Day 1 or 100 tulips and snowdrops say #browniesnotbeer

[CoffeeLover90]

Didn't think I'd be worthy, being so new to these threads, but an amazingly brave woman managed to drive past a shop today and not give into cravings. And I was one of the people that were thanked. I'm humbled.
I may not post on here daily, life, child and pets demand attention but I hope people find what I have from this- encouragement, reassurance and no judgement.

It's been almost a year since I began drinking 3 to 7 days per week. In that time I've many failed attempts to stop or moderate.
I'm now on my longest dry spell since my first attempt. Day 21, with @AFmammaG beside me.
I have no plans for September. I'm in an hour by hour, day by day situation.
I will do Sober for October. Definitely. No doubt.

#browniesnotbeer came to mind when another poster mentioned they'd 'rage ate' a brownie rather than pour a drink. I've turned to food but balancing that with exercise and telling myself it will be easier to cut out chocolate. Although I could be lying to myself there...

www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5066932-day-1-or-1000-all-welcome-on-the-tulips-and-snowdrops-thread?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

@Steppered there was no saving it. It was home made as well. Very traumatic.
Also the fact that I've managed to rid the world of so many umbrellas already says I really don't deserve one haha
I'm settled down now, watching some stand up to cheer me up.

I am deserving of my own umbrella
Loving this and you know what? I’m totally guilty of being too tired/lazy to do my self care. Trying really hard to make positive changes.

Well done to everyone resisting. I am struggling, I’m not going to lie. I tend to go quiet when I don’t have anything useful to contribute. It’s just life right now. The kids, the to do list, feeling stress. I feel a bit like a pressure cooker about to blow.

Oh and the diets gone out the window too. Fabulous.

@AFmammaG I seem to have put on weight. It's down to work as I barely move all day and it's been 10 hour days this week.I'm only 3 days a week so going to move my body at a running club today and get serious about eating healthier.I keep thinking I'll have chocolate as I'm not drinking but I can't keep that up and fit my clothes.I'm just substituting one for the other.

I think I am deserving of my own umbrella is a contender for the next thread title.

Yesterday my DS was sanctioned at school (again). I think they are too quick to punish but I also want to support them. I’m totally conflicted.

DH just has no opinion on anything, happy to delegate the lot to me. He doesn’t know the names of the kids teachers let alone what class or year they are in. I’ve touched on this before on the thread but it does leave resentment on my side. I just feel like he does less and less and ignores the fact I’m on my knees. At least we used to split the weekends but it feels like he’s relying on me to even organise that too now. I’m a bit worried he’s losing the ability to be independent. We are obviously aging and I’m looking forward to life restarting once the kids grow up, whereas it feels like he is looking to wind down/retire 😬 it’s been playing on my mind recently.

Day 8
Just checking in
I'm trying something different this time.. rather than
I will improve my diet
I will exercise
I will get on top of housework etc etc all in..big changes
My ONLY job is
Don't drink
Hopefully everything else will fall into place at some point.
I think I try to improve everything at once, inevitably fail and turn to wine to make me feel better.
Hope everyone is doing well

Hey @Iamateadrinker , that's exactly the approach I'm taking. AF is the goal. Anything else is a bonus! Very well done on your 8 days.

How's the cold @CoffeeLover90 , hope you're feeling better.

@AFmammaG I did wonder, as you'd gone quiet. Sounds like quite a conundrum you have with your DH. He really does need to step up. Can you arrange to do something on your own/with friends over a weekend and leave him to do everything? It might get the message through? Difficult. Sorry about the school sanction too...I do find they can be draconian at times. And it's hard because you don't want to be that parent who goes steaming in but also don;t want your kid do have extra anxiety.

@growinguptobreakingdown is it maybe muscle from the exercise? Hard as these cold wet times draw in and you want to be cozy and eat stodge. I'm just ignoring my weight at the moment and sticking with AF. One problem at a time, otherwise I'm overwhelmed.

