200 days alcohol free- anyone wish to join?

[FeelingLessTired]

Several years ago, under another user name I did a 100 day alcohol free challenge and alot of people joined me on MN. It was before covid, so a long time ago!

I really appreciated the support and lasted 120 days in the end. ironically enough DH joined me IRL and he just continued on and has been teetotal since then.

I was reading Annie Grace back then (I think) and her recommendation was that if you slip, to then challenge yourself for double the time- hence I now wish to start and achieve a 200 day challenge.

I'd love some company if anyone wishes to join me!

I have a funeral today and plan to drink J20 with tonic water. The deceased was a good friend of DH's and although he was in his early 70s drinking definitely played a part in his extreme fragility over the past few years. He's been really ill for a good ten years I think.

I have set out a spread sheet with my alcohol-free savings. In the last week i have definitely reduced and have saved just shy of £50 already (since the beginning of April) as we have had a fair few dinners and lunches out. I look at what I would have drunk (sauvignon blanc here and there) and when i have not had it I add that cost to my spreadsheet. That does help to inspire me because COL is biting us hard right now.

@Goandygo my resilience is starting to drop again and I'm finding myself fancying wine tonight now. I said to DH that if having it on Friday makes me want it 4,5,6 etc days later then clearly I just can't have any. But the craving is strong again. Your day on Friday sounds lovely!

@FeelingLessTiredI'm alllll for the AF treats! The problem is I haven't been giving myself them as even though we are obviously saving money by not drinking I'm not quite sure where it's gone!

@paintcolourchart same. It's all I could think of today.
My problem is not that I'll run out and buy it today, but that I'll cave soon.
The negative self talk today has been awful. Telling myself I'll never give it up long term, what am I thinking...blah blah. I suspect others don't believe I can give up long term, and this is going to prove them right.
I feel OK now. Passed several shops on the way home and didn't dash in.
I'll sleep on it.
Hope you're feeling a bit stronger 💪 ❤️

P.s My craving isn't for wine. But for a beer or cider. Even a gin n tonic.
I was telling myself if I have an alcoholic drink that's not wine , I can still say I've not had wine for 102 days.
I'm moving the goalposts 🥴

@Goandygo well done on staying strong! I get you with the negative talk but you are already proving all of those people wrong. Over 100 days!!!!!! I actually like your idea of saying you'd have something other than wine if you really wanted. I might try that as it takes away the restriction but also takes away the temptation in a way (I'm not too fussed about g&t and definitely not fussed about beer).

So DH did go to Tesco but I asked him to get some Epsom bath salts. I genuinely can't remember the last time I had a bath and I'm really looking forward to it. 9:30pm seems a bit late to be running a bath really 😅 but considering I've been know to open a bottle of wine at this time it's not a bad option - following your advice @Goandygo!. I wouldn't have spent the £3.50 bath salts cost on myself normally, but wouldn't have worried about £7/8 on a bottle of wine. Where on earth is the sense in that?! So this will fee like a treat 😂 I know I will look down and hate my body again, as I always do post baby in the bath (which is why I normally avoid them) but I'm also finally working on myself so the improvements are happening, I've just got to remind myself of that.

Hope everyone else has managed to stay dry this evening - it's not easy!

Well that was absolutely lovely. Definitely going to make that more of a regular thing! My next treat is going to be some candles for the bathroom. Thank you for the suggestion @Goandygo- I'm not sure I'd have run a bath had you not have suggested it the other day. Sounds silly I know but I was kind of waiting for my next weight milestone before I would brave it!

aaah sounds lovely @paintcolourchart . Glad you did that. I used to love a bath but now thanks to my arthritis can't get in and out easily!!

I have started swimming this week though, and at the end of each lane am doing squats in the water. I hope it makes a difference to my joints but we will see.

