The support thread for anyone trying to lead an alcohol free life.

[WendyWagon]

Hello and welcome. We are a bunch of people (mainly women) trying to give up alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans who can offer advice and signposting.

We don't encourage moderation purely as it can be triggering for some to read.

I'm Wendy and I'll be the captain of the ship for the next two months or so.
I gave up drinking in January 2022.

Morning all.
I'm off out for a big breakfast at the canal spot. I think that will be the last of the meat. I'm finding it hard to get it down me. I'm sticking to fish at present.
My taste buds really have changed since giving up the grog.
Bright and breezy here.

I think I might have Covid. I have no tests and no way of sourcing any, but I feel grim.

I am about to join a poetry Zoom. I haven’t shared the fact that I am a poet as it often scares people 😂, but I need to look at least poet presentable - lower standards than most, but still applicable - and I look like I slept in a skip.

I will report back later. Hang on in there, holidaymakers. You can do it, and we’ve got your back.

Morning shipmates. Greetings from Sid-central.

@ShyMaryEllen that's rotten about the Covid; really hope you will be feeling better soon. Exciting about the poetry, what a great gift to have. I'd be crap at that. Hope you have a lovely Zoom session.

@WendyWagon hope you enjoyed your breakfast. Been a couple of years since I gave up the meat. I was finding it harder to digest. Plus some of my work has been in the farming line for the past few years and, well, I just can't anymore. I don't miss it. I do love fish though. I am making teriyaki salmon for my tea tomorrow. Nomnomnom...

Sid is asleep, after a hard night on the tiles. See for yourself...

Strength and love to you. xx

Afternoon All.

I am a resolute meat eater but my DM also says that as she is getting older meat is becoming more difficult to digest. I also try to get 2g of protein per kg/day. Which is very hard without meat.

Hope you enjoyed the brekkie @WendyWagon .

Sorry about the potential COVID @ShyMaryEllen . But I'm a bit star-struck about the poetry 🤩. I would have loved to be able to use words like that.

Hi 👋🏻 Sid. Thank you for your poem yesterday. I was feeling quite emotional for some reason in the afternoon so I really appreciated it. @REP22

Glad you liked the poem @EastCoastDamsel ; it's certainly helped me through some very bleak times. A few of us are having a bit of a dark season at the moment. It's absolutely OK to admit that we are not OK. Hang in there, even though it's grim. You're a great shipmate to have aboard with us. It will be alright soon. Even if it doesn't seem like it for a bit. ❤❤x

Afternoon campers. I'm back from the rural restaurant. We were too late for the big monty I had to have a burger. As I'm allergic to pork it was probably just as well. The last time I ate sausages I had to scarper back home pronto.
I love a poem @shymaryellen.
How wonderful. Stick some lippy on and wear a floaty shawl. You'll be fine.

Lots going on near us with a march this evening. We are not even close to the town thank God. I saw all the rozzers heading to the town. My late mother use to do deterant duties when I was little. Blinking scary. Mind you so were her dogs, no gentle Sid with her, German Shepherds only. One would have had your hand off. Good for errant boyfriends.
The DS was told not to go into his London place of work. Difficult times. Keep safe everyone.

Blimey @WendyWagon , that's a bit scary. I'm thankful that I live in a rural area. I've no doubt that Sid would step up if required, but never would he or I want it to come to that. I feel sorry for the rozzers, their jobs are hard enough without all this added aggro. I'm so angry at the idiots stoking all this hate and discord, really saddened.

We've had two corporate emails come round at work saying that this stuff from employees or representatives won't be tolerated and will be immediately dealt with, and what to do if we feel threatened or unsafe. Worrying times.

I hope all will be OK in your area and that none of it touches upon our friends on here or elsewhere. xx

It’s like they have all gone mad.we are quite rural as well so absolutely nothing happening here thank goodness

Morning everyone . I love it “here” . All this love and positivity for each other is warming . Even in the face of not a little adversity you all just keep supporting each other including me .
i had a day of feeling relatively normal yesterday . Work was fine despite the broken rib still reminding me I’m a bit broken more ways than one.

no idea if I’ll drink tonight , tomorrow, on holiday because that’s how it’s been for so long. I shall check in here instead of the fridge and do my best to ride the wave of craving until it’s gone. Wave it off like a bad house guest , watch it drift past me on the sushi wheel . Have a cup of tea . Not cook dinner …..
hope you all have a lovely day . X

@Souredgrapes I'd recommend getting something really nice in to drink (non alcoholic obvs) and tell yourself you have a special treat just for tonight that you're going to have instead. In the early days I always found it easier if I had a plan

I'm day 7 today, using the One Year No Beer AF 28 day challenge.