I had a good night yesterday. DH and I had a “date night” planned at home after the DC went to bed. Instead of getting home and immediately cracking open a bottle, as I’d usually do, I waited until the kids were asleep before having my first drink. We shared one bottle of Prosecco between us and then I took myself to bed rather than starting on another bottle of wine.

Drinking ‘only’ half a bottle is unheard of for me, so I’m pleased that I managed to moderate successfully. My sleep was slightly disrupted but not majorly so. Back on the wagon today to complete my third AF day this week!

Nice one @flowers2024 , my bottles of prosecco were mine and mine only, never for sharing...

Afternoon all
hope all is well 😊
not much going on work, gym eat sleep which is great!! And repeat seeing some old friends for a curry on Saturday but already told them not drinking as I’m doing sober October and have a 5k park run on Sunday.
Just got my first parking fine 🤦🏻‍♀️ turning right down a road I wasn’t allowed too £65 down the drain!! Money making schemes everywhere these days.
I would have ate the brownie @CoffeeLover90 crumbs even!! 😂 hope the cold has gotten better.
Im still eating a lifetime supply of chocolate at every opportunity so know the feeling @growinguptobreakingdown but I’d still rather that then start drinking again!! Just need to try and move more eventually it should all even out 🤷🏻‍♀️
@Steppered we all need some self care we deserve to look after us we are important too 😊
hope you’re doing ok @AFmammaG you really should let your husband take over at the weekend give yourself a break if that’s possible.
well done on day 8 @Iamateadrinker thats a great mindset to have all that matters for now is not drinking that’s a massive improvement in itself!! You can do this 👍🏻
great work @flowers2024 well done that’s amazing because if I opened a bottle of Prosecco it would be gone in no time and it would be more like 2 bottles. Every small win builds up.
hope every one else is going ok 😊

Brownies all round - today is 1 year of being a non drinker.

I cannot believe that the Try Dry app tells me I've saved more than £3k (based on an £8 bottle of wine a day and a bit more at weekends which, to be honest, is probably an underestimate). Also 212k calories

I am a bit concerned about what happens next, I can feel an inclination to try and moderate again but I know it doesn't work.

But for now, I'm going to enjoy my Nozecco and set some new goals tomorrow.

Whoop whoop massive congratulations @MissSmith80 what an achievement you should be so proud of yourself, I hope I get to write those words in time!!
I love the stats there!! Way to go hopefully you can treat yourself to something nice with some of the money you’ve saved.
i think it’s only normal to have the fear of being tricked into moderation again maybe start reading quit lit or listen to podcasts if you’ve stopped I always find them a good reminder of what it was like or could be like if I were to start again keeps it real for me. But for now just enjoy your moment because that is a big milestone 🥳😊

Many congratulations @MissSmith80 - a really amazing achievement. Hope you alllow yourself to feel proud and then start setting yourself whatever next goals feel right for you.

Congratulations @MissSmith80, what an achievement you deserve to feel really proud 😊

I do love reading everyone’s updates. Even when not doing so well myself it’s inspiring. @Chance21 hearing about your 5k run on a Sunday morning being a case in point!

Had one hell of a day at work today. Got home to a vm from MiL asking me to go round to help her with something, so I do the school run and take the kids over there and help. Then we go and do the shopping. Then get home, unpack the shopping, I fed them, clear up and get DD to her club. Then I get home, DH walks through the door and watches me unload the dishwasher while he does a brain dump and then heads off to ‘finish some work’.

This just sucks. Thinking objectively I can say ‘do you want to help’ or similar but I just end up feeling like a nag the whole time. Somethings got to change. I just need to work out how/what. Now I will put the kids to bed while he eats his dinner.

