Day 1 or 100 tulips and snowdrops say #browniesnotbeer

[CoffeeLover90]

Didn't think I'd be worthy, being so new to these threads, but an amazingly brave woman managed to drive past a shop today and not give into cravings. And I was one of the people that were thanked. I'm humbled.
I may not post on here daily, life, child and pets demand attention but I hope people find what I have from this- encouragement, reassurance and no judgement.

It's been almost a year since I began drinking 3 to 7 days per week. In that time I've many failed attempts to stop or moderate.
I'm now on my longest dry spell since my first attempt. Day 21, with @AFmammaG beside me.
I have no plans for September. I'm in an hour by hour, day by day situation.
I will do Sober for October. Definitely. No doubt.

#browniesnotbeer came to mind when another poster mentioned they'd 'rage ate' a brownie rather than pour a drink. I've turned to food but balancing that with exercise and telling myself it will be easier to cut out chocolate. Although I could be lying to myself there...

www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5066932-day-1-or-1000-all-welcome-on-the-tulips-and-snowdrops-thread?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Sounds like everyone doing well so far. Will be thinking of you tomorrow @AFmammaG regardless, you've been amazing so far, open, honest and a huge help.

@Steppered I'd love a brownies not beer social. Unfortunately a lot are on diets or trying 🤣 can imagine that would end in tears.

I've decided to get a brownie for tomorrow. Saturday is undecided. I saw it as a last one before sober October begins but I've put that thought to one side for now, it's too early to decide.

This week has gone much better work wise.
Little one has more good days than bad.
House is not a bomb site.
Cats are still crazy.
All good really.

Just caught up.@CoffeeLover90 glad to hear you are feeling more positive now.It's just a good reminder next time you are tempted to have a drink.I definitely reach for the wine for all the wrong reasons and being stressed at work is the biggest.@Steppered Ioved your post. I'm going to think of booze as a toxic ex next time I am going out.Which is tomorrow as it's my birthday.Going for lunch but would prefer to go to a gallery as that is less linked to alcohol for me so I might change plans. I'm noticing my brain expecting alcohol in the evenings again.I definitely would have had a glass of red tonight normally and a boozy lunch tomorrow.It's so ingrained in my habits (also:highly addictive so no wonder!).Checking in here and reading all your posts is really helped me stay on track.I'm also happy hibernating at the moment.Trying to take it one day at a time.

Morning all
happy birthday 🥳 @growinguptobreakingdown hope you enjoy your day and have lots of treats!! Gallery sounds good 👍🏻 a birthday lunch will be nice have a fancy mocktail!!
breakfast dates are also great no alcohol involved 😊
hope everyone has a great weekend no social plans for me which is great!! Peaceful weekend may take myself to the cinema.
sending strength to anyone who needs it this weekend who’s facing challenges last weekend of sober September!! And 34 days feeling great 😆

@Chance21 my favourite thing to do is going to the cinema on my own in the afternoon.It feels like such a treat.Just got a really nice message from a drinking friend with suggestions of sober activities we can do when I told him I'm not drinking and why. I'm being far more honest with people this time and it's making it so much easier as the response has been supportive.When you say you've been having black outs and gave yourself a black eye it appears people are less inclined to try and persuade you to have a drink or tell you why you don't need to stop drinking! I still get 10 reasons why they don't need to stop drinking from people although that is a less common response now so many of my friends are also struggling with hangovers and wanting to feel healthier. Menopause and alcohol really doesn't mix for so many of my friends but I'm a little older than most of my friends so they are just catching up with me.Also it's my birthday today and I have no inclination to drink whatsoever thankfully!

Happy Birthday @growinguptobreakingdown! Have a wonderful day whatever you decide to do!
PS I think you are really brave being so honest with people. It’s something I can’t seem to manage. I will try and take a leaf out of your book!

