Day 1 or 100 tulips and snowdrops say #browniesnotbeer

[CoffeeLover90]

Didn't think I'd be worthy, being so new to these threads, but an amazingly brave woman managed to drive past a shop today and not give into cravings. And I was one of the people that were thanked. I'm humbled.
I may not post on here daily, life, child and pets demand attention but I hope people find what I have from this- encouragement, reassurance and no judgement.

It's been almost a year since I began drinking 3 to 7 days per week. In that time I've many failed attempts to stop or moderate.
I'm now on my longest dry spell since my first attempt. Day 21, with @AFmammaG beside me.
I have no plans for September. I'm in an hour by hour, day by day situation.
I will do Sober for October. Definitely. No doubt.

#browniesnotbeer came to mind when another poster mentioned they'd 'rage ate' a brownie rather than pour a drink. I've turned to food but balancing that with exercise and telling myself it will be easier to cut out chocolate. Although I could be lying to myself there...

www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5066932-day-1-or-1000-all-welcome-on-the-tulips-and-snowdrops-thread?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Sorry to hear @AFmammaG. My DD is late teens now but I can totally relate to those feelings when she was younger. I know you didn’t ask for opinions but I also think it was the responsibility of the dog owner to either have them on a less or have confidence in their recall.
I really hope you have a better day tomorrow - you deserve it.

Morning all 😊
so glad it’s Friday!!
@AFmammaG I hope you have a better day today and had a restful sleep, on the children front I wish I could tell you it gets easier but it really doesn’t sorry! 🤦🏻‍♀️ my household was chaos until they reached teenage years 15/16 I was hungover through a lot of this believe me doing it on my own was even harder. But peace has been restored now I think most parents go through this but not a lot speak about it like to project the perfect family life.
By the way the Outrun was really good wasn’t sure at first but once I got into it was really insightful and was a few parts in the film that resonated with me so brought up weird feelings like when she wakes up and doesn’t remember the night before I felt that!! So definitely worth a watch.
what’s everyone got planned for the weekend??
another chilled one for me gym, walks, Netflix and snacks!!
hope everyone has a great Friday 😊

@AFmammaG you and your child were not at fault.That's all on the dog owner for ruining your day.If I see a child and I'm with my dog she instantly goes on the lead.
It is really hard parenting and super hard navigating school with a ND childI've spent the last 2 years trying to get my ADHD DD15 into school.Luckily school are supportive and finally with meds we have had a positive start to the term.The fact that she is happy is probably why I'm findng it easier not to drink at the moment.Thinking about it the reason I have had so many attempts to give up was that I knew I couldn't cope with managing her AND add alcohol to the mix.I needed to be sober and hangover free.It has been enough without adding alcohol to the mix.I still feel anxious every morning wondering if I'll get her in due to anxiety or will be ill (medical issues too).
However ,having later teens is so much easier for me.DD17 has autism and she really knows how to manage herself -or we do.She has really come into herself in year 13.It really has got easier.I don't stress about school attendance or results for DD15.Just hand in the medical evidence and focus on her and our relationship.School really could have ruined that and it's just not worth it.

Thank you all and for @Iamaf for* *what you said about me posting. I’m never really sure whether it’s ok to offload on this thread because what happened yesterday wasn’t on the surface related to drinking. Except it was. Because when I got home I felt absolutely desperate for a drink. My crutch. I was pacing the kitchen at one point with a pint of water in my hand. Usually I would jump on the treadmill until that passes but I couldn’t face that either. I didn’t want to be productive. I was tired of pretending. I wanted to drink.

I guess the miracle of yesterday was that I didn’t. I didn’t down a bottle of wine. I didn’t vape in my lounge. I didn’t stumble to bed while trying to be quiet. Instead I had a shower, did my face skincare and checked on the kids. Who were sleeping soundly. I didn’t sleep soundly but I can promise you I woke up feeling better this morning than I would have done if I had drank. So that’s what progress looks like for me.

My day 17 update.Day off yesterday and it was great.Running club was easier than I imagined and I kept up and enjoyed it.Met a new friendly person and a school mum I hadn't seen in years.I wasn't really a fit at the school gates and she was always really nice. Hair done and my hairdresser commented on how great my skin looked and my eyes were really clear and bright.I normally hate the hairdresser mirror but I can really see a difference having not drunk.Glad I took before photos.Bumped into DD17 and took her for lunch which was really special. Felt so good I went to a yoga class for the first time in ages and it was just what I needed.
Only downer was DH pouring himself a large glass of red .When I told him he had asked me to remind him if he did this , he wants to not drink in the week he got defensive and upset with me. He said he was "only having one and now can't relax tonight ".He felt I'd ruined it for him, went all quiet and drank it anyway.He is exhausted and stressed at the moment and it just isn't helping. Probably didn't help that he went to kiss me but he was all wine breath . I just didn't want to.Kind of put a downer on my day so I took my book to bed and SLEPT.

