Day 1 or 100 tulips and snowdrops say #browniesnotbeer

[CoffeeLover90]

Didn't think I'd be worthy, being so new to these threads, but an amazingly brave woman managed to drive past a shop today and not give into cravings. And I was one of the people that were thanked. I'm humbled.
I may not post on here daily, life, child and pets demand attention but I hope people find what I have from this- encouragement, reassurance and no judgement.

It's been almost a year since I began drinking 3 to 7 days per week. In that time I've many failed attempts to stop or moderate.
I'm now on my longest dry spell since my first attempt. Day 21, with @AFmammaG beside me.
I have no plans for September. I'm in an hour by hour, day by day situation.
I will do Sober for October. Definitely. No doubt.

#browniesnotbeer came to mind when another poster mentioned they'd 'rage ate' a brownie rather than pour a drink. I've turned to food but balancing that with exercise and telling myself it will be easier to cut out chocolate. Although I could be lying to myself there...

www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5066932-day-1-or-1000-all-welcome-on-the-tulips-and-snowdrops-thread?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Day 4 today.. however Sunday is my trigger day. I'm avoiding going shopping today as that will lead to too much temptation, therefore meals today are likely to be a bit hit and miss.
I'm pleased with myself so far...I keep googling hypnotherapy programmes as I think I might give them a try.

Wow @MissSmith80 that’s so impressive and lovely to read. Gives me an added boost of confidence that I can do this too.

Hoping today goes well for everyone. @Iamateadrinker I would also have to avoid going shopping to avoid temptation although when I am feeling more confident/have a longer dry streak in my pocket then I have been known to look at the drinks aisle in the supermarket and say quietly how good it is not to be going there today! And I always enjoy how much cheaper my shopping bill is without alcohol!!

I have a quiet day today with various chores/admin to do and then watching my DD play her sport this afternoon. All better sober.

Happy Sundays to you all

I'm having a duvet day as I have a stinking cold.
Although this last week has been hectic, I've been productive, the week before even more so.
Actually looking into next week with a positive attitude for once.

Start of a new week. I hope everyone is doing okay?

Hope you're not feeling too rotten today @CoffeeLover90

Fairly quiet weekend here. The cravings struck me very badly on Saturday after DC having colossal tantrum. I feel like the worst for saying this, because not drinking would be best in the long run for me and my family, but DC is a huge trigger to drink. The tantrums are just appalling. They leave me depleted.

So that set me off into this awful spiral of wine witch chatter. "Why don't you just drink on:-
Saturdays
Holidays
Going out
Staying in
Special occasions
Abroad"
Etc. Jesus it was relentless for about 5 hours but somehow I got through it. I think the Nozeco was a life saver. I've been okay since then but a bit shaken because it felt like the cravings came from nowhere. If I'd had booze in the house or even been given "permission" by someone else, I could have come very close to caving and it's shook me up a bit.

Hello everyone. I’m slinking back after joining this board in May, doing reasonably well cutting back my intake for a while, and then completely falling off the wagon again. I’ve been back to drinking a bottle a night and it needs to stop!

Last week I managed three days sober for the first time in months, and am planning to do the same this week. Today is Monday and I will not drink today. Hope everyone has a great AF day!

@Steppered DS is my trigger and I feel awful about that, I'd never tell him, even as a joke. I remember that terrifying feeling when you think you're over the worst then get completely took over by the cravings. It happened in dry July and, even though I got over the craving, it shook me for a couple of days.

@flowers2024 well done on the cut backs last week!

Day 9- I started Christmas shopping yesterday.

Hey @flowers2024 welcome on in. Hope today goes well for you.

Thanks @CoffeeLover90 , it's nice to hear I'm not alone. I feel really guilty but honestly, it's a huge trigger. So hard isn't it. Yeah, the cravings slammed on day 51 which felt so out of the blue. I hadn't really had drink cravings as such, probably because my last blackout put me off so much. So the strength with which they arrived was scary. Grateful to have got through it without drinking. Fuck you, wine witch!