@Goandygo I hope so much that your negative self talk goes on vacation today- and for many days coming. You have done so amazingly well and you DESERVE to be everything you want to be. You are always there cheering us all on - please cheer yourself today hard. ❤

day 41 and Day 6 of veg. Have promised DCs McDonalds tonight so am going to try the McPlant. Maybe not 'healthy' but that's okay. I am looking forward to it.

have a great ay everyone. xx

Morning, tribe !
@FeelingLessTired swimming sounds like a great idea for your joints. I hope it helps. And thanks for your lovely words. I reminded myself yesterday that I wouldn't speak to anyone else like that.
@paintcolourchart I have a bath everyday. It's one of my greatest pleasures !
When I read on here about women who don't like their post - baby bodies, mumsnetters always say be proud of it - you made a tiny baby. I love that ❤️

Today, I'm feeling positive.
Last night I wrote in my journal all the things that were going well for me atm ( skin, weight, sleep, finances, mood and happy state) and reflected on whether it was due to being af.
Lo and behold, we know the answer !!
I'm going to carry on. If I have a beer ( though I love af perroni so it makes no sense), so be it. I definitely don't want wine, definitely. So I'm winning there.
Have a lovely day ❤️

@FeelingLessTired have you seen those walk in baths? My PIL used to have one - they have a little door on them so you can get in and out. I hope your swims help with your arthritis! Hoping to get to the pool today as well but as usual other priorities will probably get in the way. Not quite the same but I have a previous injury in my wrist (yep, I was drunk when it happened!) and I find swimming definitely helps it. The Mcplant is surprisingly nice! Enjoy!

@Goandygo@FeelingLessTiredworded it perfectly. Speak to yourself as if you're speaking to us 🥰

I read the attached on Instagram yesterday and it actually really changed my perspective. My 'story' or whatever is a little different to hers but the sentiment is the same. I can't believe I've been sabotaging my body with wine for so long tbh.

Hope everyone has a great day!

@Goandygoout of interest do you ever read back on your journal or is it a day by day thing?

@paintcolourchart when I suffered from anxiety / fretting over small things, I'd write them down and refer back to them. I still do that actually just not as much ( as anxiety has decreased and my coping skills are better).
It's interesting to see how insignificant the worries are / were.
Love that post, thanks.
( BTW, I couldn't read the other one you posted. Meant to tell you 🤣).

Awh, just had a lovely, unexpected visit from the youngest granddaughter. So much fun and laughter. She's at that learning to talk stage.
Times like this I'm so glad I'm not hungover. I never let it affect them in the past, but I would be feeling rough 🤢

@Goandygo I've sometimes thought about journaling but I feel like I'd cringe too much if I ever read it back! Aw your visit sounds absolutely lovely! 🥰 I'm about to have another late night bath 😂 it feels so indulgent to have one two nights in a row - I have no idea why! Going to start an audiobook and light the candles, can't wait!

(the image was a Disney scene with a maid kneeling on the floor resting her head on the fairy godmother's lap in despair captioned 'me in early sobriety' with the fairy godmother comforting her and smiling captioned 'me 4.5 years sober knowing everything turned out alright'. I'm probably not explaining it very well and rather shamefully I'm not sure which Disney film it's from! Cinderella perhaps??)

@paintcolourchart I know what you mean but it's more about a daily 'getting my thoughts in order' journal. I've always written lists and I've always been organised ( ex teacher), so it helps that way.
I know now that when I've become too overwhelmed in the past, I've escaped by drinking. I've been too worried instead of really having confidence that yes, things do really turn out alright. We just have to believe it I think.
And that's another slant on giving up drinking - the confidence to do it. It can be done. It's being done ! In the past, I honestly never thought I could do it. So, I didn't bother.
Gosh, hope that wasn't too deep 🤣, and hope you enjoyed your bath !

I've decided I am an advertiser's nightmare. I saw a bottle of Mud House in Tesco today and instead of coveting it and seeing happy, party scenes where everyone looks carefree and happy, I saw Misery In A Fancy Package.

