On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat *2024*

[Swannyb]

@amdone123 @mj20 @touty @Hohofortherobbers @Coppergate7 @bigbus @colouringindoors @wellitywellness @Atacamadesert @Freezingfeetwarmheart @WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast @Hohofortherobbers @mickandrorty @Mykittensmittens @afaloren @NoTeaNoShade @CrackersCheeseNoWinePlease @LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

I hope everyone's doing well. I think I'm going to survive day 3 - got home from work having had my (very mild, will be very serious if there's a next) slap on the wrists at work, opened the fridge and there was a half finished bottle of white from the weekend.

And for a splint second I contemplated opening it but then grabbed it and sinked it.

Small wins are definitely the way.

Well done for sinking that half bottle - not easy to do. And well done on Day 3.
Small wins are great - I think they can give you confidence to actually get this drinking lark ùnder control.

Morning all. Lost another battle with the Rosé Wine Witch last night. Had a few glasses. Broke the never drink alone rule. Feel deflated.
Am going to stay with my sibling next week for a few days with family, not sure that I'm going to manage well.
Fed up with the weather too.
Well done @Liverpool52 , that is a battle well won.
Off to the pool but no motivation. SSS

Hope you feel better after the swim @Nowstrong. When you say it will be tricky staying with your sibling, is that because there will be opportunities/ pressure to drink because of the social nature of the visit, or because your sibling is a nightmare who drives you to drink? With my dsis it's a bit of both 😂- I love her to death but she does grind my gears a bit (pretty sure it's mutual). She also parties like she's in freshers week.

@Liverpool52 well done on ditching the open bottle. So easy to embark on the "well it wasn't that bad" narrative, even when dying of mortification less than 24 hours earlier (been there, done that, many times). So good on you for putting the brakes on.

@Trolleytoken both! won't start on my relationship with them, because that is a WHOLE other thread. Still love 'em to bits, but gosh can grind my gears (never heard that expression before and like it). Am feeling much more motivated after a good swim, thank you.
@Liverpool52 (and many others I'm sure), my drains MUST have alcohol problems with the amount of stuff I pour down them. My bins also get copious amounts of biscuits, cake and chocolate...underneath something mushy so I can't dig them out 🙄

@Nowstrong I'd never of thought of that! Poor drains at my house. I might have to try that approach with snacks as well. I never bin those when I really should.

Friday night is rapidly approaching and usually DH and I would have both worked from home and we'd be on our way out for a walk by now (we can usually finish early on a Friday) which usually leads to the first pint. But he's working out of the house and no early finish so that's actually helped.

How's everyone else doing as we approach the Bank Holiday?

Hi everyone @Swannyb @Amdone123 @Bigbus @Trolleytoken @Touty @Nowstrong sorry if I missed people!
so up to my usual trick of having a nice night, bottle of wine… and waking up on the middle of the night anxious, regretful and wondering how I’m not learning anything!!!!! Also feeling sorry for myself that I “only” had a bottle and had a good night but this now happens everytime!!! I know I’ll drift off in an hour or so and wake so much brighter but I hate this feeling and it now seeks the default when I have more that 2 drinks. Racked with guilt and feeling in a blind panic!!!!! Off to a bday party tomorrow where I will drink, but I’ll be fine there as I’ll stick to two drinks (my safe zone)! Rereading old posts for comfort but seriously what is all this about, my lack of control when I know I feel like this but at the time it’s like I think I don’t put the two things together. All thoughts welcome xxx

Hi again all…..
as predicted I’ve woken up not feeling as awful! However still slightly regretful I drank too much, smoked and of course texted loads!! I wasn’t even that drunk…. Bottle of wine enjoyed over 4hours but I know it’s more than I can have without the night panic! I do t struggle from refraining I just struggle to limit myself to the 2 drinks I know is my max. Anyway, going to get up and doing and hope the regrets and headache pass ready for my lovely day out!!!

Hope everyone else is ok xx

Good morning @Mj20 and everyone else. I have exactly the same experience sometimes and again I can’t explain it. I went to a show on Thursday night and had planned 3 drinks - that’s enough. I went with a friend who is a booze monster and ended up having 4 (she had 5, so I told myself that I was moderating!). I woke up the next day feeling a bit crappy. I know that 3 is ok and 4 is too much do why did I do it???? I had had a crappy stressful day so decided to just have what I wanted. It’s stupid though. Like you I used to be able to drink a bottle and be fine but now I can’t really do that - I think it’s age!

Thanks for the message @Bigbus its a comfort to know I’m not alone!!! Yes perhaps are is a factor. How old are you if you don’t mind me asking? I’m 40. Xx

I’m 47. I have so many reasons to drink less and I have been moderating much better recently. However I still have those nights when I wake up anxious and heart racing occasionally and I think I’m going to die! I once had one when we were on holiday in the middle of nowhere and I remember sitting outside on the patio at 2am wondering when you knew if you needed an ambulance. You’d think these experiences would be enough to make me stop! I must say though that with this thread and the drink aware app I rarely have a stupid amount. In the last I used to drink so much I didn’t remember getting home and I’d wake up feeling awful, being sick and dreading looking at my phone. So things are better but I still can’t kick the habit of drinking a bit more than I should 3-4 nights a week.

I'm off to see a newish friend tonight for dinner at her house and staying over. I'm going to have one drink and hour and put a timer on my fitness watch to make sure I stick to it. Will check on tomorrow to let you know if it worked.