Morning all 😊
feeling good after a very chilled weekend, family get together went ok one auntie kept bringing up the fact that I was doing sober October and how next time don’t be!! Little does she know 😂 one thought when I got home after sipping two lemonades was firstly I’m glad I didn’t drink wine and secondly if I had of drunk none of them were drinking it at the pace I would’ve been so would have been totally pointless I would have just been concentrating on the top up of more drink so was able to enjoy conversations without my head going mad about the next drink!!.
hope your feeling better today @CoffeeLover90 keep up with the positives here’s for another productive week!!
Hi @Steppered these cravings creep up on us and sometimes they come from nowhere!! I really sympathise with everyone who has stress from your younger children honestly I don’t think I could have got through some of my days without the wine it’s tough!! So the fact you’re doing this I take my hat off to you all. As much as we love our children they do stress the life out of us so I can see why that’s a trigger because it was massively for me I didn’t have any other tools to use so unfortunately I would think nothing of a binge couple of nights a week.
But believe me it’s a hell of a lot tougher with the hangover plus the guilt and shame that I would feel for being a crappy parent!! And have less patience with them the next day. Sorry you had the torment from the wine witch!! But you made it through so massive well done to you 😊
welcome back @flowers2024 well done on your sober 3 days last week!! You can get back to where you was it’s no surprise that the drinking has gone full circle and you end up where you started I’ve been there many times which has led me to know I can’t moderate anymore

Welcome @flowers2024, nice to have you on the thread. Yes, that is the risk of going back to trying to control having a couple of drinks every now and then. It quickly creeps up.

It was lovely to read your post @MissSmith80, almost a year! Amazing. I’d love to be in that position at some point.

I’ve just stopped work for some lunch, cranking through the list of jobs today. The diet last week was awful 🫣 I just gave in and didn’t do enough exercise. I have had a healthy lunch today and I’ll keep on trying! Never give up and all that! Have a good week everyone.

This cold is a lot worse AHHHH
The kind where everything hurts, I feel the cold in my bones, my head is pounding, my ears are blocked.
I'm feeling very sorry for myself.
Stuff the diet. I'm having pizza and chocolate. Then I'm going to cry..

So I’m on my way home from work and guess what - all I can think about is how much I want a glass of wine! My brain is telling me I deserve it after a long day at work - and just a couple of glasses won’t hurt. This time of day is the worst!

@flowers2024 6pm to 8pm is my weakest time. I had to avoid shops in the beginning. Then at home think I'll see how I feel after a shower, a cup of tea, after I've washed these dishes... then eventually it'd pass.
Hope you're OK

Thanks Coffee. I’m pleased to say that I’m safely in bed and AF. Goodnight all!

Morning all 😊
nice to hear from you @AFmammaG heres to a healthier week I also had a lot of chocolate last week 🤦🏻‍♀️ need to find an alternative.
Hope you feel better @CoffeeLover90 that time of year start picking up colds/flu also some of my customers have had Covid so think that’s on the rise again!!
well done @flowers2024 fir resisting the wine witch like @CoffeeLover90 said it’s all about distracting yourself if you tell yourself after the bath, dinner doing the dishes time passes and you won’t want it instead of outright saying no in that moment. Personally I never really drank alone at home so I don’t have experience in the daily cravings but I can imagine how hard it must be if you’re used to wine every day so great work!! 😊

Well done @flowers2024, yes, those hours are difficult for me too.

I’ve almost finished reading the sober diaries. Hated it 😆 for many reasons but whilst I can’t ruin it for others by giving away a big part of the book, I didn’t like her humour. Mine is very different. I also didn’t find listening to a sahm doing yoga or shopping very relatable either.

Anyway, does anyone have a recommendation for something a bit more real? A bit harder? I’ve read the Bryony Gordon one. I want one where the person explains the struggle and how they dealt with it. Not the William Porter book, read that!

Hit me up with book suggestions people!

@AFmammaG I didn't enjoy the sober diaries either. This naked mind was the most helpful to me (but doesn't really meet what you are looking for) and I liked Catherine Gray.
@CoffeeLover90 hope you are feeling better soon.
Day 21 here.Had an AF beer Sunday which I don't normally drink but it stopped a craving.
Already being invited to christmas parties.Already offering to drive so I can't get tempted and trying to take it daily.The cutting down in sugar is not going so well!
@flowers2024 and @Steppered I have triggers everywhere.Teens a big one.Er...evenings, weekend afternoons, the sofa, Fridays, opening a cupboard!Wonder if it will ever be something I don't have to be constantly mindful of.I felt like that about cigarettes once though and now can't imagine smoking so here's hoping

I'd recommend Beyond Booze by Sarah Rusbatch. Can really relate to the grey area drinking and she is a good egg. I also read a fiction book a few years ago by Amanda Prowse, called Another Love, and it has really stayed with me. She is another good egg.