@Goandygobath was lovely but I can't seem to get sleepy tonight! I've set my alarm for a swim first thing so hopefully that'll help me sleep tomorrow night (I did get up a little late today which is probably why I'm struggling!). DH was snoring again so I came into DS' room. Got DS one side and currently spooning the cat on the other 😂 🥰

I'm going to make my baths a real treat, so if I'm having a night off work/study or I really fancy wine, I'm going to do that instead. Going to buy one of those bath tray things so I can take a book in and restock my candles and bath salts selection! If I really do fancy wine I'm definitely going to buy something bath related instead.

Journalling sounds like it's working great for you! It really is about taking the time to spend on something that works. I'm definitely getting into better routines atm, which makes a huge difference in wellbeing for sure. I've read that a few times on these boards about starting to see it as poison in a fancy bottle! I know I did have my blip last week but I'm so grateful I'm starting to see it for what it really is (poison in a fancy bottle!).

Hope everyone has had a lovely relaxing AF evening and hope you are all snoozing right now!

‘Misery in a fancy package’. I really love that. I have for some years called the booze aisle in the supermarket ‘The Aisle of Regret’.

Your planned for baths sound so good @paintcolourchart

It is interesting what you say @Goandygo about the confidence to give up drinking. It makes me think. I have self esteem issues – many underlying reasons I am sure – but there is a part of me that thinks I just don’t really deserve to be healthy. I don’t deserve to look after my body. I don’t deserve to nourish it properly or present it properly. That health, beauty, self-care are for other, more worthy, people. Drinking is an act of self hatred for me. I have binge eating disorder (used to be bulimic but stopped the vomiting about 5-6 years ago) and that is a part of it as well. I am punishing myself.

If any of that makes sense. I am writing as I think really – actually I use this thread as a journal tbh.

The McPlant was quite okay @paintcolourchart ! I’m not sure I’d go out of my way to try it again but even that is good. We have McDonalds shamefully often, so if that puts me off it then it can only be to my benefit and the benefit of my family. Ds1 has eating issues so I often sacrifice nutrition for sheer calories so I need to work on that too. (This morning they had pancakes with ground almonds and mashed pumpkin blended through it with cinnamon and vanilla….. one of his 5 a day and he lapped it up, not even asking why his pancakes were orange coloured…. ).

Day 42 AF and 7 veg. Feeling better than I did a few days ago that is for sure!

Hope you all have a lovely day.

@FeelingLessTired I'm actually a little blown away at the similarities in your post - obviously it's been established that@Goandygo and I were separated at birth but I think you and I might actually be the same person 😂

I feel EXACTLY the same way about self esteem issues and drinking to self sabotage. I usually start because I think it's going to help me relax and then it's like my mind switches over and I want to drink as much as possible which of course makes me miserable. I came across a book (on a sober instagram page actually) called The Mountain is You which might be worth a look. So sorry to hear your struggles with bulimia, that must be so hard ♥️

I did laugh when I read your comment about using this thread as a journal because I had that exact thought literally yesterday 😂 I wondered if I might reread my own posts actually but I'm not sure I can bear the embarrassment 😂

Again, your last paragraph about your DS - we have eating issues with DS too. Not in terms of how much he eats but in terms of variety. I'm very conscious of nutrition and it does bother me about his lack of variety. About to invest in some expensive supplements for him. He is currently eating a pancake as I type this 😂 can I have your pancake recipe please? I've been trying to hide variety in things he will eat lately, mainly smoothies and milkshakes with the odd type of fruit he wouldn't normally touch in!

We might well be the same person!

Right... hiding nutrients in food. [cracks knuckles] my specialist subject. ;)

How old is your DS? Mine is 15 now and it's been a tough road. He has autism and sensory issues around food and textures in particular.

Supplements are good. They make sure the bases are covered while you work on food.

We were under a paediatric dietician for a bit and one of the first things she did was ask me to list all the foods he WILL eat. There might be more than you realise.

