to want my DDs shoes back?

[purplewednesday]

DD, aged 13 months goes to nursery. Another child there has an identical pair of shoes, and when her Dad collected her mid afternoon he took my DDs shoes instead of his DDs.

This Dad/ Mum won't bring them back until the child is there again on Monday. It doesn't bother them apparently because they have another pair of shoes they can use.
They would have had time too as it was mid afternoon they were taken. They are going away for the weekend which is why they can't return them, but they have only gone to Grandparents, it's not like they were catching a plane.

In the meantime, my DD has to go without shoes.

I hope they are MN and read this.

Not Happy.

I think OP is not U for expecting the shoes to be returned. I would not be pleased it my DS was left shoe-less for a weekend and if I did it to someone else, I'd put it right. If I genuinely I couldn't there and then, I'd offer to pay for a pair of wellies/cheap shoes to get the family through the weekend if my mistake had made them inconvenienced. However, OP, what I would suggest is that you get yourself onto one of the labels websites and order some name tapes. Some of them do deals for shoe labels. You put them on the inner sole of shoe by the heel so the name is immediately visible. My DS has a really unusual colour, too, so he can spot his own school shoes a mile off.

Quint,yes, my children wear shoes at Nursery/school. I wear shoes at work, don't you?

I don't get why anyone would pay £30 for a pair of kids shoes?

There is nothing wrong with 'cheap supermarket' shoes, nothing at all. Clarkes are a huge rip-off designed to make parents feel guilty and make a giant profit out of them. Children DO NOT need clarkes shoes.

OP YANBU to want your DDs shoes back but YABVVU to sneer at 'cheap supermarket' shoes. My DD, at any one time, had 4 pairs on the go: Shoes, Boots, Trainers and Wellies. By your reckoning that would be over £100 every couple of months...what a waste.

LtEveDallas - after wearing supermarket shoes, forgive me if I disagree entirely with you and continue to scrape together the money to pay the absurd prices for well fitted school shoes for my children. I'm very grateful my mother did the same for me.

YANBU, if my DH had taken shoes belonging to another child mistakenly, they would have been returned ASAP. It's only polite.

My children always have one on one off for shoes though.

To be a Clarks Shoe fitter (ie to work in the shop) takes only a one day course.

To be a 'shoe fitting expert' (you get a special badge and everything!) takes about 3 months and is based on how many shoes/customers you have fitted - not an exam/college course.

All you need to do to ensure that the shoes you buy your child fit well is a 6 point check - Length, growing room, width, doesnt rub the heel, doesnt slide off when walking, doesnt rub the top of the foot. This is a handy guide here - and its a 9 point check - better than Clarks!!

So I could go to Clarkes, pay £30 and have someone do this for me - or I could go to Asda, do it myself and pay £10.

Personally I like Brantano for cheap 'Chipmunks' shoes, but that's because I like the styles. DD is currently in a pair of Stead and Simpsons £10 school shoes that fit her perfectly, are made of leather and she has had since Sep with no issues.

I've never bought Clarks and never will - without being forced to feel guilty.

(as an aside - Clarks dont exist in the USA, at least not for kids. Is there a whole country walking round with badly fitting shoes / feet falling off because their terrible mothers went to WalMart for their school shoes? No? Thought not)

I think you are a little hung up on Clarks. Other well fitting shoe brands are available...

Typical thing for a dad to do!!

Hope he feels guilty on Monday when returning them.

You sound like a right bloody snob to me
My ds has worn other peoples shoes, trousers, t-shirts etc, etc

what's wrong with that?

Yeah, I suppose I am hung up on Clarks. I really believe they only exist to rip off hard working parents who are made to feel guilty if they don't buy / can't afford to buy their shoes.

As long as the shoe fits, it doesn't matter where they are bought or how much they cost. Shoe fitting is common sense, it does not need to be undertaken by specially trained personnel.

I hate anything that makes parents feel guilty. The job is hard enough without being made to feel guilty for not scrimping and saving to pay extra for shoes just because the shop plays on those fears.

