Day 1 or 100 tulips and snowdrops say #browniesnotbeer

[CoffeeLover90]

Didn't think I'd be worthy, being so new to these threads, but an amazingly brave woman managed to drive past a shop today and not give into cravings. And I was one of the people that were thanked. I'm humbled.
I may not post on here daily, life, child and pets demand attention but I hope people find what I have from this- encouragement, reassurance and no judgement.

It's been almost a year since I began drinking 3 to 7 days per week. In that time I've many failed attempts to stop or moderate.
I'm now on my longest dry spell since my first attempt. Day 21, with @AFmammaG beside me.
I have no plans for September. I'm in an hour by hour, day by day situation.
I will do Sober for October. Definitely. No doubt.

#browniesnotbeer came to mind when another poster mentioned they'd 'rage ate' a brownie rather than pour a drink. I've turned to food but balancing that with exercise and telling myself it will be easier to cut out chocolate. Although I could be lying to myself there...

www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5066932-day-1-or-1000-all-welcome-on-the-tulips-and-snowdrops-thread?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Welcome back @Limeandsoda2023 and hello to @ThistimeIneedtostop! Very happy to have you along for this ride. It’s bumpy and can be tough at times but it’s so, so worth it.

I slept well, starting the day with porridge and have made myself a pot of fruit for work. Chalking the brownie up and trying to refocus on my October goals! Good luck everyone!

Thanks so much @AFmammaG. I had a good nights sleep so have woken feeling positive for the day ahead. I’m out with friends at the theatre tonight and have already told do them I am doing sober Oct and don’t be drinking.

Welcome @ThistimeIneedtostop. This group is really supportive so it is great you have joined us.

Sober October is generally accepted as a reason not to be drinking, so sad we need a reason! The Theatre sounds good! Enjoy the show!

Morning all 😊
Welcome back @Limeandsoda2023 glad you’re doing well and joining us for sober October. Enjoy the theatre trip.
@ThistimeIneedtostop welcome you sound a lot like my drinking can never have one or two so better off having none!! Join us for sober October 😊 we can get through it together

Welcome @ThistimeIneedtostop , we are all on a similar journey here so please check in, let us know how you are, even if you're struggling with drinking - especially if you're struggling with drinking. No judgement, we all understand.

Nice to hear from you @Limeandsoda2023 , Sober October is a good reason and well done for strapping in for it! x

Welcome @ThistimeIneedtostop and hello @Limeandsoda2023 . Keep checking in. All here for sober October.I restart a running club tomorrow which I'm nervous about.Have a haircut afterwards and plan a nice dog walk.Good week at work which I put down to being 2 weeks sober and the difference this makes in me managing my caseload. Sleeping much better and my black eye has completely gone.Face isn't puffy in the morning (well...not alcohol puffy!).Seeing the benefits already.2 weeks felt so hard but it's feeling a little easier the more days I notch up on the Try Dry app.

Hello Steppered Hello everyone including thistimeineedtostop I’m with you there. Can I please join? You look like a friendly bunch🙂
Im trying to do what everyone else is, no booze, more veg and actual excersise. I’ve been paying for therapy as some stressful crap made me reach for a bigger bottle, and it’s dawned on me that the therapy won’t help unless I change one fundamental thing that affects everything else and yes, it’s drink.
so October 2 and 1st day without a drink

Thankyou all. Day 3 today. I’m tired but feel good. I’m worried though. That I’ll feel better, then think I can have a drink. Especially with the weekend coming up. I need to just know it’s not happening.

Morning all 😊
feeling great today probably runners high from yesterday!! I recommend running I can’t believe those words are coming from me!! 😆glad to hear you’re feeling better @growinguptobreakingdown it’s always really tough getting through first couple of weeks but you got through it!! 😊 better days to come.
welcome @Iamaf join us for sober October lots of support and no judgement from the lovely ladies here. Alcohol has a multitude of sins and caused me a lot of problems 40 days AF now so we can change for the better!!
well done @ThistimeIneedtostop I have been there weekends are always tough especially in the beginning, you can do this!! Plan something for the weekend that doesn’t involve drinking like getting outside or going to the cinema if it’s more of a case of having drink at home make sure there isn’t anything to tempt you and have plenty of sweet treats I know it’s not great but it’s better than picking up a drink. It will get easier once you push through the weekends you’ll see 😊 don’t be fooled by the mind playing tricks it will try to go back to what it knows!! And always post if you need some support

Posting as starting again. Feeling a bit apprehensive as I'm sure some of you can relate to. I'll just pop in and hopefully gain encouragement until I feel strong enough to offer some. Something has to change. So many day ones. Hope everyone has a lovely day.