Then I think also for some years a basic for us were milkshakes. I used to mix chocolate flavoured complan powder with milk (sometimes soy milk or oat milk) and vanilla ice cream. Added hot chocolate powder and blended well. The complan essentially provided vitamins. Over time I was able to also blend frozen berries in..... tiny amounts at a time then increased it. Now i can add a good cup of frozen mixed berries and as long as I increase the vanilla and chocolate powder he can cope with berries. Nowadays he knows they are in there too. (I usually blend the berries then sieve them as he can't cope with the sight of seeds. )

Hidden vegetable pasta sauce is also a staple. Today we are having that for dinner- it's all the usual vegetables plus also red lentils that i have blitzed to a really smooth paste. If it's smothered with cheese I can slip that by him. Oh! I forgot- he can't stand green things generally so I peel the green off courgette and blend the white part into the sauce.

I do cook pancakes alot for him. He has a peanut allergy but that's all and I use ground almonds ALOT - probably third ratio of almonds to flour in the batter. Ground almonds in the egg mixture for french toast as well.

Sorry this is all probably WAY WAY too much of a response! I absolutely live and dream about his food stuff for years now. The worry has been so intense. But it's loads better now. He actually ate tofu I battered like chicken nuggets this week- and loved it.

The pumpkin pancakes were an experiment as I had some butternut squash I wanted to use up. I was up at 5.30 this morning and peeled the pumpkin, diced and then boiled until soft. Then mashed. Then I made my normal pancake batter and mixed the pumpkin in. It was all by eye and feel I am afraid. I had to add a little bit more flour and a second egg to make it all hold together. Then i added a good couple of teaspoons of good vanilla and cinnamon. Then I put a solid tablespoon of maple syrup on it. he eats way too much sweets I guess but at the moment it is hiding the taste of things he might be horrified at.

It's a work in progress. In the last year or so he now eats peas, guacamole, and pineapple. Previously he only ate raw cucumbers, yellow peppers and carrots and sometimes apples. More recently we have managed raw strawberries.

Phew that was long! Sorry, hope it was not too much.

I'm late on here today.
My perfect day has started with another visit from my granddaughter, and keeping with the food theme, I've made salmon fishcakes with an avocado and yoghurt dip for brunch. Got my af perroni and some treats for the tennis later.
@FeelingLessTired @paintcolourchart you both should use this thread as a journal - I love reading thoughts from people I know ( feel like I know you 🤣).
@FeelingLessTired wow, your food !! Your ds is a very lucky boy ❤️
@paintcolourchart I'll have a nice bath shortly, ready for the day. I think I'll treat myself to some fancier bubbles ( bath, not fizz. For a change).
Have a great day, folks.
( @FeelingLessTired made me laugh, The Aisle Of Regret. Also made me think as I used to run past it, faster than an Olympic athlete, to avoid temptation. Yesterday I perused at my leisure. Probably with a scowl on my face).

@FeelingLessTiredwow thanks so much for all this! I feel so seen 😂 so DS is 4, definitely has sensory issues. I suspect some sort of ND but unsure exactly what at this stage. He won't eat pasta sauce at all so I can't do the whole hiding veg in sauce thing! He will only eat it plain. He has slowly built up a (pretty short) list of food he will eat but it's not as varied as I would like. He absolutely will not eat anything 'wet' so he has a combination of 'separate' food on his plate rather than actual meals if that makes sense. He would never eat a chilli/lasagne/bolognese etc. With these supplements I will just about be happy though. I managed to get blackberries and peach in his milkshake today so I'm counting that as a win! He knew they were in there as well as he put them in 😅 he seemed to respond to 'I wonder what colour this will make it' type thing and thankfully it did come out a lovely colour! Small steps...

Thank you so much for all that info! It definitely isn't too much at all, very appreciated and gives me a bit of hope actually! He also had beetroot the other week in cake 😅

(sorry for the slight derail! I'd love to say I'm not thinking of wine tonight but that would be a lie. How is everyone else doing?

Another Instagram screenshot attached - @Goandygo I thought of you ♥️

Love that instagram quote @paintcolourchart .

