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Alcohol support

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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

The support thread for anyone trying to lead an alcohol free life.

981 replies

WendyWagon · 30/06/2024 08:50

Hello and welcome. We are a bunch of people (mainly women) trying to give up alcohol. No judgement, just honest support and kindness
The original thread was started by @drybird2020 in 2020 and we have plenty of veterans who can offer advice and signposting.

We don't encourage moderation purely as it can be triggering for some to read.

I'm Wendy and I'll be the captain of the ship for the next two months or so.
I gave up drinking in January 2022.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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EastCoastDamsel · 05/08/2024 19:27

Evening, just popping into say I have listened to this episode of Sober Powered this evening and found it quite enlightening. It's only 20min(or so) long

open.spotify.com/episode/1DUBpGsTosqPIqGEDHY0ha?si=fflN0M7DRui-oI5-9VMZGQ

ShyMaryEllen · 05/08/2024 20:44

I think Sid actually quite liked his lofty perch halfway up the stairs!

Halfway up the stairs is the stair where I sit. . . .

Oh. that's a bit image-heavy, but it won't let me edit the pics. Never mind,

Robin the Frog- Halfway Down the Stairs

Song: Halfway Down the StairsBy: Robin the FrogMuppets Revisited CD Coming out on 2010!"Halfway Down the Stairs" song will be performed by Amy Lee!Lyrics:Hal...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPhuafy0G3I

Womanshour · 06/08/2024 07:07

Morning all.

Hope your DH had a better night @WendyWagon. X

EastCoastDamsel · 06/08/2024 07:33

Morning 👋🏻.
Hope all are well.

Weather bit drizzly here. Cold seems to have resolved. Off for a run this morning.

Reframe app stopped working today so going to keep a track of my days on here until it is up.and running.

Have written a negative review as it was a great help to me in my first 30 days and it could have been really detrimental if it crashed constantly (like it is now) during this time.

Day 66

Sillymummies123 · 06/08/2024 07:44

Hi all

I'm on my first day 3 for many many months and my god, I feel rubbish. I did 5 months last year and I know how much better i felt in myself.

The first few weeks are hard, bdcsuse as I'm constantly a bit withdrawal, I feel much worse in the mornings than I did when hungover!

ponzusoup · 06/08/2024 07:49

morning all and @EastCoastDamsel day 66 is brilliant app or no app

have to say i'm finding it easier as the days go by. had a weekend at my besties and really for the first time managed to be relatively honest about how bad my drinking had got and the sneaky drinking is started to do because no one else drank fast enough.

am over the 100 day mark and never ever thought i'd get here. have done a sober holiday, gigs, festival, dinners reunions and even my mum!!!! al sober! my mental health is 100% better and i am starting to lose a few pounds. sometimes i feel born again. relationship with kids is main winner. they asked me last night if i think ill ever drink again. i was honest and said i dont know. life's problems are still there and DD2 has major spinal op in september. however, i feel stronger.

love and support to all. what a life saving, life changing thread and thanks to all you regular long termers who take the time to maintain it. xxx

ponzusoup · 06/08/2024 07:52

@Sillymummies123 welcome. you've done 5 months before and you can do it again. keep checking in on here especially during wobbles and craves. after a few more days you'll start to get the benefits physically and mentally. eat well and rest if you can. your family will totally thank you. these things will pass. xx

ponzusoup · 06/08/2024 07:56

@sid 💜

EastCoastDamsel · 06/08/2024 07:58

That is amazing @ponzusoup . I am starting to feel like I can be a little more honest too..maybe because I am being more honest with myself.

👋🏻 @Sillymummies123 the first few days are so tough! Hang in there. I linked to it last night but just found the Sober Powered podcast and am finding the short, science based episodes really interesting. In particulate the episodes.on energy and metabolism that helped me understand why I felt so horribly exhausted for the first few days and weeks. (I think they were episodes 33 and 203 - but I could be wrong). I find her voice a little irritating.

I spent a lot of time resting, napping, going to bed early and listening to sober stuff on Spotify/audible too.

Keep posting!

Moriartea · 06/08/2024 08:07

Morning all, night one of holiday done!!

It was tough, that 5pm itch when I was doing dinner, that was usually when I would have a beer and I could see my parents both having one....I tried to keep distracted but I did find it really hard and almost asked them for a beer several times. But I didn't and I'm proud of that!

Next challenge was when we were all playing cards in the evening and they had whisky, I had hot chocolate instead so at least I had something but it wasn't the same 🤣
However, I did it and I hope it'll get easier going forward

Day 5 in total...let's keep going

Well done to everyone else, reading your stories is hugely helpful

ShyMaryEllen · 06/08/2024 08:25

I swear I’m not on commission, but if anyone is interested in hypnosis, Clear Minds Hypnosis have a sale on, and you can get further reductions with the code 24krx40. There is a bundle of alcohol reduction tracks on there just now that’s already reduced and the code gets 40% off the sale price.