@AFmammaG you are bloody amazing.Please give yourself the credit you deserve for getting through last night sober.

We can post about whatever we like on this thread (I certainly do, I can really ramble on hehe!). Our reasons for craving are a hugely valid thing to talk about.

Life can feel simultaneously like you never get a moment to yourself but also that you are very isolated and alone.

Talking about things that make us feel shame or rage or alone are the very things that make us realise that everyone has those feelings, everyone has days where it all goes tits up and they turn to THEIR SUBSTANCE OF CHOICE for comfort.

If we turn to our substance of choice, we just smush those bad feelings down for another time. If we can sit in the painful feelings, try a new coping mechanism, share with someone else, we learn and grow and there is so much power in that. And we are all doing it. Bloody well done to us all, and anyone who is trying their utmost to conquer an addiction to wine, fags, chocolate, scrolling... penis or sweetcorn ... (see my post on page 20, sorry!)

@Chance21 I really enjoyed the book so hope to get to the cinema to see that soon. Sounds like a good plan for the weekend, enjoy.
@growinguptobreakingdown sounds like a lovely day yesterday. Husbands, well, we just have to ignore them sometimes!
@AFmammaG I'm so pleased for you getting through a tough day yesterday and you're right, you'd feel double bad today. Please don't worry about what the board of AIBU would say because I've read some utter batshit on there lately! I hope today gets better and believe me, the dog owner was in the wrong, not your son, not you. And also - mistakes happen, and people are incredibly intolerant sometimes with their own stuff going on so please don't dwell on it.

Wishing you all a good weekend in the beautiful sunshine.
@CoffeeLover90 @Limeandsoda2023 @cantsayno33 @dontlookbackinangerr @Iamaf @Iamateadrinker @MissSmith80 @SadMama87 @ThistimeIneedtostop how are you doing? I am terrible at remembering user names so just firing a load out there, sorry! x

I'm so sorry for the disappearance. I was being a little selfish. This week has been hectic and I wanted to hide. Even from my lovely support group here.
I'm so sorry.
@AFmammaG I'm especially sorry for you. I find when I'm feeling overwhelmed and something goes wrong EVERYTHING goes wrong. And I can't think positive because there's no good. There is good but I can't see it. When you come out of this cloud of chaos you'll see, you paced that kitchen wanting a drink, you didn't, the kids did something funny, everyone will appreciate the over priced photo... Just all the little good things happened and you can get to concentrate on those eventually.

Parenting never gets easier in my opinion. It just gets different. I loved newborn days, I was blessed with a wonderful baby. My friends didn't, they hated it. Now they're in the 'easy' bit and I'm drowning. Work, taking care of the child, the pets, the house... we ran out of milk, he needs a new coat, the cat destroyed something, their boosters are due, I have an appointment. Oh and between that I'll work 8 hours a day and pretend I'm OK. Have family sit over me all weekend and hint that I'm ignorant for doing housework and washing because what I should have done was split myself in 2 during the week so I could work AND take care of the house.

Always rant away on here. These all build up, before you know you'll be looking for an escape. An escape in the form of a glass, which turns into a bottle, then guilt, anxiety, shame...
Bring it up here. Because we all know it's shit.

Given the choice of reading a post of your problems or reading that you caved and were ashamed, I know what I would rather see.

Wishing you all the most restful weekend possible.

Day 6

You don't need to be sorry @CoffeeLover90 , sometimes the social media and whatsapp group side of things gets overwhelming. I'm so pleased you're on Day 6 despite your tough week. Have a lovely weekend x

@Steppered yes that's it. Work has been full on so apart from the necessary messages, I just kept away from my phone. Let myself relax. Sort of.

Just popping in to say..well done for not giving in even with hubby drinking.
amazing.
im posting because it’s day 3, and I poured myself a massive whiskey. I’m nwot proud, especially as it’s horrible stuff, , BUT I managed to talk myself out of drinking even more and have a cuppa and a LOT of crisps.
Not good but it is a kind of win.
were on to elderly parents and run away teens now. LONG for baby days when you get cuddles and love.

@Iamaf well done on stopping yourself, I can't.
I plan on a cup of tea with my meal later. I'm undecided on the meal, I'm not very hungry. Beans on toast? Then a bit of practice on the theory test app, keep my knowledge fresh, shower and bed.
I'm exhausted today.

Hi coffeelovers thanks, I can’t normally- it’s the thought of this thread that helped. Sorry you’re so tired. Beans on toast with lots of ketchup and mustard and a cuppa sounds ace.
cooked for unappreciative teen. That’s my danger time. Humpf. Sigh, so lovely just to open a tin. Bon appetit!