@Iamateadrinker popping in daily really helps me.@Chance21 your posts always give me a pep talk.Not sure I'm on a place to offer advice just yet but I find tracking my days on an app helps and being honest with friends about why I'm not drinking

Morning all and welcome @Iamateadrinker

I enjoyed my trip to the theatre and the “old fashioned” lemonade I had in a bar beforehand. A couple of my friends had a glass of wine and I had a momentary desire but the fact I had previously said I was doing Sober Oct meant I wasn’t really tempted.

Annoyingly I didn’t sleep great last night but still feel better this morning than I usually do.

I really appreciate everyone’s posts - the support radiates off the screen! We can do this. I’m also encouraged by so many of you who are managing long dry streaks now, often after failing (sorry, wrong word but hopefully you know what I mean) previously.

Welcome back @Iamateadrinker hope you can take some comfort here we have all been at day one again!! I was stuck on the moderation binge drinking rollercoaster for years it feels good to have some control back by no means am I through it or safe I have to work at it every day but I know it will be worth it.
thank you @growinguptobreakingdown the better I feel I can give more out to others my cup is not half full anymore and if anyone finds my rambling helpful then that’s great 😊I think the fact your being honest so early on with people is amazing you’re doing great!!
well done @Limeandsoda2023 for not giving in we’ve got this!! 😊 glad you enjoyed your evening AF.
My sleep has got so much better, in fact it’s making not drinking easier as I don’t want to go back to restless nights!! But wasn’t till week 3 that I noticed these changes.

Sounds like a nice plan today @growinguptobreakingdown , hope the run goes well and doesn't mess up the new hair!

Hey there @Iamaf , we are a very friendly bunch, come on in! Totally relate to that about the therapy - I thought if I could fix all my trauma that I could drink again Like A Normal Person but it just doesn't work like that sadly.

@ThistimeIneedtostop well done on day 3. Today is day 4, you have got this. I promise it gets easier, it really does. Podcasts, water, cocoon yourself.

@Iamateadrinker I had loads of day 1s and tomorrow I will be day 50 (nobody is as shocked as me!) Keep trying and it does click. Every day sober is a brick in our sober walls. One day at a time. We got this!

@Limeandsoda2023 old fashioned lemonade sounds lovely. And well done for sticking to it because it would have just opened pandora's box for me. ("Well now I want another wine but does anyone else? Or is it just me? Shall I go and get another one? Shall I wait til the interval? I can't concentrate on the show. If I have another one I'll need a wee. But I want another one.") LALALA bloody hell I don't miss that noise!

@Chance21 you have encouraged me to go for a run today .... well, that, and the fact that this is the first decent day of weather in a month! I'm quite a fairweather runner! 40 days - wow. You are doing so bloomin' well, I am chuffed for you.

How's it going @AFmammaG , @CoffeeLover90 ? x

@Steppered yes! That would have been the exact dialogue in my head too. It was so nice to be able to focus on the play without thinking about the wine I could have in the interval or after the show.

I really used to take every opportunity or excuse to drink another glass.

Good for you @Steppered I’ll have you all running!! 😂😂 day off for me don’t want to over train!! So I’m at the cinema waiting to watch outrun with chocolate 😊
thank you and massive well done to you also 50 days tomorrow it’s so hard to envision this in the early days but just goes to show it’s possible we can all keep adding the bricks to our walls every day!!

Hi @Steppered and all the newbie’s, you are very welcome.

I’m not doing so good. After my epic fail at DD’s medical appointment I’ve had a few difficult days with my youngest. Just feeling really sad and low. The hospital were supposed to call me today to rearrange an appointment and surprise surprise they didn’t. Just fed up. Fed up of the never ending list of shit to do. Tired of having to plan and organise the whole house. Feel like everyone’s happiness and success sits on my shoulders.

Oh and got completely soaked through TWICE yesterday. Damp clothes hanging everywhere and an overflowing basket of washing doesn’t help the low mood.

So sorry to hear that @AFmammaG . I felt similarly a few weeks ago when we were going through the school refusal. You just feel DONE by 9am. And I know people say "you're in control of your own mood!" well, when you've been given grief by your kids and feel like you can't get it right, I'd like to know how they just move on with it! Grr.