WendyWagon · 06/08/2024 08:38

Morning all and ahoy from a wet shiny deck. It's raining here.

I'm using the MN app and it won't let me link this morning so welcome back Silly mummies.
Well done ponzsoup.

Lots going on business wise but difficult getting contracts out of people.

I'm reviewing a bit of quit lit at the moment as I felt 'f*ck theory' creeping in.

OP posts:
Onewildandpreciouslife · 06/08/2024 09:59

Well done on your 100 days @ponzusoup ! Lovely to hear all your benefits.

Welcome back @Sillymummies123 . You are at the hardest part now - you should start to feel better at days 4 - 5, and much better from day 10. Dig in, and post as much as you need to

Well done on your first night away @Moriartea . It takes real strength to think “nope, this isn’t serving me, I want to do things differently”. There is a great quote by Laura McKowen which is something like “The question is not whether things are bad enough to have to change, but whether things are good enough to stay the same. And underneath it all, the question: am I free?”

Hang in there @WendyWagon

REP22 · 06/08/2024 11:15

@ShyMaryEllen Hahaha - I was thinking exactly of that song when I posted that picture!! 😀I even sang it to Sid when I was taking it! He wasn't impressed. I love Robin; he's great as Tiny Tim in Muppet Christmas Carol (a masterpiece if ever there was one).

@EastCoastDamsel absolutely weeing down here. Hope your run wasn't too soggy. Sorry about the Reframe app, that's very disappointing. I hate it when things like that let us down. I use the I Am Sober app. Brilliant on the 66 days. ❤

Congratulations on the 100+ @ponzusoup ; that's a fantastic achievement - so good to read about your progress, it gives life and spirit to us all.

Top stuff also to @Moriartea , you are doing so, so well. I don't underestimate how challenging it must be at times, but you are absolutely rocking it.

Hello again @Sillymummies123 good on you for coming back and making it to another day 3. It's not easy. I have been there myself numerous times and know how crap it is. Don't beat yourself up too badly; you're not an awful person. It is so, so easy to fall to temptation. But you can make it. We believe in you. It won't always be this sh-te. It will be alright soon. ❤

I am off back to Slimming World tonight. I didn't go last week, as I couldn't face the scales. Ridiculous, but I hate myself when I fail. I sneaked into the doctors last night, where there is a weight machine in a discreet side area. According to that I have lost 3lbs, but the scales are notorious for being calibrated differently to the SW one, so my hopes are for only partial success. Hope you all have a good day and that it isn't raining too hard where you are. Sidney is not a lover of the rain. Here he is, laughing and dancing in inexpressible delight at the utter soaking received on his walk.

Strength and love. Keep going - I know you can do it. xx

The support thread for anyone trying to lead an alcohol free life.
ShyMaryEllen · 06/08/2024 12:08

I'm reviewing a bit of quit lit at the moment as I felt 'fck theory' creeping in.

Me too about the f*ck it thing. I am on my own for 2 weeks, so the temptation combined with the knowledge that no-one would be any the wiser is real. I am planning a bedroom blitz this afternoon, and have some bath oil ready to draft in this evening, so I can start looking forward to bedtime early, and sleep in a tidy room that smells good and listen to my hypnosis app which I've recently updated.

I need a serious reset for the first time since I stopped drinking seven years ago at the end of this month. At least some of that is because of the knowledge that I was misdiagnosed, but maybe it's because of the well-known 'thing' about seven year cycles?

REP22 · 06/08/2024 12:37

@ShyMaryEllen The "f-ck-it button" regularly looms large for me too. Distraction is key. Sounds like your plans are good ones. I've also found it helpful to have a solid plan for the next morning too - something I will like doing, that would not be possible if hungover/still-p-ssed.

A bathroom/bedroom blitz is a fantastic idea. I blitzed the bathroom just prior to my last holiday and was so glad I did - I actually looked forward to using it as I was coming home (and some Percy Pig scented shower gel from M&S completed the happy return). I also unblocked/repaired the hoover yesterday in anticipation of a vacuuming fiesta this weekend (Friday nights into Saturday are often a particular challenge for me). Sid doesn't like the Dyson. He sits on the bed and mutters filth under his breath when it appears.

All power to you. You haven't come so far to only make it this far. 💗x

ShyMaryEllen · 06/08/2024 12:58

Thank you @REP22 . I like being on my own usually, and husband is not with me as he's overseeing home improvements, which I really don't want to be doing, but I just feel a bit disconnected. Maybe it's The News (which I understand is not part of the discussions on our thread), but I'm just wondering about the point of everything, and want to blot things out.

I'm in a caravan that poses as a lodge. The bathroom is basic to say the least. But there is a bath, and I do have lovely bath oil, and the matching stuff for the bedroom. I can do this. If Sid's not too busy, put him on a train and I'll pick him up? I'd enjoy his company for a few days, and wouldn't let him down on the alcohol front.