I'm near death. This is man flu. I am a woman with man flu.
Despite that well done everyone! Especially @MissSmith80 I love hearing perspectives of long time giveupers. The journeys usually mess, which gives me hope. I'm not failing.
@Iamateadrinker This is the exact approach I had. I need to work on many things but the rest are a lot easier to deal with while sober.
@Chance21 I'm afraid you underestimate the state of the brownie (RIP) I should have got a photo, so you could all share in my grief.
@AFmammaG I'm sorry the family issues continue. It's not your sole responsibility to manage everything but I know the feeling of 'if I don't who will' and that's a heavy load to carry.
I have no idea what to suggest, I'm sure you'll have tried more things than I can think of. I'm also sure that the kids notice, I had a similar dynamic, and they will credit you for everything when they're older. Which of course, doesn't help you now.
Too many people have their heads up their own arses. It's made an introvert of me.

Massive congratulations @MissSmith80 on your 1 year, 1 day! That is INCREDIBLE! So pleased for you.

@AFmammaG if this carries on you're going to snap my love. I know I'm the default parent/housekeeper too, despite also having a full-time job and it does get VERY frustrating sometimes.

Hope you feel better today @CoffeeLover90

How's everyone feeling about the weekend ahead?
I've got an event Saturday but I feel ok about not drinking. I don't massively want to go but it's for my friend so won't let her down. I think I might just ask for a lemonade in a gin balloon so I get left alone!

Thanks @Steppered I'm over the worst now, yesterday my sinuses caused a lot of pain that's now cleared.
My hibernation has begun, I have no intention of participating in anything unless early starts are involved, that way I have another incentive not to drink.
Fridays and Saturdays are the hardest for me, I realised I haven't even thought of it until now. I don't have a desire to pick up any for later though. Great progress, feeling good now.
Will be thinking of you tomorrow.
Hope the weekend is good to you all.

Good morning everyone 😊
happy sober Saturday to everyone!! Love waking up with no hangovers having the whole weekend ahead.
will be off to the gym this morning then out for a curry later which I’m excited for the food for once!! 😂 company should be ok although last time everyone just spoke about problems so I tend to zone out maybe I’ll just start a more positive topic!!
hope everyone has a great weekend wether that be out or just at home to chill! We all need to recharge the batteries!!
how’s sober October going for everyone? Thankfully alcohol hasn’t really been on my mind so I’m grateful for that, my sleep is soo good now takes me five minutes to go off and I don’t wake up until my alarm the best sleep I’ve had in years. Weight is still the same because of treats but I know once I can get into a healthier mindset with snacking I should loose some unwanted pounds doesn’t help with the cold weather kicking in don’t really fancy a salad now!! 😂 rambling today!! Just a reminder that life does get better without booze!! No depression and no anxiety I’m sure exercise plays a massive part in that also so if anyone is struggling try to get outside and move. Hope everyone’s Saturday night holds no temptation to drink just think how good you’ll feel waking up tomorrow 😊

Good morning!Still sober.Friends for dinner last night and I drank AF fizz from M&S.Stuck it in a champagne glass and didn't feel like I was missing out.
3rd time I've been out now and each time someone in the group I'm with has seen I'm not drinking and decided to join me which is interesting.Does this happen to anyone else?
I get a bit quiet as everyone else gets more drunk and I stop joining in conversation .No one is really listening anyway!I end up just observing and seeing how it is affecting them all (jokes fall flat, people say things they would be embarrassed of sober).
Went to bed and DH dealt with an upset DD (asd) impatiently which made her meltdown go on longer.100% because he had been drinking and didn't have the mindset to just listen to her.Sat up with her and helped her calm down and I'm proud that I was sober to be able to do this.
So...many, many reasons NOT to drink right there!

@growinguptobreakingdown I've definitely found I've been calmer the last couple of months. I've been more productive at work, something my manager commented on 2 weeks ago, I have more energy too. I'm more focused and the few times I have drank, I didn't go overboard.
This started as a reply to you but ended up being a list of reasons for me to keep going haha.
I've been careful who I spend time with too, I've a friend group who drink a little or not at all. There's others who would laugh off my attempts to stop/cut down, so I've been distancing myself.
Looking forward to a bath and an early night.