The whole clarks thing is a load of swollocks tbh, we don't use them anymore the fitting service is awful and my poor nephew nearly ended up having to have his big toe lopped off after his badly fitted shoes left him with massive blisters which ended up badly infected, took 2 years to clear up !!

He'd only worn them on the walk home, he can't speak because of his autism so couldn't say they were about half a size too big.

Much, much prefer VANS, far better quality, the guy in the shop fits them for me perfectly, we used hush puppies or sketchers for school shoes.

A short walk in shoes that are half a size big caused two year blisters and almost caused amputation? Not believing that for one single second.

LtEveDallas - how do you know what size shoe your child requires?

Short walk ???!!! Not everybody drives you know, it's 3 miles from my house to town, which yes I walk with no problems.

They didn't cause blisters for two years, the blisters got infected (they are an open wound don'tcha know) and the resulting infection took 2 years to clear up) www.nhsdirect.wales.nhs.uk/encyclopaedia/b/article/blisters

And believe it or not it doesn't take much for serious infections to start, some people are just unluckey, people who develop ME for example, it's often the result of a simple virus.

As it happens I don't think the op is being unreasonable, the people who took her childs shoes should have returned them.

Ok, I'm really sorry that your nephew had blisters that were allowed to get infected. He was very unlucky.

I know what size my DD is by using the sizing guide in the shop the first time I bought shoes.

Thereafter I try a shoe of that size on. I press down on the end of the shoe and check that there is slight room for growth.

I push down and out to the sides with both thumbs to check the width

I hold the foot up and check that the shoe moves slightly around the foot

I check the heel of the shoe for rubbing

I check around the ankle bone for rubbing if they are a high style

I get DD to walk around and check to see her heel doesn't slip out of the shoe. I also get her to go on her toes and crouch down in a squat to see how the shoe bends.

Finally I ask DD if they are comfortable (obvs couldn't do this until she could talk!)

If she is happy with the style and fit, and I am happy that they lasted well I tend to buy the same shoe many times as her feet grow (ie for school shoes, her current pair she has had in 3 sizes)

Well at least you know who took them. My ds came out of nursery once minus his (named) shoes and wearing an identical pair, but width G instead of F, and despite the best efforts of the staff who must have contacted just about everybody who was there that day, we NEVER got his own shoes back, and I ended up having to go and buy another pair.

His older half brother was on a life support machine in intensive care at the time, so it did kinda put it in context.

It is annoying though.

Ah, so you do get the feet measured then. Good idea to stick to the same style (as long as they keep making them) but my big foot children can't do that any more.

Your welcome.

And i'm sure you aren't implying my nephew is neglected in any way by stating he was 'allowed to get infected'

Obviously he wasn't, sometimes crap happens. Sadly.

No I measure her feet. Didn't you understand me? I don't pay someone elses extortionate prices just so they can do what I am perfectly capable of doing, whether in Asda, tescos or a local shoe shop.

Thank you to whoever posted the label link just ordered more!

You can't normally get cheap shoes or wellies in the right size for a 13mo girl, everything like that seems to start at a size 4 at least in the shops I go to.

Good god, is this even an issue?

Sorry, but if you don't go out and buy another pair, I think that makes you a bit old Martyr... except you're transferring the "suffering" onto your child.

Spend the cash for goodness sake. This isn't about your principles, or which adult is right or wrong, this about you being a mother and providing for your child.

Just to add my two penneth to the Clarks debate. I think that, for school shoes, the £30 Clarks shoes will usually last a lot longer than the £10 ones and so often cheap shoes are a false economy. I feel comforted that they are fitted properly (DS has very wide feet, DD very narrow feet). When DS shoes hurt and rubbed his feet, they swapped them over no problem, after two weeks of wearing them.

What I don't get is £30 for Lelli kellis or sketchers, which, AFAIK, are not fitted anyway.

Did they reappear today ?