Spend 5 minutes in the sun today, if you can. Outsource dinner/anything you can to Mr MammaG. Eat brownies. To bed early. Look after yourself. You have got this x

Thank you @Steppered. Yes I feel done. That’s very accurate. Done with the never ending emails for school. My oldest got her photo taken and traditionally I’ve purchased some for the family at Christmas. Do you know how much they want for a digital copy? £16. So I pay them £16 and then pay for the cost of printing them…? Which obviously adds another job to my list. If I had the energy I’d try and recreate one at home 😂 save myself the £16. I personally think that’s disgusting trying to charge parents that before Christmas. What about those who have several children? I know I don’t have to buy them etc etc but I actually do feel the pressure to get them given I’ve done it every year. Or else when she’s older shall I just tell her Mummy was too tight to get them that year?

I know it’s a non-issue. I know there are people loosing their lives in wars. I just feel done! I honestly felt earlier like I can’t cope anymore. I can’t cope with sign this consent form and pay this for the school trip and wear pe kit tomorrow and bring a cake for the pta. It’s just fucking relentless. Seriously, there should be a daily cap on the number of comms coming out of the school. No wonder there are parents just completely opting out of the whatsapp group and the cake sale etc. I 100% don’t blame them but if I did that I would just feel like I’m letting my kids down. Like they deserve better ☹️

My children are without doubt the only ones who can control my emotions, and even now at 21/17 they still have a massive effect on my mood. sorry your having a tough week @AFmammaG you can’t do everything seems like there is a lot more pressure these days when mine were little I didn’t get involved in any groups etc just took them to school and picked them up didn’t have WhatsApp groups I don’t know how you can physically do it all I personally couldn’t it’s hard enough working and running a home. Maybe your husband can lighten the load? Sounds like you could do with a hand before you burn yourself out. Hopefully you can have a rest at the weekend 😊

So can I tell what’s happened since the last time I posted? I thought “right pull yourself together. There’s time before dinner to have a run at the park. We will all feel better for the fresh air” so I pick up the ball and bundle the kids into the car.
DS is excited to go out. We leave the car park and enter the park. DS sees a dog and in his excitement runs at it shouting “Doggy”. The dog gets spooked and runs out of the park, across the road and into the street. I’m looking frantically for an owner while trying to tell off DS. The owner runs past us, has seen what happened and glares at me as he runs after the dog. I just want to sob. And scream. And try really calmly to tell DS off for running at the dog. He doesn’t understand. I don’t know whether to make him leave (as a punishment) or let him play (otherwise what the hell was the point).
I’m scared the dog owner is going to come back and have a go at me. DS obviously isn’t in the mood to play after being told off. We head home and I want to cry.

This is my life. Every day. I’m just so done.

oh my 🤦🏻‍♀️ yeah I think I’d give up!! Good for you for taking the children out though. To be honest the dog should really be on a lead it’s not your sons fault the dog run out the park even if he did spook the dog. If your dog is off the lead the owner should be either near by or definitely be able to call the dog back to them it’s just unfortunate. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day

Oh @AFmammaG ! That's totally not your fault at all. I like dogs but it should have been on a lead if it can't be controlled. Absolutely not your fault at all and I'm sorry it ruined your attempt at jollity. Fucks sake!

I know what you mean about all the everything. I genuinely think having kids, working FT, running the house and trying to have a life, is impossible. And we put so much pressure on ourselves. No wonder women drink. But it doesn't help :(

Right, my plan over the next hour is I'm having a hot chocolate, lighting a candle, and settling down under a blanket x

😭 I know if there was a thread about it in AIBU most people would tell me to control my child. Why am I letting him run at animals but here’s the thing. I don’t “let” him. He doesn’t listen. He doesn’t remember. He doesn’t understand. And I do try. I try so hard. Every day.

There was a thread the other day someone asking when it gets easier and I had to stop myself from posting “It doesn’t. That’s a lie people tell you to stop you from killing them (or yourself). It’s 10 years later and it’s still fucking shit. Every day.”

The people saying it gets better are either mis-remembering or had easy well behaved (NT) children.

Woh I’m so glad I found you guys. I’m sorry you are having a crap time afmammag but fwiw , you’ve done me a favour and I am reassured. For years I thought I was the only one not coping and felt such a failure as a mum and so useless, I’d try to create my single years in trendy bars with cheap plonk while making (yet another) bloody dinner. And I’ve been trying to do the same every night ever since. It hasn’t worked!
still, day 2. BUT..I’ve bought a little bottle of scotch to top up DHs best scotch I’ve been sneaking while he’s away. That’s not exactly elegant behavior. That’s why I need this to stop.
well done everyone.