200 days alcohol free- anyone wish to join?

[FeelingLessTired]

Several years ago, under another user name I did a 100 day alcohol free challenge and alot of people joined me on MN. It was before covid, so a long time ago!

I really appreciated the support and lasted 120 days in the end. ironically enough DH joined me IRL and he just continued on and has been teetotal since then.

I was reading Annie Grace back then (I think) and her recommendation was that if you slip, to then challenge yourself for double the time- hence I now wish to start and achieve a 200 day challenge.

I'd love some company if anyone wishes to join me!

I have a funeral today and plan to drink J20 with tonic water. The deceased was a good friend of DH's and although he was in his early 70s drinking definitely played a part in his extreme fragility over the past few years. He's been really ill for a good ten years I think.

I have set out a spread sheet with my alcohol-free savings. In the last week i have definitely reduced and have saved just shy of £50 already (since the beginning of April) as we have had a fair few dinners and lunches out. I look at what I would have drunk (sauvignon blanc here and there) and when i have not had it I add that cost to my spreadsheet. That does help to inspire me because COL is biting us hard right now.

Oh @paintcolourchart regarding us still being tempted, a friend of mine said to feel completely free, it needs to be at least a year sober. I know this sounds daunting 🥴

Hi both - thanks as always for your support which I truly, from the bottom of my heart, appreciate.

I'm not sure how I am today. A friend died from an accident at the weekend which has been a total shock. DH found out today that the company he freelances for has gone bust so as of October we will lose 70% of our income. Currently these things are occupying my thoughts. I'm getting through moment by moment. But I am here and still on the thread if being more damp rather than dry.

Hope you are both well.

@FeelingLessTired I am so sorry for your loss. What a dreadful shock.
😪

Thank you, yes. We were meant to have lunch yesterday and our mutual friend came and said had I heard? I had because the info had come out on our local news service but I had not made the connection at that point.

@FeelingLessTired that's doubly shocking for you.
Just take it easy and be good to yourself. You've got a lot on your plate , together with your dh's news.

@FeelingLessTired have I read that right that you were supposed to meet your friend who passed away for lunch yesterday, but instead your mutual friend came to break the news? If I've read that right that is awful beyond words. I am so so sorry for your loss, you must be in total shock. I don't quite know what to say but I'm sorry you're going through this. Look after yourself and do what you need to do ♥️ so sorry to hear about DH's work situation too. I hope something else comes along soon for him. We are all here for you ♥️ xx

@Goandygo well, you are already a third of a way to year! What a reward it will be to never have it occupying your thoughts again. No cravings for me tonight - DH is away and I never fancy it when he's not here because I just know it's not something I do when I'm home alone with DC. Escaping out of his room now he's asleep, giving the kitchen a once over then going to settle in with my knitting project and prob find a film. Been looking forward to this all day actually!

Thanks @paintcolourchart . yes that was exactly the situation. We were all meeting together.

It is a shock. My friend was genuinely someone who I never heard say a bad word about anyone. She was very gentle, kind.

DH's situation- well, that news has not sunk in properly yet. We need to talk about it properly.

Sorry for the downer. Thank you both for your thoughts.

Today will be AF, no matter what.

best wishes to you both. xxx

@FeelingLessTired gosh that is awful. It's just not something you ever expect to happen in that way is it. Don't apologise for the downer - this group isn't just here for the congrats on how many days we've all reached. It's clear that alcohol is influenced and entwined by lots of lifestyle factors, and big shocking news like that is all part of it. Hope your talk with DH goes ok, I know it's stressful atm with losing his job but something else will come along before you know it, it's just temporary ♥️. I've seen this saying on other threads - IWNDWYT (I will not drink with you today).

@FeelingLessTired and anyone else, remember we're here if you have a wobble

@paintcolourchart I love that IWNDWYT.
@FeelingLessTired yes, please don't apologise for how you're feeling. All perfectly understandable ❤️

@paintcolourchart I didn't realise I was a third of the way there - thanks.
I know I'll be 200 days early December. That's my short term aim.
I woke up this morning worrying about my all inclusive carribean holiday in November - seriously I need to sort myself out.
But then I am worried about it so I can't really apologise for my feelings.
Anyway I've decided I'm going to see my gp nearer the time for antabuse / naltrexone, whatever it is, which will mean I can't drink or I'll be sick. That'll work.
One day at a time, tribe, for all for us, for many different situations ❤️💯

@Goandygo there's a thread on the Alcohol board about Naltrexone - by the sounds of it it's really hard to get through your GP. You might have more luck but just a heads up so you can get together a back up plan if needed. You've done amazingly well so far though, you are stronger than you know, you've shown that already (unlike me 😅😅) so you may not even need it.

Today would have been Day 80 for me. Imagine! But 3 days short of that and then gaining control again is amazing progress for me, so I am still pleased. Currently sitting outside in the last of the summer sun with the cats and some study papers. Feeling content!

@paintcolourchart thank you for that. Yes, I have read online that it is quite difficult. I was wondering if they've got anything else 🤣
But I know what you mean - I actually think I can do it. I don't want to drink after all. It's just being in The Moment, pressing that feck it button. And 1 family member especially will pressure me.
To be fair, ( it's dh's family and we don't see them regularly. In fact last time was 2 years ago when we holidayed and drank from breakfast onwards), they do know me as a drinker. They will be shocked as drinking was what I did.
Sad but true.
I was telling my sister this morning and if I did drink, I think I'd be back on it by Xmas. I'd probably say I'll start again in the new year. And that wouldn't happen.

Morning all

still here, still sober (day 247).

@Goandygo huge congrats to you!

