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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want my DDs shoes back?

216 replies

purplewednesday · 07/01/2011 17:58

DD, aged 13 months goes to nursery. Another child there has an identical pair of shoes, and when her Dad collected her mid afternoon he took my DDs shoes instead of his DDs.

This Dad/ Mum won't bring them back until the child is there again on Monday. It doesn't bother them apparently because they have another pair of shoes they can use.
They would have had time too as it was mid afternoon they were taken. They are going away for the weekend which is why they can't return them, but they have only gone to Grandparents, it's not like they were catching a plane. Hmm

In the meantime, my DD has to go without shoes.

I hope they are MN and read this.

Not Happy.

OP posts:
Baileysismyfriend · 07/01/2011 19:11

YANBU I would have been hacked off if my toddler didn't have shoes for the weekend. My DS is 18 months and has one pair of shoes and has only just got a pair of wellies as he couldn't walk in them before.

How many pairs of shoes should a 13 month old have???

BluddyMoFo · 07/01/2011 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

browneyesblue · 07/01/2011 19:20

YANBU, and I'm Shock that the OP is having to defend everything from her choice of shoes to her stance on puddle-jumping!

The other parent made the mistake. I don't think anyone is suggesting that he acted maliciously, it was an easy mistake to make, but on discovering the error he should have rectified it at the OP's convenience, not his own. Why should the OP and the OP's DD be inconvenienced for his mistake?

hmmSleep · 07/01/2011 19:26

YANBU to expect the shoes back, YABU not to buy your daughter some wellies so she can jump in puddles.

BluddyMoFo · 07/01/2011 19:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
purplewednesday · 07/01/2011 19:29

DD does have wellies - she can hardly wear these indoors/in town/in the buggy muff if she has been with me walking the dog, can she? Why did the welly thing start anyway?

OP posts:
Simbacatlives · 07/01/2011 19:32

Me sorry- I said it was snowing again and likely to be a welly weekend.

countless · 07/01/2011 19:32

well i don't accept that jumping in puddles is stupid, but maybe 13 months too wobbly but now is the time to stock up on wellies in the sales!

also if you can get to monsoon their party shoes are reduced to only £6 and the soft toddler shoes even less. i bought 2 pairs of cha cha heels for dd age 3 but that's a whole other thread..!
all girls need party shoes though and i've recently accepted after 18yrs parenting that non-clarks shoes are not work of devil and that foot measuring/ shoe fitting not much of a science either

BluddyMoFo · 07/01/2011 19:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hmmSleep · 07/01/2011 19:42

It was this comment that got me onto wellies;

'We are country dwellers (ex dairy farmers), and so not stupid enough to let DD jump in puddles'

PorkChopSter · 07/01/2011 19:45

You could clean the wellies. And go and label everything she's ever going to take out of the house ever again.

Mofes hark at you with the smilies 3)

Grumpla · 07/01/2011 19:49

I obviously misunderstood your first post, I thought you were saying the shoes were her only footwear. If she has wellies, YABU. Why can't she wear them in town? It's not like she has to walk round in socks / bare feet is it? And if she's in the buggy muff she doesn't really need shoes on at all.

SE13Mummy · 07/01/2011 19:51

Yes, the other parent made a mistake but, having discovered (or had it pointed out) that a 13-month-old was now going to be shoe-less for the weekend should have done something to rectify the situation. If the shoe-taker didn't want to do the journey himself he could have offered to have the shoes collected by taxi and returned to the nursery.

What if the OP's DD had a party in a church hall/wedding/something else to go to this weekend that required proper footwear? Why should the OP be so inconvenienced by someone else being unwilling to correct their error when they have the time to do so?

My DDs only had a single pair of shoes each at 13 months. Actually, DD2 didn't have a pair as she wasn't able to walk/crawl/stand up but now that she is (at 18 months) she has a single pair of 'proper' shoes. Wellies don't work as her feet are too small and her legs too bendy to cope with them. If her shoes were taken by someone else we'd be stuck; she needs shoes that support her ankles so the cheapy shoes or party shoes would be no use, even in the short-term.

Years ago DD1's coat was taken from nursery by another child's carer. It was clearly labelled and on DD1's peg plus it didn't look even vaguely like the other child's coat (completely different colour). As I was walking DD1, probably aged about 2, home from nursery on a rainy evening there was no way I was going to do that without her coat. She had an all-in-one rain/mudsuit at home but that was a couple of miles away. I waited at nursery until the coat was returned (after repeated phone calls). It would appear that DD1's coat had been borrowed because it was raining!

OP, whilst the shoes are away, have a look on eBay and this website for cheaper Clarks shoes. With DD1 I used to buy a cheap back up pair in the same style as she'd been measured/fitted for so that those could be trashed at nursery.

earwicga · 07/01/2011 19:52

Right, so your child has other footwear. YABVU

You only put this on here in the hope that the shoe stealer is a mumsnetter. In the olden days dirty looks would of sufficed.

thisisyesterday · 07/01/2011 19:57

I think it's fairly unreasonable of them not to offer to bring them back tbh

BUT, you should have had them labelled, and if you were that desperate could you not have gone to them and picked them up?

LoopyLoopsOfSparklyFairyLights · 07/01/2011 20:01

I would have taken them back but I don't understand why she can't make do with wellies as she has them.

indoors - you don't need shoes
in town - wellies are fine
in the buggy muff - take them off

I think you're being a little precious about this tbh.

BluddyMoFo · 07/01/2011 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoopyLoopsOfSparklyFairyLights · 07/01/2011 20:02

Also, I'm unsure as to how and why you know about the finer details of their movements today/this weekend. I wouldn't be happy if nursery were so easily forthcoming with such information.

SleepyCaz · 07/01/2011 20:03

YANBU about it being a PITA about the wrong shoes. Have had the same happen to me and it really annoyed me.

YABU about the charming 'not everyone buys shoes proper shoes for their toddler and some people do have more than one cheap supermarket pair'.

Nice.

thisisyesterday · 07/01/2011 20:03

i wouldn#t put my 13 month old in wellies all weekend

and the point is... why should she?

the other parents took the wrong shoes. the OP hasn't said if they're the same size, just that they are an identical style. so if the dad had checked it may have been that he would have noticed it wasn't his?

anyway, i agree that if you do something wrong, you make it good.

THEY had no idea if she had other shoes. THEY didn't know if she was about to fly off on holiday for a week and really needed them... or any other number of factors.

they just couldn't be arsed to take them back, which is selfish and petty IMO

thisisyesterday · 07/01/2011 20:04

oh and i would imagine she doesn';t jump in puddles because she is 13 months old and has only just learned to walk Confused

BluddyMoFo · 07/01/2011 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisisyesterday · 07/01/2011 20:12

erm. okay

i don't think many 13 month olds can jump though. esp if they've only just learned to walk

i don't really know what you're saying Confused

undercovamutha · 07/01/2011 20:13

OP - this is all getting very odd,, and I think you need to chill out!

It is of course annoying that someone else has your childs shoes - which you didn't write her name in (don't understand why tbh - I thought nurseries requested labelling on shoes, coats, hats etc as a matter of course). However it is quite unreasonable to expect the other family to return the shoes urgently, when surely monday would do. If you are particularly concerned you could ask the nusery to put a note up asking that in future parents take care to ensure they have the right items.

Also, you claim that your DD has no other footwear - but all of a sudden she has wellies. Why on earth she can't use these instead is just beyond me!

Imarriedafrog · 07/01/2011 20:15

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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