On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat *2024*

[Swannyb]

@amdone123 @mj20 @touty @Hohofortherobbers @Coppergate7 @bigbus @colouringindoors @wellitywellness @Atacamadesert @Freezingfeetwarmheart @WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast @Hohofortherobbers @mickandrorty @Mykittensmittens @afaloren @NoTeaNoShade @CrackersCheeseNoWinePlease @LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

@Mj20 I think in recent years, I've viewed holidays a lot differently. For example, I would always drink on the plane, but on my recent holidays, I chose not to and bought bottles of sparkling water etc.
Holidays were really non stop drinking but as I've matured ( 🤣), I don't want to miss out because I'm hungover.
So, my main focus is walking ( a lot), exploring, relaxing and reading etc.
I'll not drink too early in the day. 2pm ish is fine because I go to bed early on holiday, about 9pm and I'll need to stock up on sparkling water so I'm hydrated.
A plan makes me think about what outcome I want really rather than going mad because I'm on my hols.

@Amdone123 that sounds very measured and sensible! It’s that perspective shift! Good on you! Any suggestions or thoughts on me abstaining or having a couple this weekend!? Xx

Morning all! I'm back! Fantastic time away and was soooo good. Never had more than 1 beer a day. No nibbling. Slight weight loss. All good.
Now I'm back I've got to keep up the good habits. I'm back to the swimming pool, have booked myself into aqua gym lessons. Just got to keep the WWWs at bay.

Last night I had my daughter and her partner for dinner and a good catch-up, and we had wine. Too much wine (for me). Not feeling so good about that this morning. So I'm determined to kick that habit. I'm invited to theirs' tonight so will bring my own AF beer and a bottle of sparkling water. Can but only try.
Yesterday I also nibbled on some cheese. Feel like I'm confessing my sins here.

Right. So today I'm putting yesterday's mishaps behind me and putting my best foot forward, going to keep myself really busy.

I haven't been able to read all that I've missed on the thread since mid March but will try to read some to keep myself focused.

Sending all my best tanned and relaxed positive vibes to all. Kicking the WWWs to the curb, even into the gutter where they belong. SSS!!!!

@Mj20 you should just carry on as you've been doing - you're doing great. It's hard when it's the weekend - I wish we could treat it like a week day. Maybe you could pretend it's Tuesday!
@Nowstrong your sins are forgiven 🙏
You did brilliantly while away, sounds fantastic. I wouldn't worry too much about last night. I know it's not what you wanted, but you were home safe n sound after a great adventure, so I can understand why the wine was flowing.

Ah, hi everyone 🙃 so broke the 20odd day drinking and as a result am now awake with a hammering heart and sweaty palms. Honestly when will I learn. Went to the pub with hubby for one drink. Came home drank my half bottle of wine. Then opened bottle of Prosecco which I shared with hubby! So not loads…. But too much for me! So now I’m awake middle of the night, anxiety filled and racked with guilt. I spent the evening glued to my phone messaging friends with rubbish. No harm done but this is the exact thing I hate. And it seems to be happening with less and less booze. Sympathetic thoughts welcome. Hope to get back to sleep and then wake less anxious.

@Mj20 awh, hope you managed to get some sleep. It's the 64 million dollar question as to why we do it. I wish I knew the answer.
Try to put it behind you now. You didn't kill anyone, you just got a bit carried away.
Rest today, eat something nice, lots of water and self care if you've time for yourself.
And maybe make a plan, set a new target of 25 days - you can do it ❤️

Morning @Amdone123 thank you for your kind message. I appreciate it. Luckily I fell back to sleep after about half an hour. I don’t feel too bad this morning, hungover but not too anxious. It’s amazing how only a small ish amount of alcohol does to me! I now plan on being sober till may the 4th! I have a friends party, am driving out will allow myself one glass of fizz! I have another birthday party the week after that but again I’ll either have one or not drink. Really Diddnt enjoy the middle of the night anxiety so just have to accept I can’t just freely enjoy drink!

your advice is lovely @Amdone123 I’m going to have a long bath later and enjoy relaxing xxxx

Morning, how is everyone doing?
Me - terribly! After a great January and February and an OK March I seem to have replaced Abstinent April with sodding Alcoholic April.

So - I am considering quitting whiskey. Not quitting drinking - just quitting whiskey! I crave that feeling of warmth radiating, like a hug from the inside - much more than the drink itself. And a lot of the time I struggle to resist! As yet I haven't been able to do it though.