@FeelingLessTired @paintcolourchart sorry to hear you’ve both had some struggles. It’s tricky to manage being af once you’ve got a good chunk of time under your belt - have we fixed the problem? Well yes physically we can go without a drink, but mentally it’s harder to let go of.

instead of feeling regret, think how you’d like your life to look going forward. Would you like to drink on occasion? There’s no failure in sticking to healthy levels of drinking compared to where we started.

for me, I know I couldn’t stick to that long term. Even now, I can’t imagine having just one glass and stopping after that. I would end up drinking a whole bottle then want more the next night - but I think I may have addictive personality traits (who knows?).

what idoknow is that nobody in the world cares if we have had a blip or have only done 30 out of 35 af days so don’t let that put you off. Equally please don’t use it as an excuse to give up (if of course you want to carry on!) I’m trying to,ove to the mindset that it is ok to allow myself a drink on special occasions, if I want one but I’ve struggled with the concept for me.

i hope you all have a good day regardless x

I've contacted my gp. Got a telephone appointment a week today to discuss antabuse.
I'll be glad to take it off the table 💪

Good on you @Goandygo

''what idoknow is that nobody in the world cares if we have had a blip or have only done 30 out of 35 af days so don’t let that put you off. ''

This makes SO much sense to me @88expertprocastinator thank you. I always think in terms of letting others down. This is about me. Not other people. Thank you. xx

@88expertprocastinator yes, you do make so much sense.
When I think of all the times I've caved, then just completely given up. I should have just kept going !
I actually had a moment last week when I gave my head a mumsnet wobble regarding The Holiday.
I've paid for it, it's my hard earned money and I'll do it the way I want !!
It's got nothing to do with anyone else.

@Goandygo it's interesting you view it as they'll think it's odd if you don't drink because they know you as a drinker because I sort of see it the other way around 😂 I feel like I'd get a 'well yes, no wonder. good idea' response!

@88expertprocastinator wow day 247!! Amazing!! Do you find you still get cravings and think about it? I think I've shown myself that I would just slip back to my old ways. I came so close to having a whisky after the wine the other day and I probably wouldn't have stopped at one at that's when my issues really come to head. If I could have a bottle and not want anything else then I'd be ok with that, but I can't always.

Good point about blips. Strangely I'm not letting them putting me off, I'm using them to show me that abstinence is the best way for me. My sobriety tracker is showing me that my health is almost up to 70% now which is great, and whilst I have had 3 'blips' there's no way that those 3 bottles of wine have put my health back to 0! Try Dry now says current streak as 4 days but I'm ok with that as I've got the other app counting 80+ days and I just know in my head it's less 3!

So glad you've got an app booked @Goandygo! I bet you find you don't even need it but it's good to have a safety net. Your holiday will be amazing and think how proud you'll be of yourself when you've done it all AF. Think of all the extra time and experiences you'll have because you won't feel like shit as well!

I'm doing ok today, no craving for the last few days. Got a really productive weekend planned so won't have time for wine!

Saw this on Insta yesterday and it resonated with my 'blips' so sharing it here x

@paintcolourchart its weird cause I don’t get cravings but I’ll spend days thinking about whether to have a drink in a particular situation- then I think it through and how I will feel after one drink. I then realize I won’t feel good and just park the idea to another time.

@FeelingLessTired youre so right - we are doing this for ourselves not for anyone else! I’m not posting as often as I’m trying to just live rather than reach a goal. I definitely do not want to feel like I’ve failed if I have one drink but I’m very aware that it’s a slippery slope and that 1 may lead to many.

@paintcolourchart 🤣 - that made me laugh. I never thought of it like that.
Love the insta - so true.
Great result from your tracker !

Thanks @88expertprocastinator - good to know!

So again, I almost caved last night. I don't know what is wrong with me - why was it almost plain sailing for basically 50+ days and now I'm thinking about caving after only 3 days. I suppose I've answered my own question there, because I've had some. I remember the first 2 weeks, and 1st week in particular being the hardest, and I guess I've been there again for the last couple of weeks since I caved the first time. Anyway, I had a really sweet dessert with a cup of tea (definitely helped!), got my knitting out and watched MAFS, and before I knew it the craving had passed and I was so glad I didn't give in.

Got another Instagram quote for you all below 😅

How's everyone doing? @FeelingLessTired - how are you?

@paintcolourchart I know it's only an expression but there is nothing wrong with you. You nearly caved. But you didn't. It's all part and parcel of the process. That's why I don't think it's a big deal of we do cave - it's a learning process. The insta quote is so true. We've said it on here - you're building stronger muscles 💪
( @FeelingLessTired I hope you're ok. I wasn't sure if you were taking a break from here, which is perfectly understandable).

Last night, I looked on YouTube for our holiday. I wondered if it would tempt me or make me feel differently. I had a fleeting moment when I thought I could delay the medication and drink but it was only fleeting - for me, it boils down to the fact that I don't want to feel rough on holiday. I've missed so many sunny days on holiday because I was confined to the room. Shocking.
Also, saw the free mini bar. I was dreading that previously but it's spirits ( none of which I'd drink), red stripe ( lovely for dh), and soft drinks. Brilliant obviously for me.
Forearmed is the best way for me 💪

Morning- sorry for silence. i am here, just flat and low and not really reading much.

Hope you are all okay.

I hear you about losing days on holiday @Goandygo !

I have a plan for going forwards but want to sit and think about it for a day or so before committing on here, if that makes sense. But yes, I will be back to AF and am planning to really re-commit. Just can't manage it right now. But I will not drop off the thread.

Love to all. xx

@FeelingLessTired take your time ❤️