I like to have a total break one or two months out of the year but this time was really ready for it. The drinking was creeping in to the point I was having a glass of wine or a beer every day, and more than that on weekends. Obvs this time of year there have been lots of lovely weekend plans with friends and family. Bbqs, beer gardens, outdoor concerts so quite a lot of extra weekend drinking. I'm almost less worried about that than the weekday wine. My job has been really stressful lately and the quickest way to get from 60 to 0 is with alcohol.

I've been looking at other ways to keep busy on evenings to break that habit. So far this week I've done some studying and had my mum over for tea, went for a walk and went to the gym after work. Today I am on call so wouldn't be drinking any way. I'm going to get some Becks Blue in to help me navigate Friday night and need to plan something nice for the weekend.

OYNB suggests I treat myself at the end of week 1, but I don't want a takeaway as they suggest, as I'm trying to be healthy. Any ideas on what would be a good week 1 treat?

🌅 all!

Good to see you back @Souredgrapes . I would like to echo @Itsrainingten 's suggestion
In the beginning I bought some really nice AF alterative aperitif (Botovo and Gimber) which I mixed with tonic and had outside in the sunshine after a walk. They were nothing like "booze" yet also not a soft drink.

I only used them for about a week and still have some left. Which I have occasionally when others are having a drink in the deck before dinner etc.

Welcome @Wazzzzzuuuuuuup , well done on 7 days! I totally empathise with the 60 to 0 sentiment. I replaced booze with meditation and a Shakti after work to give a similar effect on the first few weeks..

In terms of a treat, why don't you calculate how much you've saved and spend it on something frivolous? I was drinking a lot of good wine (easily £15/bottle - I was telling myself that I was a wine afficionado thatcher than a lush) every week so saving in the region of £100/week (I know this is insane) so treated myself to some nice makeup.

Morning all. A quiet one here. I need to do some sorting.
I used my saved wine money to have laser treatment on my drinker's veins then later therapy.

Morning all.
Good to hear from you @Souredgrapes . I’m with @Itsrainingten and @EastCoastDamsel - I always found it easier to have a plan. It’s quite helpful to build up a sobriety “toolkit” of things to help you ride the cravings. This may look very different for different people- I remember one poster had a strong adverse reaction to the suggestion of warm baths and candles 🤣.

So your toolkit may include Af alternatives, loud music, long walks, yoga, running, podcasts, a nice bath (if you like that kind of thing…)

I also used to have a very clear idea of how a successful night looked - ticking off my teacup on the app (I use TryDry) and sitting in bed with a camomile tea and a book. But then I am very goal oriented, which is not necessarily a good thing!

Welcome @Wazzzzzuuuuuuup and well done on your 7 days. Yes, a takeaway does seem an odd reward! Something frivolous and feel good sounds much better. I developed a quite expensive hammam habit in the early days!

quick check in to send love and peace to all. had a weird crave yesterday for a cold beer or glass of fizz out of nowhere. did not respond. had a cold kombucha and dark choc and reminded myself where it all ends and that i want to be healthy and alive to collect my pension in 13 years time!

learning that my risky times are when i feel GOOD

what a journey we are all on.

welcome @Wazzzzzuuuuuuup you've come to the right place

@Onewildandpreciouslife hello. podcasts are such a stalwart of my toolkit... have been living sober powered and we can do hard things. both feel like free therapy!

loving, not living. typing in between work meetings

Hellooooo all, just dropping in.. been working on aging parents and teens. Nothing like being the sandwich filling. Not succumbed to the temptation of obliterating it with wine. Have to say the sitting with feelings is getting easier but sometimes those feelings get significantly more powerful. Good to see plenty of familiar names here, and some new ones. I will endeavor to hang around for a bit and catch up

Hello all welcome to @Wazzzzzuuuuuuup. Lovely to see you post @Souredgrapes.

Anyone feel like perimenopause is part of their current situation? I have had some difficult stuff recently (family member waiting for cancer results, DD waiting for health test results and a new lump, bit of family upset.) But I have just been crying a lot recently. It's struck me that it may not all be about alcohol, (even with the difficult stuff the crying is a bit excessive!) but could be peri as well. I worked hard not to succumb last night and didn't not.

Has anyone else had similar? Anyone had HRT - and found it helpful or not alongside being alcohol free?

