200 days alcohol free- anyone wish to join?

[FeelingLessTired]

Several years ago, under another user name I did a 100 day alcohol free challenge and alot of people joined me on MN. It was before covid, so a long time ago!

I really appreciated the support and lasted 120 days in the end. ironically enough DH joined me IRL and he just continued on and has been teetotal since then.

I was reading Annie Grace back then (I think) and her recommendation was that if you slip, to then challenge yourself for double the time- hence I now wish to start and achieve a 200 day challenge.

I'd love some company if anyone wishes to join me!

I have a funeral today and plan to drink J20 with tonic water. The deceased was a good friend of DH's and although he was in his early 70s drinking definitely played a part in his extreme fragility over the past few years. He's been really ill for a good ten years I think.

I have set out a spread sheet with my alcohol-free savings. In the last week i have definitely reduced and have saved just shy of £50 already (since the beginning of April) as we have had a fair few dinners and lunches out. I look at what I would have drunk (sauvignon blanc here and there) and when i have not had it I add that cost to my spreadsheet. That does help to inspire me because COL is biting us hard right now.

Just reading this and what shines out from everybody is that this thing we did, we relied upon and needed - we actually didn’t and we have all realized this. Nobody is missing alcohol or even wanting to drink again. Certainly for me, I cannot see any attraction in it - zero. Our lives are changing and so are we. On january 1 I would have given anything to be where I am now - no way am I ever risking going back to that.

i keep saying it, but this is genuinely the nicest and most supportive thread on mums et so thanking @StillFeelingTired for starting it and all of you ladies for being here every day.

and yes @Carlin please come back and tell us how you’re feeling - what is proving hard for you - maybe we can help?

@88expertprocastinator I've watched many a YouTube channel regarding alcohol misuse, but the one that I always come back to is Alcohol Lied To Me, Craig Beck. Not necessarily listening to his stuff, just those words !
I think they're so true.
For me, it was fun. At first.

Then I was just continously chasing that high, and it took more and more alcohol to do so.
And when I say that, it shows me how well and truly I was addicted.
I don't ever want to go back.
I'm still having some down moments so it's not all sunshine and roses, but I'm not finding solace, or answers, at the bottom of a bottle of wine.
Thanks largely, yes, to this thread - it's been a massive help ❤️💯

@Goandygo i think after such a high we are going to feel low. I have had a really rough few weeks, but I can’t drown the feelings out anymore and I don’t feel the urge to. I’m trying to just sit with my sad feelings - waiting for them to pass.

hope everyone else is good and out enjoying life and not even thinking about alcohol.

@88expertprocastinator sorry you've had a rough few weeks. Hope things are improving.
I've been having a few flashbacks - all of them alcohol related. They're not pleasant but I can't change the past. And at least I'm not drowning my sorrows, and like you, I don't feel the urge anyway.

90 days today 🥳
I'm feeling really good. Skin etc, weight is coming off slowly - feeling positive too.
Tablets ended but haven't ran out to get wine. I'm after feeling good, so god knows why I'd want to wake with a hangover.
Of all the thoughts I've had on this l'il journey, that self inflicted hungover state is the one that puzzles me the most.

Sorry you're having a rough few weeks @88expertprocastinator, so glad you don't feel the urge to drown in drink though - that's huge progress! I hope your sad feelings pass soon ♥️

@Goandygo I guess with time when going AF is just your lifestyle and not a fairly recent change, the flashbacks will stop. I've had a few actually which leave my cringing but remember it's unlikely the people you were with even think about what you did when you had too many at x/y/z event. Congratulations on 90 days!!!!! Amazing achievement! So pleased to hear your positives!

Similar positives here - much better skin, weight is finally coming off (half a stone down, yay!). Realising gluten/grains were an issue has been an absolute game changer for me as well. We are going camping today (I know known, all the sunny weeks we've had and we pick this one to go camping!). I am not even going to bother packing my foundation - that has literally never happened! I'd been wearing foundation every time I go out since I was about 13. We will bringing some AF thatchers with us which will feel like a little treat. We wouldn't have gotten drunk anyway as we will be sharing a tent with DS, but this time we won't feel like we are missing out by not drinking.

8 weeks today!

@paintcolourchart well done on 8 weeks 🥳.
Have a lovely time camping, great shout for the af cider - I see af drinks as a treat too.
I was thinking others have most certainly forgotten my drunken shenanigans.
I'm not ready to ditch the polyfilla 🤣

hello again all.

Hugs to @88expertprocastinator and hope you are feeling better.

Back now and in the trenches of jetlag.

I have been reading and will post properly soon but not sure I will make much sense.

My slips while away- I just was not adequately prepared for all the triggers really. Lesson To Self. But I had mostly AF days and am back to it today. I'll work out how many AF vs drinking when I am more competent mentally.