Sorry, I realised reading back that my grammar was terrible when I wrote about DS's food issues!!

I love the idea of avocado and yoghurt dip @Goandygo ! How was the tennis. (Tennis And Treats - sounds wonderful!!).

Your DS sounds very similar to mine at that age, @paintcolourchart . I think he did not really eat wet food either at that age. Anything like mashed potato - still no chance. You may have seen already but there is a website called 'My Fussy Eater' there are some interesting recipes but to be honest it did not do much for us. I was worried for a while that DS might have ARFID but he has just enough variety to be outside that category.

Best of luck though- it's awful as a mother trying to nourish your child and they are having none of it!

Day 43 / 8 veg. Hope everyone is fine and well and has a great day. We are going to the cinema followed by pizza today. If I were drinking we would have to get the bus (£9 each way for the three of us - £18 return) plus I would have two glasses of wine (£18 again). A cost of £36. But I am driving so parking will be circa £8 and then if we buy the pizza meal deal it comes already with unlimited soft drinks. That's a savings of £28. Sometimes adding up my savings is the motivator I need!!!

Morning !
@paintcolourchart how did you get on last night ? It's hard when you're craving one, so difficult. You've probably already said, and apologies, but when you had some the other week, did you enjoy it ? I know you regretted it because you felt you'd broke your af run, but did you enjoy it ?
Maybe moderating, at say 1 bottle a week is best for you ?
I'm just playing devil's advocate ( apt ), so apologies if I'm confusing you. I know it's hard enough as it is.
I'm lucky that I'm not craving wine. I had 2 x af perroni. First was nice, 2nd gave me a banging headache.
But, overall, a great day as planned and I didn't eat that much junk - result 🥳

@FeelingLessTired sounds like a lovely day to be had. Gosh, wine is so expensive isn't it. £9 for one glass.

@FeelingLessTired I just reread your food post and smiled at the seed thing in milkshake - we bought a proper smoothie maker so I wouldn't have to sieve it anymore and I still had to sieve it yesterday because of the blackberry bits! Also love your aisle of regret thing 😂 I've wondered about ARFID too. I have to admit I haven't really looked into it properly as it'll just stress me out and for now he is just about ok. I'll be much happier once I've sunk £60 on supplements for him though 🫩

Well done on day 43/8! Your day sounds lovely. I bet you will not miss the wine when you're out.

@Goandygo when I got downstairs after putting DS to bed, there was a wine glass of an AF wine I'd not tried before waiting for me next to the sofa. It was foul and I didn't even finish it. Then had some chocolate DH had out next to it and after that the craving kind of disappeared!

So I enjoyed the taste of the wine much more than I thought I would after my AF run. But in terms of it adding anything to the evening, it definitely didn't. I honestly don't think I can moderate to one bottle a week. I think that would be a slippery slope for me and I'd end up back to where I was before. If I did chose to moderate I think it would have to be more like once a month because there's enough time between for my rational thoughts to overcome my craving, if that makes sense?

If I hadn't had that bottle last week I'd be on day 71 today, and I'd be putting my 10th weekly star up. However I'm going to wait until tomorrow and start my new row of stars after the wine I had. So I'm not lying to myself but I'm not disregarding all my hard work either.

Also noticed I am much more rational about things lately - normally my anxiety (health in particular) would have me spiralling over something small, but lately I've noticed rational thoughts are taking over before this happens. A huge bonus and definitely a reason to stick to the cuppas, chocolate and baths!

@paintcolourchart definitely it all makes sense. I think @FeelingLessTired has said before, it's such an ingrained habit.
I've just taken the girls home and we popped to tesco. Picked up some af kopparberg, looked at the wine and was strangely tempted. I'm on my own this pm, no dh, no children and I thought have a glass or 2. No big deal.
Why though ?
I'm not even craving it. I'd have to get myself back to like it again. After all my hard work.
Anyway I didn't buy it. I knew it wouldn't be 1 bottle that's why. I'd have gone out later for more and for cigarettes.
Still af ❤️💯