wee'd on the ir shoes, been sick on the shoes, jumped in a puddle without warning, trod in dog poo etc which has meant a change of shoes while the dirty ones got machine washed. Its always worth having a spare pair, even if they are v cheap asda ones or even just wellies imo

Original poster
purplewednesday · 07/01/2011 18:09

It clearly was a genuine mistake but thats not my point. Yes she does have only one pair of shoes - she has only just started walking and only had her feet measured for this first pair of shoes a couple of weeks ago. I am not spending >£30 on more than one pair of shoes for a very small child. Yes I can go to ASDA and buy a cheap pair of ill fitting crap shoes but why should I have to?

I mistakenly thought enough care would be taken - children have individual baskets and pegs at nursery.
You are right though, I will be getting the marker pen out when they are returned.

Interesting that other posters feel they wouldn't correct their mistake as they couldn't be bothered to.

OP posts:
Original poster
purplewednesday · 07/01/2011 18:11

Nursery staff didn't hand the shoes over - Dad helped himself without checking they were the corect ones.

OP posts:
MrsTumbles · 07/01/2011 18:12

The same thing happened with my DD last year. Another parent 'accidentally' took my DD's BRAND NEW pair of white and pink Clarks trainers home, leaving a really old scummy pair of PURPLE Pepper Pig shoes behind. They 'didn't notice' they had the wrong shoes Hmm

The child then wasn't in because of a holiday and illness. When she got her pair back it was obvious that they had been worn every day for the 2 weeks they had them, and they looked like they had spent every day kicking bricks, the toes were wrecked!

Luckily we had a spare pair, and the nursery gave me the money to buy a new pair when they saw the state the shoes were returned to us. I still can't get how you don't know your childrens shoes when they are that small and don't have many pairs!

Original poster
purplewednesday · 07/01/2011 18:13

Oh, and although the child was collected early the Mum was still at work - presumably the plan was to leave as soon as she got home from work. And if they have only gone to family surely it wouldn't have mattered if they got there slightly later?

OP posts:
PonceyMcPonce · 07/01/2011 18:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mutznutz · 07/01/2011 18:13

Well to be fair you've spent £30 on one pair of shoes...you refuse to have a cheap back up pair and you didn't bother marking them BEFORE your child went to school?

Perhaps the parents might have returned them quickly had they known that.

scurryfunge · 07/01/2011 18:14

OP, yes it is annoying but you can't seriously expect people to drive back to a nursery during Friday afternoon traffic if they are hoping to go away for the evening. I would expect an apology on Monday -that is all. If having shoes this weekend is essential, then cheap crap from ASDA id a good solution because you can bin them on Monday. (or a pair of wellies is good if your weather is anything like ours at the moment).

It really isn't worth stressing over.

earwicga · 07/01/2011 18:14

Wellies. And label EVERYTHING if you ever want to see it again.

If the duplicate shoes aren't too manky then why not use those?

QuintessentialShadows · 07/01/2011 18:14

If he did not know your dd had identical shoes, and you had not labelled them, how should he know?

Incidentally, where is their childs shoes? I am assuming he did not take BOTH shoes?

Can your dd use the other girls shoes until monday, if they are identical?

herbietea · 07/01/2011 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

earwicga · 07/01/2011 18:16

Lol mutznutz.

justcarrots29 · 07/01/2011 18:23

I don't think yabu - they are reasonably new shoes and it is annoying to think that the dad didn't check he had the right ones. However, as she has only just starting walking it shouldn't be too bad just for a weekend and I would buy some wellies for her to wear until Monday. I hope you get the shoes back and they are in the same condition they went in!

Grumpla · 07/01/2011 18:25

YANBU to be annoyed that they were carelessly picked up, but in the same situation I don't think I would extend a car journey with my toddler to bring your toddlers shoes back - not because I couldn't be bothered but because even an extra half hour in the car can be the difference between manageable and meltdown. Definitely something to be avoided en route to GPs house!

I'm sure they didn't realise that they were her only pair.

Maybe time to invest in a pair of wellies? Our nursery requires them for each child as the outdoor play area is like Glastonbury for toddlers six months of the year, and although I was a bit Hmm at first it is useful having alternate footwear. Apart from the boots we didn't have other shoes at that age either, totally agree that it is not worth paying that much twice! Got wellies from a factory shop for £2, worth having a look to see if there is one in your area. Even full price they aren't as expensive as shoes.