My older DS is also awake and has decided to deal with jetlag by reviewing his French assignments from the last academic school year. School returns on Wednesday. . I am vaguely thinking about making a frittata. But that would require a trip to the 24 hour Asda so maybe not....

Best to you all. 💓

Oh on a slightly more positive note- as I did not drink as I would have done before I did have some holiday savings left over. So I put £100 into the Christmas present account and £50 into my ISA. It's only small, but it pleased me alot. .

Christmas really strains my budget each year. Mainly buying gifts for nieces and nephews and so forth. Hopefully things will be a little better this year! I am planning to be as frugal as I possibly can.

@FeelingLessTired great news about the savings. I don't know how much I've saved, but it's in its 100s. With the cost of everything nowadays, I'm actually wondering if I could afford to go back to drinking anyway. Not that I want to.
Regarding your blips, I think it's all part of it. I've had so many day 1s because I thought I wasn't adequately prepared.
Truth is, you can't be prepared for every eventuality - you just have to know for next time.

Hello all and happy September! How is everyone doing?

I'm feeling a bit meh today. All hormonal and related to AF (different meaning but same initials! I used to be on the TTC boards on here a lot so AF still means period to me as well!). I am feeling a bit stressed with all this bloody study and work stuff piling up, it's a bit relentless tbh and I just want it to be done so I can live my life. Getting a bit concerned I'm not going to pass it all tbh. I almost feel like I could say fuck it and just have some wine tonight. Even thought earlier that after all the bottles of wine I've had in my life adding one extra tonight won't make any difference. Except I know it will, it will make a big difference because I will get my 'taste' for it back again. As @Goandygo has said on here before - I have not come this far, to only come this far.

Also now it's a new month I have successfully done a whole calendar month sober. My last drink was 4th July and I was always a bit annoyed with myself that I didn't start on 1st so I could have had all of July AF 😂

Hope everyone is doing okay?

Also on the saving money thing - we have definitely saved a lot over the last (almost) couple of months being AF, but I'm not quite sure where it's gone??! I feel like this month in particular we have less leftover than we would normally at this point! Plus today I had to make a payment related to study and another related to work (website), so again it just feels a bit relentless atm!

Waiting to escape DS' room when he's alsleep and then I think I'm going to have a night of really crappy tv (celebs go dating anyone?!) curled up on the sofa. Will not help the list but sometimes it's needed right?!

Congrats on a whole calendar month!

I decided to follow your lead and count sober days out of / how many days then swithc to just sober days when a full month reached. I still have not calculated it though. I wrote it in my diary, but am having a fibro flare (post travel, not surprising) so am exhausted and in complete brain fog.

Sorry you are feeling meh. You are doing a strong and hard thing! Studying, AF, hormones. Big few weeks/months ahead. Don't lose heart, look how far you have come!

Saving money- its a big motivator for me right now. The big family trip was expensive (of course) and I have to save up for the next one. Later this year though both DCs are on residentials (already paid for) and DH and I are considering a night away at a deluxe hotel. First time we will have been without DCs for 15 years! I'll focus hard on that.

Hope all are well.

Morning all !
@paintcolourchart sorry you're feeling a bit down. @FeelingLessTired is right though - look at all you're achieving. You're doing so well.
@FeelingLessTired hope you're feeling better soon too. One day at a time - with most things, I think.
We're all doing our best and should be proud of ourselves ❤️
Still going strong here. 90 odd days.
I'm managing great without it ❤️

Thanks @FeelingLessTired and @Goandygo- I ended up spending the evening with a box of chocolates and crap tv 😅 went for a walk first thing this morning with a friend and feeling a bit more back on track. My urge not to drink was actually stronger than my urge to drink in the end. I'm happy and grateful to be almost two months in, I just had a temporary wobble!

90 odd days is amazing @Goandygo!

@FeelingLessTiredsorry you're in a flare up, I hope it passes soon ♥️ let us know your days when you've calculated them (if you're happy to share or course!). You know there'll only be support here, whatever the number is.

60 days for me today. Still can't believe it tbh! Would have been absolutely fuming if I'd had lapsed last night!

@paintcolourchart 60 days is brilliant, keep going !
I know what you mean about caving and being annoyed with yourself.
I've thought in depth ( 🤣) about why I don't want to cave, and one of the main reasons ( there are a few), is that I don't want to start again.
I think I'd lose confidence tbh and a possibility I'd go back to how I was. Even though that's not what I want.
It's very complex, this af lark.

Fuck I want a glass/bottle of wine tonight. I won't, but fuck me I could quite easily nip to Tesco and buy a bottle of Wairau Cove (my old favourite).

@paintcolourchart any reason or are you just craving it ?

