Day 1 or 100 tulips and snowdrops say #browniesnotbeer

[CoffeeLover90]

Didn't think I'd be worthy, being so new to these threads, but an amazingly brave woman managed to drive past a shop today and not give into cravings. And I was one of the people that were thanked. I'm humbled.
I may not post on here daily, life, child and pets demand attention but I hope people find what I have from this- encouragement, reassurance and no judgement.

It's been almost a year since I began drinking 3 to 7 days per week. In that time I've many failed attempts to stop or moderate.
I'm now on my longest dry spell since my first attempt. Day 21, with @AFmammaG beside me.
I have no plans for September. I'm in an hour by hour, day by day situation.
I will do Sober for October. Definitely. No doubt.

#browniesnotbeer came to mind when another poster mentioned they'd 'rage ate' a brownie rather than pour a drink. I've turned to food but balancing that with exercise and telling myself it will be easier to cut out chocolate. Although I could be lying to myself there...

www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5066932-day-1-or-1000-all-welcome-on-the-tulips-and-snowdrops-thread?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

I danced this afternoon for 4 hours entirely sober and had a great time.Figure if I can do that I can do anything sober. Off to bed now as I'm happily exhausted.

Well done @growinguptobreakingdown! I did not enjoy a similar experience!

I’m dry. I was very tempted tonight. DH is drinking and I have that hangover headache that I know would go immediately with a glass of wine. But that would be putting it off to feel like this again tomorrow. Managed to distract myself and haven’t had a drink. So that’s day 1 in the bag.

Morning all
feeling great this morning well rested weekend love the mornings coffee in peace before anyone gets up!!
thats great to hear @growinguptobreakingdown I managed a sober wedding once which I danced all evening with my becks blue and I loved it felt very empowering but haven’t been in that situation yet have an engagement party in November though so hopefully will be more confident then. Well done to you just goes to prove it’s a lot to do with in our heads that make us feel self conscious.
sober September almost completed here’s to sober October feeling positive last few weeks felt like a rollercoaster but I got through it 😊

Woke up early, enjoying a coffee in bed. Feel bloated. I enjoyed my own company last night.
Online shopping arriving today with plenty of fresh juice.
Now I'm ready for my next challenge.

Well done on your Sober September @Chance21 you sound so confident in your posts! It’s really inspiring.

I also had a great sleep last night. I was pleased with myself for not drinking again (even though I wanted to). I think on my previous attempts I would have just thought fuck it and drank again but last night I didn’t, so that’s a win.

@CoffeeLover90 so glad you feel ready for October! I do too!

Thank you @AFmammaG I think alcohol caused me so many problems I couldn’t get much lower it literally put me on my knees the constant fuck ups and the crippling anxiety it gave me due to the embarrassing things I used to do and guilt when I’d upset people I genuinely love and care for.
The only way I can feel is better because it was the alcohol causing most of my problems.
Well done for not drinking last night can be easy once you get the taste again!! And good luck to you and @CoffeeLover90 on sober October you both know you can do it!! Hope everyone else is ok and having a great weekend 😊

Morning all, hope everyone is doing ok. I have 3 weeks until my half term holiday so I’m going to hit the diet hard after slipping slightly a whole lot last week.

Plan for this is loads of water. Loads of fruit. Plenty of salad and veggies. No evening snacking and plenty of sleep. Hoping to feel amazing as I break up from school. Oh and less caffeine as I got a bit lax with that too. No coffee after midday is non negotiable this month.

Plus I need to get back on the treadmill… aiming for 30 minutes every day. Ambitious? Yes but I feel it’s doable. I spend at least twice that long on the sofa each evening.

1st of October tomorrow - what are everyone else's goals?

October goals are similar, minus the treadmill.
Sober October, first and foremost.
Diet, no takeaways, less sugar, more fruit and veg, more home cooking.
Aiming for at least 8k steps, every day.
Less caffeine, even cutting out energy drinks every day will help.
Putting every penny I save on the above into the Christmas pot.

Because here's the thing, I feel safe enough here to confess. Every year I start buying for Christmas in July. By December 1st I'm done, everything bought and wrapped.
But this year, I've bought nothing so far. I have a little savings but usually I would have this much saved even with the presents bought.
Giving myself a little leeway as last year I wasn't spending 300 a month on driving lessons but even so, it's drove home how much I've wasted.
And I'm ashamed.

