New April continuing thread for living an alcohol free life - all welcome

[livingalivelife]

Hello! This is the continuation of a thread started originally by drybird, and subsequently continued by many fabulous and now sober mumsnetters. It's provides huge amounts of non-judgmental support, cameraderie and good humour to anyone venturing on an alcohol free life.

I've been on the thread several times, lapsed and been welcomed back, which I have hugely appreciated. This time I am determined to stay AF and I'm now on day 44. There is so much experience here on offer - how to get through that first sober Friday night, family party, night out, festive celebration, work do etc etc. And also loads of info on great resources to help in the AF journey - podcasts, books, websites, different kinds of support groups and counselling, or going it alone - the emphasis is on whatever works for you.

This is a thread for those who are living alcohol free, and if you're looking to cut down (lucky you if you're one of those people can have one glass of wine and not think - what's the point of that?), there are other great threads elsewhere in the alcohol topic for moderate drinking.

Looking forward to more clearheaded, shamefree mornings and sober adventures ahead ...

@EastCoastDamsel anxiety was as @livingalivelife said part of why I stopped, but it's also something I need to work on, as for you it was also a trigger to drink (despite those intense 3am anxiety sessions....)

I really agree about exercise. My heart rate has decreased from 80 / 90 bpm to 60ish. That extra pressure its huge and must have left me feeling I wasn't too far from a crisis just from how hard my heart was having to work.

I have my own reasons to feel anxious, but in the moment noticing anxiety makes me feel panicy, being able to know it's anxiety and will go helps me. Also walking, soothing TV etc. But it's a work in progress no dought sometime this week I'll be posting saying how awful and anxious I am feeling.

Hi @livingalivelife hope you are doing well x

Same here! When I notice I am anxious, I just get more anxious 🤷🏻‍♀️

Afternoon all. Just checking back in after a week on holiday. Hope you're all doing OK.

Holiday was... interesting. I was screamed at in the car by DM (triggertriggertrigger) for "taking the Lord's name in vain" when I said 'oh god' after the SatNav sent me down the wrong way, screamed at when the dog sat on a cushion in the accommodation, screamed at for stopping at the services so the dog could wee. Ah bliss. It's always nice to get away. Might try Mordor next time, that looks like fun.

But sober and here. Strength and love to you. xx

@REP22 sorry the holiday wasnt great. Your MIL sounds like a nightmare. Well done for staying AF, especially under the circumstances

Good morning
I'm dropping by very briefly again with apologies. I have an overwhelming work situation - again. It's too much. Time to cut down on that one too...

Welcome @EastCoastDamsel and congratulations on a fabulous day 9. sounds like you are doing many great things to support your sobriety.

hope you are feeling better @ponzusoup

Thanks @NextPhaseOfLife I'm fine thankyou apart from realising that yet again i've taken on far too much - staying with the anxiety here too. x

Hang in there, @livingalivelife

I’m realising another benefit of a sober life - productive evenings. We’re in a rush trying to redecorate before new furniture is delivered (earlier than anticipated). The fact I can actually achieve things after 7pm is a big help.

@HappyAsAGrig totally this. Turns out there are so many more hours in the day ..

Morning,

Gorgeous morning here today. D10 for me. Busy day at work but planning dog walk at lunch and short run in the evening.

Hope everyone has a good day.

IWNDWYT

Good morning.
I drove a short distance yesterday which I haven't done since the end of April. I then escaped to the supermarket. I wish they would make a Pimms AF. A bit of freedom to be out.

Nothing to report re work. Three board members are on sick leave. Projects are on hold. Nothing from the fragrance house yet.
I did manage some sorting in the garden on Sunday which is progress.

Have a good day my friends.

morning soo and thanks for kindness and tips to support on this journey. feeling ok today but have a surgeon appointment with youngest DD and eldest has an exam so potential stress is high but that's why i gave up the flipping booze to get through all this and so drinking ain't gonna help!

love to you all

@livingalivelife a special shout out to you. remember to breathe, make lists, whatever will get you through, which as we all know, isn't drinking. hope you find a way through - you are strong enough to choose sobriety and so you can get do pretty much anything.

Worth a try @WendyWagon ?

Thanks @Itsrainingten - much appreciated. Alas, it is my own M, not a MiL. MILs I can deal with, hehe. Ah well, the dog is on my side and that is OK with me. I can't change the way she is.