@Goandygo I just feel really stressed and 'D'H pissed me off this evening too which hasn't helped. Waiting for DS to fall asleep then might go and curl up in bed and watch a film alone. I'm surprised the craving has come back like this 60+ days in, but I know I won't give in and it is easier to bat away than it was 60 days ago.

@paintcolourchart awh, sounds stressful. It's not easy is it, especially when you're pissed off.
Just try to get through this evening - tomorrow is another day.
I understand where you're coming from, though. I've been there many a time ❤️

@paintcolourchart hope you're feeling better this morning.
It's a funny thing, the urge to cave / press the feck it button.
I've been lucky so far because I haven't had any cravings, though my tablets did help me not succumb.
But sometimes I think if I ever do get the urge, I'm just going to have a glass. I'm not seeing it as forbidden as I'm a bit of a rebel, personality wise.
And in the past, I think that's why I've failed to get past 10 days.
I hope that makes sense.
I'm not saying we should all get drunk this evening but I think I'd see finally that I'm not missing much.

Thanks for checking in @Goandygo♥️

Pleased to report I did not nip to Tesco last night. I got straight into bed after putting DS to bed and watched 10 things I hate about you alone then slept for almost 10 hours. It was just what I needed. DH and I are fine today but last night I just needed my space, which thankfully he respected.

I do still want wine this evening. I have now talked myself out of it but at one point I was talking myself into it. There are so many good reasons not to. I've also eaten a shit ton of chocolate today when I've done so well lately, so I'm wondering if it's a self sabotage thing??

Not quite sure. But today it is now exactly 2 months since my last drink. Tomorrow I get another star and a new monthly crystal. Thinking of that has actually helped my decision not to drink, but then I thought am I really not going to drink ever again? I don't know. I've got enough crystals and stars to get me to the 200 days, so maybe I should just focus on that for now. I know if I had some tonight I'd enjoy it in the moment then tomorrow I would feel shit and anxious. I'd probably have to take my beta blockers which I haven't needed at all for about a month. I've notice my health anxiety is hugely improved as well (maybe no need for beta blockers comes hand in hand with that?). So I really don't know why I want wine so much tonight. I think it's because I think it'll relax me, which of course it will on the surface but not really.

Waffling on now, sorry. How is everyone else doing?

@paintcolourchart self sabotaging has got a lot to answer for !!
Regarding the asking yourself whether you'll drink again, I think this is quite common. I think it's best to take it one day at a time and gradually the benefits are realised and recognised. At least it's that way for me.
I couldn't imagine drinking again. I can picture myself with a glass of champagne say Christmas day or new years eve, but equally I can picture myself with a glass of af fizz.
The health anxiety is definitely exacerbated by drinking. They are linked most definitely in my opinion.
Can you do anything else to relax ?
My go to is a bubble bath, some self care, fresh pjs and bed / a film or book.
I hope this helps. I know when I've been craving on other attempts and people mentioned a bath, I wanted to scream 🥴

@Goandygo I also realised that I haven't been swimming for a week now because I've been on, so I'm wondering if that's contributed. I was feeling really good physically and mentally and now it's like I just don't have that positive buzz anymore.

I've got the thatchers AF we got for camping but didn't drink. NGL pretty much the ONLY reason I didn't go to Tesco tonight is because I wouldn't have been able to get my 9th crystal star and my second crystal month tomorrow. I'm not sure I'll be as strong tomorrow night tbh.

I normally do some knitting to relax but I haven't got a project on the go atm and I don't really have the brain power to start something new (I only learned a year ago so it's not second nature yet). Otherwise swimming helps but I'm not going at this stage in my cycle. Tonight I'm not doing any work or study stuff and we're just watching crap tv, which doesn't normally relax me tbh but it's kind of doing the trick now. A bath does sound lovely, and I did almost run one this evening but with the size I am I just spend the whole bath time feeling shit about my post baby body. I have finally lost a bit of weight but I've lost that feel-good feeling I had about it last week (possibly hormone related?).

Bleugh. I guess this is the crash I've been anticipating.

How is everyone else doing?

I've also finished my book so I'd have to start something new, which I don't really have the brain power for atm either! I'm waiting for the adult version of the Jaqueline Wilson book to come in the local library but maybe I should just buy it as that's something I would start now. Cheaper than both of us buying a bottle of wine 🤷‍♀️

@paintcolourchart you sound stressed, overwhelmed and a little fed up. Maybe try to ride it out. Your crystals are working if you're looking forward to getting your new ones, so that's great.
I bet the fact you've not been able to go swimming is contributing to your low mood. You'll be able to go soon. Hang on in there.
I'd buy the book. You've obviously saved money and you deserve it.
As we say on mumsnet, this too shall pass ! ❤️