Hey everyone. Yep, you know you’re getting old when you get the beer fear / Hangxiety when you haven’t even messaged your ex/ boss/ landlord, lost your bag/ phone/ dignity or been carried home. I think it’s maybe because you don’t process what’s gone on in the day and your plans for the next day so you wake up feeling unprepared or something. I find with the dc, my mental load is so high that I feel constantly alert to a major admin fail.

I had a can of rosé Thursday night ( felt demob happy as Friday is my running rest day) and a glass of champagne yesterday lunchtime ( out for lunch with a friend) . My big win was not having any more last night as normally I’d be like “ well I’ve drunk today so may as well really go for it now”. Got into bed at 8:45 and watched masterchef on catch up.

still sleeping like crap. Had weird dream that I’d bought a beach buggy style car but I didn’t have a parking space for it so I was trying to hide it from DH as I knew he’d go mad.

Got family dinner tonight. Watch this space. I’ve said 3 drinks.

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine thats a good idea. I also use pour smaller glasses too which works for me (sometimes!).

@Trolleytoken thank goodness I haven’t done any of those things for a while now! Although a novel arrived the other day that I had apparently pre-ordered and I don’t remember doing so! That’s really interesting about being unprepared. I also read that it could be that you wake up when you sober up so less alcohol means waking up in the middle of the night.

I'm going for three today. Had two last night and been out and about in the sunshine. On my last now and determined not to carry on when I get home.

Have discovered Fever Tree Ginger Beer which is lovely and spicy. Have two bottles of that at home.

@Trolleytoken yes,your theory on feeling unprepared mentally makes sense. I also wonder if it’s an automatic thing for me now after younger years of taking it too far and doing silly/awful things and waking in a blind panic. Luckily I never get that drunk anymore but that feeling still occurs!!!

anyway. I spoke to hubby today and said whilst we have a lovely time etc I can’t drink more than 2 glasses. It’s not his responsibility to make sure I moderate but I thought it was important to have that convo and be clear in my goal!

@Bigbus I’ve suffered similar mental anguish, up all night pacing (when I use to do big benders) completely freaking out and yes I still don’t fully learn either. Although like you I never go that far anymore thank god!

had a full on day enjoy the bday celebrations…. 3 glasses of fizz over 6 hours… happy with that. It was open bar but I just wanted to be sensible. Went home with a friend who offered me a g and t but I was done so had a tea!

how’s everyone else doing!? Hope you managed to keep your resolve @Liverpool52 and you @Trolleytoken and @YoghurtPotWashingMachine sounds like you all had good strategies in place xxxx

@Mj20 yes I did. Got home and has cheese, biscuits and ginger beer (instead of wine). 🤣 Tucked up in bed now ready to read a great new book (I would usually have drunk so much I'd just pass out). Looking forward to another hangover free day getting stuff done.

I hope everyone else is doing ok. X

Hi all. I’ve been struggling with cravings the last few days. I realized that I still had this feeling that I was somehow missing out on something by not drinking. It’s the buzz, the ability to numb out, to have a. Break from the noise in my head etc.

I just had a message from a neighbor that she will be here on holiday soon for a few weeks, this is the one that last time we saw each other we drank 3 bottles plus of wine, I was terribly hungover the next day and couldn’t move out of bed. She’s an everyday drinker and it’s gonna be so hard to pull this off sober.

Morning all!
so much better waking up today than it was yesterday after my hangxiety in the night!!!

well done @Liverpool52 sounds like a very successful night your end!

and hi @Touty good to hear from you! I remember reading somewhere you’re a few months sober now??? I remember when I did a few months these feelings often cropped up. I guess it’s part of the process. Hopefully sharing them and pulling them apart a bit helps!
As for the neighbour this is tough…. I have a distance friend whose a very heavy drinker and socialising with her sober is horrendous tbh, because she try’s to encourage me etc etc but the last time I saw her I lied and said I was on antibiotics and it worked a treat. Could this work for you? Not that we should have to lie but we do need to be kind to ourselves and make things easy where we can xxx

@Mj20 @Touty I'm on tablets is a good out, and once you've said it you're kind of safe because you can't take it back!

I'm a bit hangover today but the kind where you are just a bit tired. I stuck to one drink an hour and didn't get very drunk or black out. I'm taking it as a win anyway.

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine definitely a win sticking to your plan.

Well done @YoghurtPotWashingMachine xx

Morning all! Saturday evening I had a friend come for dinner. Hadn't seen each other in ages. Years. We got through 2 and 1/2 bottles of wine in 7 hours.... Hadn't been to bed that late in ages. Definitively had too much to drink, even if I did also drink a lot of water. Had to cancel sport yesterday as just wasn't up to it. Fasted on water, tea and some bread all day yesterday and went to bed really early. Feel fit as a fiddle today. Have attacked housework and dusting, quick pause to send you a message, then off to sport. Might have a nap this afternoon. Pack and off tomorrow morning early to blighty for 4 days.

So fell off the wagon with a big crash but have climbed back on with dignity. I suppose that's just life. Also so happy to have been able to catch up with my friend.
Chucking in down here.
Wishing you all a good week, sending you strong vibes. SSS

Good job @Nowstrong. Hope the sport was good. I stuck to my three drink pledge on Saturday ( in fact only had two as no one other than me and DH really drinking- MIL doesn’t drink, BIL on a health kick and SIL driving), had a can of wine last night and then today has been a bit wayward- had 2 cans for no real reason. Going to try to do 3 dry days T-T now. I find the cans of wine quite good for monitoring purposes but it’s an expensive way to buy it!

last week’s total was 1.5 bottles over 4 days, so I can live with that.

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine yes I think I’m going to have to use tablets as an excuse, I did plan on telling her about my drink issues and my rock bottom event in new year but I don’t really feel like getting in to it.