@Womanshour me! I'm mid 40s and at the beginning of the year was an absolute mess. My go said it was either antidepressants or HRT and my choice as to which one I should try first. I had blood tests which showed my hormone levels are all normal so no sign of menopause so I was a bit dubious but thought I'd give it a try. I honestly feel like a different person. I do think being AF since mid December last year is a massive part of that but it's not all of it. I think HRT has definitely helped. Why not give it a try? You can always stop if you see no difference

I totally agree that we need to find our own way through this. Who hated baths? 😂😂
My bath/bed/smelly oil/hypnosis routine was central to my sobriety, but that's because I needed to find a way to go to bed sober, after years of basically passing out when I hit the pillow, then waking early when the wine wore off. I honestly didn't think I could sleep without a drink, and having a routine in the chaos really helped.

I absolutely understand that there are different strokes for different folks, though. I couldn't get away with quit lit, but others swear by it. If it works, it's good.

I got some ginger Kombucha with turmeric from Sainsbury's. It feels quite like a 'grown up' drink - can recommend it.

I think I exaggerated when I said I might have Covid. I feel ok today, so it was probably just a cold or something. I had a sleepless night - was awake until 3.45 - so I'm tired, but don't feel as rough as yesterday. My husband will join me tomorrow for the weekend, but I am staying on until the end of next week. If I had still felt ill I would have put him off, but I think there's no need.

Thanks @Itsrainingten that is great to hear that it's helped. I have been wanting to talk to the GP about it for about a year but honestly couldn't face going in case they did a blood test and discovered my terrible drinking secret. I guess I don't have that worry now. Except for one slip it's over 5 months since I stopped so maybe I should book in and talk to someone... did you ask to speak to anyone in particular or was it just anyone they gave you? X

Good morning all, hope you're having a good day so far.

Welcome @Wazzzzzuuuuuuup - nice to meet you. I too have looked to the drink to destress after work, along with a variety of other reasons. Congratulations on the 7 days, that's brilliant, and by no means easy. It's a brave step and much to be admired. Distraction and keeping busy is an excellent strategy, it's one I employ as often as I can. Planning ahead and keeping occupied. And I do very much love @Onewildandpreciouslife 's suggestion of a sobriety toolkit. Very wise indeed.

I like to treat myself with some chocolate milkshake instead of the booze. But a proper treat/reward for a difficult week would be buying myself a 'posh' lipstick, or a little something else I've had my eye on for a while. Some new perfume or something like that. I'd consider myself well-rewarded with a takeaway, but know that retribution via Slimming World would come a-calling afterwards! Whatever you treat yourself with, I'm sure it will be well-deserved and I hope you enjoy it. 🙂

Barking of SW, I somehow managed to lose 4.5lbs this week. Very happy with that. That'll be the Dartmoor week kicking in I expect. I am putting away cherries like nobody's business; got some lovely ones on our local market stall. Thank goodness they're syn-free.

@Souredgrapes sorry your rib is still giving you jip. And @Womanshour , I am so sorry that life is unfair on you right now. Sending you and all those who aren't in a great place right now lots of love and sympathy. I think peri-menopause is also waving at me with undeserved enthusiasm... 🤔Hope it will all be on the mend very soon. @ShyMaryEllen so glad you are feeling a bit more chipper and the 'rona is likely not to blame. Hope all continues to improve.

Deeply chuffed with @ponzusoup , @Fortheloveofgodwhy and everyone else triumphing over temptation and not succumbing. Rarely, if ever, easy but so, so worth it and satisfying. I have struggles, though they are getting easier.

Here's one of my reasons. Go on - look into those eyes, right at them, and tell him that you're about to drink that stuff that makes you fall over and be sick - and that you won't be able to play with him tomorrow because you're too hungover/still p!ssed.

I can't do it. He would forgive, but he would always wonder why and never quite understand. I don't doubt that I will disappoint him again at some point. But I will hate myself for it, and those eyes will go right through me.

Strength and very much love to you. xx

@Womanshour it was a bit different because I was already in contact with the mental health support nurse at the clinic and she booked me an appointment. I did have it with a lady GP but I'm not sure whether that was intentional or random. I'd probably explain to the receptionist / or explain on your econsult what you want the appointment for and ask them if there's someone specific you can see? Good luck.

Thanks @Itsrainingten ill give it a try.

I have raised it a few years ago and was told I was too young (I know I'm not...).

@REP22 well done on the weight loss! That's brilliant! Ha! I love that... yes peri really is coming for me too with undeserved enthusiasm!!
Xx