Lots of sugar going on here still too. Oh well. At least it's not wine.

Great work on 21 days!! @growinguptobreakingdown i don’t like beer but I do like the corona AF weird isn’t it but can only envision having that in the summer nice and cold!! Prosecco is my trigger drink that cold in the fridge would freak me out I would be obsessed with it 🤦🏻‍♀️
i also gave up smoking last year and I never thought that was possible and I don’t think about the cigarettes anymore so here’s hoping!! But sugar will be a hard one 😂the joy of being sober is a good read other than that I’m more of a podcast girly no time to read or I loose concentration!! I like sober awkward vic is soo funny I love her humour I think she has book called a thousand wasted Sundays but I’ve not read it waiting for the audiobook

Steppered - you were really kind to me on here last week. Don’t feel badly. My children are an ENORMOUS trigger to me. Sounds appalling to say. But it’s true. But fair play to you for riding it out. You should be super proud of yourself. But can see why you’re shaken. This isn’t linear though is it ❤️

@ThistimeIneedtostop it certainly isn't linear.Had a ridiculous day at work yesterday finishing 3 hours late and DD17 had a meltdown just as I sat down at 9pm.Husband poured himself another huge glass of red and I honestly don't know how I didn't grab it off him and neck it. So glad I didn't this morning.This thread was in the back of my mind keeping me sober.
There is this readily available liquid that numbs stress and is highly addictive and we are all managing to not have it with children and teens and wine quaffing husbands in the room.Plus a bunch of people inviting us to drink it and it being served everywhere we go...even my hairdressers has a cocktail menu!Going to buy some books @Chance21 and @Steppered recommend and keep on it.

Thanks for your kind message @ThistimeIneedtostop , appreciate it. Feeling calmer today thankfully!

Yes, that pesky readily available liquid @growinguptobreakingdown where there is some sort of unwritten code of drinking just the right amount, not too much, otherwise it's your fault - ?! Gah

Here's a little winner I'm onto at the moment. Teeny tiny acts of self-care. I'm not talking anything like a spa day, no no, my teeny tiny acts of self-care this week have been:
-Unsubscribing from emails I no longer want
-Cutting those bloody hanging ribbons out of tops and dresses. Snip, snip!
-Chucking stuff away
-When I'm working from home, lighting a scented candle in my office
-Taking an umbrella out for me. I usually just huddle under my raincoat and give an umbrella to DC. No, I am deserving of my own umbrella.

Lovely idea @Steppered ! Small things like that make a big difference I find.

Another AF day for me yesterday, meaning I’ve done 3 days last week and 2 this week. My sleep is already so much better - I feel like my body is catching up on months of lost sleep due to alcohol. I do wake up sometimes in the night still, but go back to sleep quickly, as opposed to lying awake for several hours.

To get through the evening yesterday, I used the technique suggested on here of saying to myself, I’ll just put the laundry away, then have a glass… I’ll just cook dinner, then have a drink… before I knew it, it was 10pm and time for bed! So thanks for that, it really worked for me.

Morning all, everyone seems to be doing well.
This cold may be the death of me.
I always crave rubbish food when poorly.
I don't have an umbrella. DS has a child size batman one, which I'm rather jealous of. I've had around 3 million umbrellas in my life, I can't tell you where they went. Probably the same place as my 7.5 million pairs of gloves.

Oh! Yesterday I was given a brownie from someone at work (how kind) they don't even know my #browniesnotbeer group.
I saved it all day to have at home with a hot chocolate, fished out to find it had been reduced to crumbs. Silly me had put laptop on top of it. Silly me held back tears.

Ahh @CoffeeLover90 , could you smush the crumbs back together?! Gutted for you. Hope you feel better soon & you too deserve an umbrella x