@growinguptobreakingdown ahh that’s lovely I’m glad you’re receiving support from friends how great is that!! 😊
and honesty is the best policy I think the more excuses we make up about not drinking people will start with the go on just have one or two and they don’t take us serious.
love a solo cinema trip now!! Hope you have a great day first sober birthday!! 🥳

Happy birthday @growinguptobreakingdown glad to hear your friends have been supportive, we should all want the best for each other.

Happy birthday @growinguptobreakingdown , hope you have a beautiful day and I'm so glad your friends are supporting you, it really makes a difference.
Well done on your day 34 @Chance21 and have a wonderful weekend.
Good luck for tonight @AFmammaG , you got this!
@CoffeeLover90 glad you're doing better and enjoy that yummy brownie!
Gosh life is a yo-yo isn't it.

I think I read something like 1 in 8 people drink "dependently" (whatever that means), so in our circles we are unlikely to be alone in questioning our relationship with booze. "I'm giving X a rest because it's not working for me" should be unquestionably accepted; whether it be booze, fags, heroin, penis, sweetcorn, twilight, bread, facebook, meat, jigsaws, WHATEVER!!!

I know I've felt better for telling people because it 1) gives me accountability 2) makes me feel less alone 3) takes some of the shame away.

Guys I am super PINK CLOUDING today and I have to tell you, I am high on life!!! I could feel it washing over me yesterday afternoon and I still feel it today and it is better than being drunk. (I never thought I'd say that). I just feel this deep sense of calm and contentment and like everything will be okay and that I can do anything!

I've definitely had some lows this week too and felt sad but must say that it is a different feeling to the existential dread of feeling ashamed, sick and deeply hungover. The feelings are hard to feel - because I've pushed away any sadness or hurt, for a long time and I'm unused to them. But I think I need to feel them, they're going to come out, and I CAN build better coping mechanisms for them. They don't feel like a waste? Like a mortal hangover would.

Have an amazing weekend everyone x

Penis 😆 love this thread

Wonder if there is a support thread for that

Just updated my app and yesterday was day 60 🫣 I can’t even add up properly. That being said, I look forward to ticking off day 61 tonight. We’ve got this!!!

Not often that you see penis and sweetcorn in the same sentence together is it!

Well done on your day 60 @AFmammaG that is brilliant!

@Steppered actually I have a really gross story involving both NOT INVOLVING ME I hasten to add but I won't lower the tone.Your pink clouding post is super uplifting.Thanks for the birthday messages all.Spent the day looking at art , walking and a lunch with sparkling water with DH.Lovely.@AFmammaG day 61!Amazing.Hope your night out goes well.I try and imagine the end of both scenarios -drinking and not drinking and how I will feel.If I do that the not drinking wins out.It doesn't work if I've led myself to believe drinking was great though -hence regretting starting again so many times in the past- so I hope we can all remind you how terrible it makes you feel and how great waking up the next day AF feels.

Dear god @growinguptobreakingdown! Sounds like you are having a lovely birthday, really pleased x

Haha chuckling to myself 😂 @AFmammaG @Steppered I’ll have chocolate instead!!
well done on 61 days!! And I hope you enjoy your evening.
enjoy your pink cloud!! I think I’m definitely due one hoping tomorrow will be that day!! 😊

I don’t know about anyone else but I have to just take it one day at a time. I am so low on willpower if I try to say “I’m doing 100 days” I’ll fuck up immediately. I’ve done over two years sober that way before.

Fridays are hard. I last drank on a Friday and the last two weekends my lovely darling husband (mild sarcasm) has been drinking more than usual so I am dreading him coming home with beer. On our therapy call I brought it up and directly told him “I can’t control you, I can only control myself and know that alcohol is mostly bad for our family. I’m afraid that if you continue drinking it will destroy us.”

Last night he brought home non alcoholic beer, which I was proud of. I am not triggered by non alcoholic beer. He also cleaned up all his empty beer cans in his man cave after I said it bothered me. I think in his own way he is trying to be better, hopefully he takes my feelings and boundaries seriously.

@SadMama87 I'm a one day at a time person. But I want sober October, I want to try.
Tomorrow undecided, Saturday is when I struggle.
Glad DH is making positive changes but I'd say that you are the most important in that journey. You can only control yourself so true, great mindset.