I have to admit, although they are wonderful, helpful folk with good intentions who do amazing work, I do take an issue with the mantra of Al-Anon (otherwise excellent support resource for families of drinkers), to which she took herself with the glittering mantle of 'pained holy martyr' - until she was asked to leave by her own counsellor because her screaming intolerance and abuse was distressing, avowedly intransigent, and very counter-productive to both me and themselves - they say "I can't cure it" (absolutely agree); "I can't control it" (no issue with that one); "I didn't cause it" (ah. There our paths diverge.) My late father was often the voice of compassion and reason. He is much missed. I was not allowed to speak at his funeral or memorial services. I was "an embarrassment" (because I quoted a line from Harry Potter at my nanny's funeral).

BUT - I have so many things to be thankful for, And sobriety and greater clarity are but two of them. Off to the breast clinic now - the lump has returned and brought its mates with it. 😡But it will be OK, I'm sure of it.

Strength and love to you all. @livingalivelife rooting for you in your difficult work week. ❤And to you all who are struggling a bit. Keep going. It will be alright soon. x

Good luck at the breast clinic today @REP22

And thinking of you and your struggles with a your DM. 🫂

Blinking funerals, I was banned from speaking at my brother's @REP22
Some will remember his eldest daughter was a nightmare. I didn't even get asked if I wanted a jumper. I did.
So many of us have/had difficult mothers. Bullying and jealousy was my mother's modus operandi. God knows why because she was stunningly beautiful and much loved by my father.

A funny thing my daughter says is 'on the Lords day' if she hears anything saucy on a Sunday. She's an atheist so it's very funny.

Hello all, day 100 alcohol free today! Typically I feel awful with a bug, but pleased I'm af. I'm not having the best time with a manager at the moment, they tried (and managed) to make me feel like an idiot in a team meeting this week. I'm starting to keep my eye out for something else.

Hope you're all well x

@Womanshour - congratulations on 100 days ! That’s an awesome achievement 🎉👏🎉

Thanks @Onewildandpreciouslife I am proud. I've felt so crap about not being able to get to day 2 so often so I'm pleased to be getting some distance between me and booze. X

Well done @Womanshour that's fabulous!!
DH (normally not much of a drinker) went out last night with work. He said he'd be back at 9ish, got back at midnight and said his "head was spinning" I'm so glad it's not me 🤢
He has a 3 hour meeting today and will have to do the school runs because he's WFH and I'm in the office plus we have a house viewing during the day. I was feeling a bit stressed FOR him having to deal with all that with a hangover.
Can't be cross because he very rarely drinks but god it's strengthened my resolve to stay AF. Yuck.

Thank you @Itsrainingten. My dh is a heavy drinking as I WAS. I am finding it increasingly tough tbh. It does strengthen your resolve though!

Sorry to hear that. Hopefully he'll soon see how much better your life is now and join you

Good luck to xxx♥️

Morning all! Amazing achievement @Womanshour ! Well done 🎉🎉🎉

Day 11 here and finding it easier to moderate my eating AND not having insane sugar cravings anymore (these were basically a constant presence in my life, even on drinking days come mid afternoon but especially when trying to have a "Dry Day".)

On the subject of DH's, mine is/was also as heavy a drinker but when I told him I was quitting and asked him not to drink in the house he has stepped up and is sticking to AF beers in the evening. He also has started listening to This Naked Mind and has reported that he is 2 chapters in and agrees with everything so far!

I must say, even if he doesn't decide to go totally AF, I am relieved as I think this will change his relationship with booze also and I was wondering what the impact would be on our relationship and me if he was continuing to drink in the old patterns.

But, having said that, I have always been the more committed smoker/drinker in our relationship.

When I used to smoke, it was my absolute FAVOURITE thing (20/day from age 20 to 30) and though he would smoke as much as I did, he would rarely buy his own and just smoke mine. When I quit, he quit too (though he will still have a few when "out" and I can't ever imagine touching the cancer sticks again). Same with booze, I have never felt much conflict about my drinking (even when I knew that there was probably an issue).

It is also why I have NEVER touched any other substances as in the back of my mind I am aware that I might like them too much.

So I am probably the enabler in the relationship 😥

Sorry for the ramble.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Morning all.
Well done @Womanshour
A 100 days is a great achievement.

@Womanshour

Massive congratulation on your 100 days. Here's the next 100 !!