I love that @growinguptobreakingdown , so pleased for you!

Focus here is for Sober October too. Anything else good is a bonus!

@CoffeeLover90 I've wasted so much money on alcohol, food and clothes I buy when hungover, money I've lost when drunk.Makes me uncomfortable thinking about it.More fuel to keep off it I suppose.Hope you see your savings look healthier for christmas with dry October. Would definitely see more savings if DH didn't go to Majestics so much.
I've had my first wobble.Good friends we historically got hammered with have organised afternoon cocktails in December.Already finding myself thinking just one night won't hurt when actually it really does.Have time to prepare though and get my mindset right.

Afternoon all
hope all is well my goal is sober October!! And my fitness just managed a 4 mile run this afternoon and believe me I’m not a runner!! I thought I hated running turns out I quite enjoy it and runners high is a thing!!
not dieting maybe try and be mindful of the sugar intake but not obsessing if it makes me happy then I’m having it!! 😂
some great goals there all round 😊
@growinguptobreakingdown
that will happen unfortunately the mind starts playing tricks and try’s to convince us we can go back to having a couple or a night off!! But eventually you end up back where you started you’ve got some time to prepare hopefully the thoughts will calm down so your not constantly thinking about it 😊

Ooh my goals for October:
1.Sober for all of it
2.Start running again.I do canicross and the season starts next week but I've not ran since it ended in May.Its going to be a shock for both me and the dog.
3.Cut down on sugar.I eat so much of it.It makes me feel almost as bad as alcohol.Maybe even harder to control.
Great goals from everyone.

You know when people talk about their dream jobs. I have no dream job.
I'd love to win a ridiculous amount on the lottery, buy a modest house and car and just live on what's left. No cares, no commute, no targets, no dealing with the British public...
Had a brilliant day at work can you tell?
Fish, chips and peas washed down with a cup of tea for tonight.
A movie, a blanket and a candle.
Really looking forward to Wednesday, they have a verity of fruity mocktails.
I already know what I'm ordering for desert- bet you can't guess?

@CoffeeLover90 I have found my “dream job” doesn’t exist and what is more important to me is the people I work with. Before children I earned a lot but the work was awful. Horrible hours. Long commute. Walking on eggshells the entire time. Performance review made me feel sick.

After children I went into a completely different line of work and although the work itself is a bit boring and the pay low, I love the team I work in. It really is one for all and we watch each other’s backs. I don’t dread going in anymore.

My DS did something really naughty today. I know for certain past me would have cried. Out of frustration and helplessness. Today I managed to keep my cool and just deal with it. It wasn’t easy but that’s becoming the norm now. So much less anger all round. I realised today that I’m coping better.

Got home, made dinner and now pounding the treadmill to get my 30 minutes in before the bedtime routine starts.

Also just to add about Christmas. I have never, ever been organised 😆 I’m a run to tesco on Christmas Eve for wrapping paper sort of person. It’s just the way I am. I’ve tried to change! Sometimes I do better but mostly I’m
last minute.com for everything.

Please don’t waste your precious energy on shame. What’s done is done. No good will come from dwelling or wishing it was different. You can do this @CoffeeLover90, you don’t need hundreds of pounds of presents to have a good Christmas. My kids will be getting an oodie each, which they have been asking for forever and chocolate! They have enough ‘stuff’.

@AmberExpert you're right, the one thing I love about my job is my colleagues.
And about Christmas, I keep asking DS what he wants, a toy car and crayons. The answer never changes. He's so grateful which is why I would buy him an island if I could. Bit of mum guilt mixed with a bad day at work. These days come and go. It'll be over soon. I have an interrupted sleep to look forward to. So not all bad.
Thank you for your wise words.

Maybe on the run up to Christmas we could share some good deals if we see any. I always do a shop when Tesco do their club card deals on toys, well worth the savings!
Enjoy your sleep @CoffeeLover90! I’m watching MAFS with a cup of tea and then bed!

If anyone sees M&S doing a deal on their chocolate log let me know! I want the £24 one but can never justify the cost. Maybe this year I’ll treat myself given I’ve saved so much on alcohol this year.