Morning all 😊
feels great waking up on my weekends now and I find they last longer now I’ve gained so much time now I’m not spending them hungover and wasting them.
off to the gym soon elbow is still not good so Pilates today might go and see the out run today looks like a good watch considering it’s about addiction/ recovery.
I get what your saying @SadMama87 you have to do what’s right for you and when you tell yourself what day how long etc it can be scary or overwhelming some people don’t even count days they just do it.
so right we can only control ourselves my partner still drinks which is fine but I said to him I do have boundaries now so if you’re going to be drunk then I’ll probably check out either go home or not want to be around you 😂 he gets it but we don’t live together so I guess would be harder if we did I’d have to send him to the garden shed 😂
sounds like your husband understands the AF beers and clearing up is a good start!! Also we have to remember it’s new for them as it for us they may feel we our changing I mean I have my partner is supportive but I wonder if he misses not sharing wine with dinner or having a cocktail on a beach together etc. I know he won’t miss the black outs!! But that wasn’t every time we did have lots of fun nights!! Still felt like shit the next day though don’t miss that 🤦🏻‍♀️
@CoffeeLover90 sober October is fast approaching you have to do what’s right for you just remember how you felt the past few times you dipped your toes back to alcohol you could kick start the month of early 😊

Morning all. I drank last night. I’m ok with it. Didn’t go crazy, just couldn’t resist the bottle of red with dinner.
I’m chalking it up and committing to sober October. In a way it feels a bit like a relief. Like I can’t stop worrying about breaking now and just focus on the next 30 days.

Fair enough @AFmammaG , you've done really well! Hope you don't feel too bad today.

I absolutely agree@SadMama87 that you have to do what works for you, 100%. And you can only do you. Glad your husband has listened and made some changes.

My husband has cut right back but I still find him annoying .... like it's SO EASY for him to do, easy breezy! And now he is drinking again but he keeps asking me every time?! I've told him to stop asking me, I am not his keeper. Him drinking doesn't bother me (unless he starts drinking the stuff I used to like, but no fear there!) I know he will drink with friends and family and I don't want to feel like the fun police. He has said he's been happy to cut back. And he is such a happy guy, there's no emotional drinking there, unlike mine was.

@Chance21 I am loving sober mornings and weekends. I really want to see the Outrun too, the book was beautifully written so it sounds good. Let us know!

@CoffeeLover90 have a good weekend, hope you got some time to relax.

Have a lovely weekend everyone x

@AFmammaG sounds healthy, no regret or over thinking, didn't over do things. Plenty dry days under your belt and more to come.

Thank you both, yes I’m comfortable with it. A longer run would have been nice but I absolutely feel committed to sober October 👍

Afternoon all didn’t end up going cinema wanted to make the most of the weather today so ended up doing 5 mile walk round the nature reserve feeling great!! Can eat some chocolate now 😆
@AFmammaG no judgement here hope you enjoyed your night that’s the main thing and well done for not going crazy I would want more wine after dinner and would probably be in bed still feeling like crap!! October is fast approaching 😊
my partner is the same @Steppered his so happy we nickname him happy feet!! 😂 but his ok until he starts repeating himself then that drives me crazy and also he thinks his hilarious after a couple of beers!! But that’s why we work so well his very chilled I don’t know how he put up with me babysitting me on nearly every night out but he still stayed bless him!! 😊

I've decided I will have a drink tonight. Not with friends and not a lot. I don't feel guilty. I just want to try a relaxing Saturday night with a takeaway and a movie, to see if I do actually enjoy it.
Wednesday- October 2nd - we're having a team get together in the evening. I know at least 2 not drinking as they will be driving and never risk even one glass. The place chosen is known for its food rather than drinks menu, so I'm not worried. Actually looking forward to it, we always have a laugh at work so I know I'll have a good time sober.
Then I'm hibernating. May defrost on December 1st, like Mariah Carey.