@Iamaf excuse me here, I'm sorry but mustard and ketchup on the beans on toast?! This must be the marmite of beans and toast.
I need some more jump in to tell me if this is a thing before I go onto Google and find myself in a rabbit hole...
I ended up with a sandwich, crisps, chocolate and a yogurt. My lazy meal. It's been a while.

I know! My teen regards me with horror. But to me it tastes like I’ve got the whole full English, without having to cook all the bits😁

morning all 😊
well done on day 18!! So happy you’re seeing some positives and feeling better in yourself I also hate the hairdresser mirror forced to look at yourself!! Maybe I’ll like the reflection better when I go in a few weeks 😂
your husband will have to figure out drinking won’t make stress go away and I won’t kiss my partner when he has beer breath now!! 😆 his currently in Budapest football holiday I think his spent most of it drinking so I’m not even to keen to have him turn up later in his half empty hangover state that he will be in!! Is that bad 🤦🏻‍♀️
hi @CoffeeLover90 nice to hear from you hope you’re feeling re charged and better 😊 I love marmite and beans on toast @Iamaf really fancy that now. Well done for switching to tea not sure I could do that so it’s better for me to have none.
Also everyone is free to ramble on here as @Steppered said these are the stresses that can make us turn to booze!! Any excuse to get through it or escape sometimes getting things of your chest with no judgement can lighten the load.
hooe everyone has a great Saturday 😊

Morning all!

I’m really impressed with those of you who are managing not to drink when your partners do.

I had a good day yesterday, nothing amazing but just more productive than I’ve been in ages. And when my DD messaged me at 10:30pm to say she was leaving her friend’s house, I was able to offer to drive and pick her up. Such an easy thing to do but obviously only possible because I hadn’t drunk anything.

Feeling positive for the weekend. Only day 6 for me in this most recent streak but my TryDry app is looking pretty full of yellow (non-drinking) days for last 10 weeks so determined to make it through October completely dry!

wishing you all good weekends

@Limeandsoda2023 I love the try dry app.Really wanted wine last night.DH had a glass of red so I had a can of Trip which helped .I'm getting a lot of sleep as every time I want alcohol I just go to bed early.It's not very sociable but it is very effective. I'm finding having Trip or Kombucha in a gin glass seems to act as a good substitute.
Got up early and did a 4 mile canicross which I knew I wouldn't have managed hungover so it's a win.

wow you guys are impressive!

Got up early and did a 4 mile canicross
Well done @growinguptobreakingdown, I’m definitely not in a getting up early place 😆
Having a better day today, let’s hope the tide is turning! Have a great weekend everyone.

I admire anyone who gets up early and immediately has the get up and go. I always wake early but it takes at least an hour before I'm human. Even then it's questionable.

Good for you @growinguptobreakingdown i find I go to bed early not because I want to drink just love early mornings!! So I’ve just beat my last run!! Managed just over 5 mikes today definitely couldn’t do that with a hangover 😅
I need to try Trip I haven’t really gave myself anything exciting to drink it’s just water and coffee in general but I’ve heard good things!! Glad you had a positive day yesterday @Limeandsoda2023 long may they continue you can do this!!
just started listening to Allen carrs quit drinking without will power I have to say it’s really good and explains a lot about falling back into the trap of drinking I would recommend.

I'll try Alan Carr @Chance21 .He did the job stopping me smoking almost 20 years ago.I still hear the words "spineless jellyfish" whenever I get tempted to have a (drunken) cigarette.
@CoffeeLover90 I am a morning person but dragged myself there today.A really great group of people and dogs and I couldn't back out as I sign up to a poll the day before.I know I always enjoy it once I get going bit the getting there is hard.

Thanks for tagging me @Steppered

Still doing well, 5 days to go until the 1 year soberversary. It's been a lovely few days with the sun shining. As I was taking my son to school yesterday we were singing along to the radio, it made me realise that a year ago, without a doubt I'd have at least a fuzzy if not total hangover, was feeling resentful of the school run and probably wasn't much fine. Oh how times change.

Although I have no desire to drink, I do wonder what will happen next week when I've hit the year - and afford to allow that to give me permission for an occasional drink, because if I can not drink for a year, it can't be a problem can't it? (Of course I know it was and would be again).

Morning all 😊
gym class this morning then afternoon get together with partners family still don’t feel ready to have that conversation with some to say I’m not drinking luckily I don’t see these family members a lot so the fact that I have an early start at work tomorrow should get me out of that why are you not drinking!!
i will get there but I feel atm only close people need to know. I’m not ashamed of my sobriety it’s more the questions that come with it.
wow how lovely to read @MissSmith80 that’s amazing I hope you do something special for yourself. And I get what your saying about the thought process maybe that will always be there and we’ll have those days when we will have to work extra hard to protect our sobriety all we know is the thought doesn’t last long and it doesn’t hold any power unless we let it!!
hope everyone has a restful Sunday 😊