Good morning all
happy sober Sunday!! 😊
woke up with a groggy head today, think it’s a mix of eating food late and having a late night night was up till 11!! I’m normally asleep by 9 now I’m not partying anymore.
That being said I’m 50 days sober today!! Massive win for me never thought I’d get this far. So will do something nice this afternoon after my 5k run 😨
still a lot of questions getting fired at me for not drinking at the dinner table last night apparently I’m quite and yes they’re right!! Well done Sherlock for spotting the obvious 😂 I’m ok with that.
that’s great to hear @growinguptobreakingdown I wish some of my friends would jump on board!! And join me and without being a judgmental bitch I see a lot of them should!! But I can’t push anything onto anybody so just me that isn’t drinking atm!! I think my circle will get smaller. Can imagine your daughter really appreciated that moment with you it’s lovely to hear that you was able to be there for her, I have a lot of regrets where I didn’t show up for my children.
great to hear how more productive you’ve been @CoffeeLover90 it’s good to talk about the positives as it shows us how much better life can be and how much more we can get out of life!! Some of my worst binges and hangovers left me not wanting to physically or mentally do anything totally destroyed me I’m just so grateful to not be having that feeling on a weekly basis I would definitely not be running anywhere!! 😂 hope everyone has a rested Sunday!! Nearly half way through October look at us all doing soo well 😊

Can I join please?

Well done to all of you - such an inspiring thread.

3 months sober, alone in a hotel in Stuttgart this weekend with a beer festival going on around me. It's bloody hard. Tbh, am sick of life currently.

But, in 3 months I have lost THREE STONE! that's how many needless calories I was drinking.sloely getting back into exercise.

@Chance21 50 days is great!As is your running.I just wrote out a list of exercise reps to do today then went back to bed.Not sure that counts as exercise!
@ijustneedtokeepbreathing welcome! 3 stone is amazing.Have you changed your diet too?I've put on 1/2 stone mainly because I'm hibernating and swapping alcohol for snacks. Exercising more but definitely need to get some healthy eating motivation as my next step.It can wait until I have a few more weeks under my belt.
I love waking up hangover free.The dogs getting walked more and longer, the house is clean, I've put all my summer clothes in vacumn pack bags (unheard of levels of grownupness) and today I am looking forward to taking DD17 to the shops.
I have also told DH that I will drive us home on Christmas day which means I can't drink and that we don't have to stay over at relatives so we get boxing day at home.This may seem early to organise but it is already being assumed we stay so everyone can drink and I don't want to do either.

@growinguptobreakingdown I've found that giving up booze has automatically led to diet changes in that I am not constantly eating way through the hangovers 🤣 and the temptation to graze while drinking is no longer there. Then I started looking at food in a more conscious way and seeing it as a way to nourish myself a bit more. So yes, my diet has changed as well but not in a way that's felt restrictive etc.

Hurray for waking up hangover free!

Morning all 😊
hope everyone had a great weekend!!
really enjoyed my 5k run yesterday managed in 25 mins so pleased with that next challenge 10k on treadmill this week.
welcome @ijustneedtokeepbreathing well done on the 3 months sober and the weight lost that’s amazing!!
I never used to eat much on a hangover I was always beating myself up for doing embarrassing things so I would just want to sleep and hide!! And pretty much die 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 but I love all the sugar now!! Hoping the running will burn some off!!
Sounds like a great plan @growinguptobreakingdown Christmas is a huge trigger for me I just think that’s when a lot of drinking happens is expected the festivities and all that!! Will be going away for Christmas this year so hoping I won’t struggle too much!! Just need to keep telling myself it’s poison and doesn’t add anything to my life!!

@Chance21 25min 5k is fast!Good to have a goal and running is great for that.Night alone last night so watched Lonely Planet on Netflix.Seems to be quite a few films with younger men falling in love with older woman at the moment and I am all here for Laura Dern and Liam Hemsworth (although she would be ripped to shreds online if she dated dated him in real life).Anyway it was exactly what I needed last night with a mug of chai.