REP22 · 06/08/2024 13:43

@ShyMaryEllen - I totally understand. The news at the moment is sickening. Hijacking of a senseless tragedy by moronic nasty thugs. I don't know what's worse; the witless goons perpetrating the thuggery or the crowing harridans, some with children in tow, cheering them on and filming it on their phones. Deeply, deeply unsettling. I'm ashamed to be of the same species as these fools. I fear it will go too far - it's already gone too far actually - someone will be killed/maimed. But we have to hope that good will come out of it. Hopefully stringent new measures to curb the online bile of the likes of Robinson/Tate and their neanderthal ilk and make people more accountable. Good will prevail in the end, even if it doesn't seem like it at the moment.

There are good people out there still. The people of Southport who clean up the streets and refuse to engage with the anarchy in their incredible but dignified anguish. Lots of people doing the right thing. It's just that the gits are shouting the loudest at the moment. It's very upsetting.

You can certainly do this. You are strong. The caravan sounds nice and the bath will be lovely. Some nice hot chocolate while you dry off would be nice. Sid likes a caravan (I think he'd quite like to be Timmy in the Famous Five. I always wanted to be George).

I'd be happy to send him to stay with you and give you snuggles and companionship in your outpost (though I would miss him - it's just he and me at home). But I caution you - he is gaseous today. Don't light a candle to accompany your bath - the whole place would go up, and there'd just be a crater with tiny tin filings at the bottom where the caravan used to be...💨😉 x

ShyMaryEllen · 06/08/2024 14:22

I am such a poseur that I actually have a Velvetiser in my caravan 😂. I can do posh hot chocolate for visitors, but understand that dogs are unable to partake of such delights.

Ach, I know that the nonsense is senseless, and I don't want to look for excuses that exonerate me by blaming the idiots. I am just weakening, I think, It's hard just now.

My grandpuppy is also a dreadful farter. Something to do with his shape leading to constricted space for intestines. He pongs though.

REP22 · 06/08/2024 15:03

Oooh, I'd love a velvetiser. Does it work on lattes, do you think...?

I think the farting is a male thing. My late Staffie was the same. The girls were far more fragrant. Sid does not have an offensive bottom in general. But - every so often - when he does it, he does it right. 😷

Stay strong. Your inner goddess has got this. 💓xx

EastCoastDamsel · 06/08/2024 15:10

Just popping into say how very grateful I am that you are all here.

Reading your kind, honest and very real posts are such a support to me.

💐💐💐💐💐 All round.

REP22 · 06/08/2024 15:47

@EastCoastDamsel ❤❤️ So glad you are here with us too. Keep at it. It's worth it. YOU'RE worth it. Honestly. I know it's horrible at the moment. It won't always be.

I have just remembered a poem I read somewhere, when I was younger. I'm not one for poetry much, but this stayed with me, remained, and saw me through some very, very tough times - long before drinking was ever a factor in my life - and it's just popped into my head again now, while I was tapping out this little reply to @EastCoastDamsel ! Most odd. But here it is, for you all.

It's called Keep Going, by Edgar Guest, and was originally written, I think, in 1921.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
And the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns.
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than it seems
To a faint and faltering man.
Often the struggler has given up when he
Might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are.
It may be near when it seems afar.
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit.
It's when things seem worst that
You must not quit.

The number of times I have repeated to myself those last three lines; in a variety of situations, is too many to reckon. Apologies if it's a bit twee - but I share it with you now with love from me and Sid.

Keep going. xx

WendyWagon · 06/08/2024 18:40

Evening all.
I have just scoffed cottage pie with courgette medley. @rep22 I might be joining Sid!
My cockapoo is not a trumper but my childhood lab was. Both boys. Mind you the lab ate nextdoor's turkey and a whole Christmas cake one year.
The DS has returned to London with nothing accepted on the house. I expect trouble.
I flogged some stuff on fleebay so I spent it in the Lands End sale. Hoorah.
We do discuss lots of things on this thread. If it is stressful to you ask advice from the sober sisters. We are all sorts. Medics, lawyers, finance people etc.
Some have difficult parents, some still have young children.
Personally I have a completely mad family but that was down to my late matriarch mother. Better that bottling things up.
This blinking app won't let you edit anything. I'm going to try to disable it because it's not giving me history either.

OP posts:
REP22 · 06/08/2024 21:07

@WendyWagon I will book a slot in the Albert Hall for the next Proms.... "Sid 'n' Wend's Marvellous Methane Medleys". 🌬🎵😉 There won't be a dry seat in the house...

Night all. Sleep well xx

Womanshour · 06/08/2024 22:12

@ponzusoup huge congratulations and how amazing to be feeling those benefits, you've worked bloody hard to achieve that.