You definitely deserve a full-price £24 chocolate log @AFmammaG !
Wow, well done on your running @Chance21 , that's brilliant!
Canicross sounds dangerous @growinguptobreakingdown , I would definitely fall over the dog!!
You have nothing to be ashamed about @CoffeeLover90 , you are a great Mum and trying to change your relationship alcohol takes up a LOT of energy. You have enough time and resources to make a beautiful and special christmas for yourself and your family. Funny enough I felt the same yesterday about the perfect job... I felt like I could really do with a few months off to just BE. To read, exercise, cook, learn, rest, relax, work on myself, try new hobbies... basically all the stuff I try to cram into a tiny window after work. I like my colleagues, some of them are good friends, but I very much hold people at arm's length and don't live for work like some of them.

How is it October?! Certainly feels like it though with this weather.
Guilty pleasure - I've started My Mum, Your Dad, it's a bit feel-good and the soundtrack is fab! (Note - Davina is also long-term sober.)

You definitely deserve that £24 treat @AFmammaG
That's very kind to say @Steppered I do put too much pressure on myself sometimes, as a lone parent, I don't want him to miss out.
I think I'll do what I did for dry July, spend the money now so I can't spend it on crap!
Right sober October has begun! As has project Christmas!

Afternoon all 😊
Dream job what’s that?? 😂 I do like my job but I have to deal with public for 7 hrs a day my customers are actually lovely I’m very lucky the only thing that I find tough is having to put on a smile every day and make small talk when some days you just don’t want to see anyone let alone smile or talk!! As a business I have to be welcoming so that can be tough especially when I felt really low sometimes after my shift I would get in my car and cry because I’d been fake smiling all day!! I know bit dramatic but it happens.
ohh chocolate log sounds good @AFmammaG marks do the some lovely Christmas food my daughter worked there last Christmas so got some discount which was great!! Can’t go wrong.
@CoffeeLover90 I get what you mean I’m a lone parent and it was tough when they were teenagers especially with all the computers PlayStations etc your son is little right? When mine were little I never went crazy only ever spent around 150 on each that’s all I had at the time not worth getting into debt or stressing over.
thanks @Steppered ive become obsessed with it but only running 3 times a week as don’t want to injure myself so trying to build it up but the dopamine hit after is just amazing.
I love your mum my dad great watch and was thinking how cool is the music also!! Some classics playing!!
I've just got into Joan on itv really good and if you have ITVX you can binge watch it so that’s what I’m doing 😊

@Chance21 yeah he is only 5. I normally spend 200-300 but I include clothes and shoes which I know he needs, it's just to increase the pile. I'll stick with 200 this year, worried about presents for rest of family though. Probably looking at another 200 in total for them.
It is doable if I don't waste. I'm also hosting so there's a cost to that.
Then the Christmas theme days out.
It all adds up, which is why I usually start so early.

I went to the pub this evening. I had a pot of tea and a … brownie 😆 not in alignment with my dieting goals and it’s the first day of the month. Opps. I am on the treadmill now though, so you know.

Had a massive parenting fail with my oldest. Can’t go into specifics but I made a mistake about one of her medical appointments and now she needs another (this was also the reason for the pub trip - compensation)!

I think she has forgiven me. I am human. I apologised and she seems a bit happier now. I’m just juggling so much and had to arrange someone to pick up my youngest so we could even get to the appointment. Sigh.

Anyway, I will join you in the cheesy tv, the worrying about Christmas and the sugar overload as I cross another day off the app.

Hope you don’t mind me rejoining you all after a bit of an absence?
I’ve had a strange few weeks with hectic time at work meaning I didn’t feel I had time to properly engage and post regularly but I have been reading all the updates and supporting you all from the sidelines.
Ive stayed largely dry with only about five or six days when I have drunk in last 45 days…but I could feel myself beginning to negotiate more about moderation and I want to switch that voice off so I am doing sober October. I’m fact, I didn’t drink yesterday to give myself a head start!

Sending everyone good thoughts

I’d like to join you if I may, please. I did not drink yesterday. And I have not drunk today. Which is good. I can’t have one drink. I can have no drinks. Or I can have ten drinks. There is no inbetween. So I need to stop. Because it’s ruining everything.