@Freezingfeetwarmheart that's it really. It's not the actual drink we're craving, it's that warm feeling or in cases of addiction, that hit.
This is why I only like wine.
What will you drink instead ?

I'll be switching to gin! It will be easier if the weather gets warmer (damn our freezing old poorly insulated 1930's house).

I got trashed on Friday night. Had a friend visiting (totally platonic, he's gay, I'm female). Spilled wine all over myself back at the house. Put a dressing gown on which kept falling open. I must have looked so pathetic. Managed to go for a walk the next day but had headache and felt ashamed. Day one again.

Be kind to yourself @YoghurtPotWashingMachine we’ve all been there in some form. I’m day 2 after over doing it Friday. It’s a working progress xx

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine hope you're feeling OK. @Mj20 said, we've all been there.
I find as painful as it is, to try and learn from it. So, next time, what could you do differently ? The obvious answer is not to drink too much, but what time did you start, could you dilute it next time, did you eat enough?
I hope that doesn't sound patronising.

I'm on holiday and yesterday I drank. A lot. No more today as I also got really upset ( 🐶). I know it's expected and I'm entitled to be upset, but the wine didn't help.
Anyway, today is a healthy day. As soon as its light, I'm walking for miles. Healthy breakfast and lots of sparkling water.

Just to update I have halved the drinking. I am mentaly not in a great place right now, it has all hit me recently how my drinking has affected my life and I am just so frustrated and ashamed and sad but I am outwardly holding it together and not self medicating. Not as much anyway.

@Amdone123 I'm so sorry to hear about your wee dog. Hope you enjoy your walk today x

@Needtokickthehabit Well done. Halving the booze is amazing progress.

@Needtokickthehabit well done, that's brilliant.

Hey- room for one more? Could do with some accountability in trying to cut down from currently drinking about 3ish bottles of wine a week (spread pretty evenly). Am aiming for moderation overall and strictly no drinking at home (which is 95% of it tbh). Had an alcohol free Heineken tonight that I found lurking in the fridge, thought it was disgusting and then realised it went out of date in 2022 so that indicates when I last made a real effort to cut down .

Reasons: weight creeping up, especially round my middle (combination of wine calories but also more mindless snacking), sleep quality not great, evening productivity is low to zero and I honestly don't have that time to waste, not getting the most out of the training I do (running and weights).

I reckon if I can break the 6pm glass of wine while making dinner habit I'm 90% there because I find if I wait till 8pm I'm over the urge.

Anyway, Day 1 down.

@Trolleytoken always room for one more ! Hi and welcome.
Great that you have a list of reasons - good for you. Keep reading that list - I find it helps me to read mine every other day really.
Also, yes, regarding times. I rarely have a drink after 6pm - it goes 'off' me.
What could you drink instead while making dinner ?
I struggled with that at first as I loved drinking wine and cooking, but now it really doesn't bother me. It was just a habit.

I had one 400ml beer last night, then went for a walk. Fruit tea when I got back. That's an absolute win for me. Hope everyone has a good day.

Hello All

I have been reading everything and keeping up. I have been doing ok - keeping tabs on my units does help but sometimes I feel a bit hard done by. On Friday night I was helping some friends run a bar at a charity event. They are both old drinking buddies of mine and we usually drink as we sell. I had a few drinks - exactly as many as I had planned - and was pleased about that. But they merrily got drunk and honestly I missed it! I think it's ok to be honest about that. I felt pleased the next morning but I missed the feeling of being a bit drunk - I am generally quite a happy drunk (until I'm not!). Anyway, it's for me to navigate a way to find a balance. I've started listening to the Naked Mind book so that will help I'm sure.

@Bigbus I'll listening to this podcast at the moment, just finished episode one which features Prog David Nutt and it's pretty good.

https://www.thebeliefscoach.com/big-drink-rethink

Day 2.

@Amdone123 that's good advice. The issue is that I hate cooking- I find it boring and tiresome, especially in the evening when I'm out of fucks to give about anything, and therefore I feel like I "deserve a treat" for doing it. Today I prepped it earlier in the day when I had more energy and then I just had to throw it together tonight.

Also, was so productive this evening sans booze (ignoring the fact I'm now on MN). Just little things like chased up about 10 "bottom of the to do list" things on email/whatsapp, planted out some lavender and bedding plants that arrived yesterday, put a load of cardboard and paint cans in the car to take to the tip etc.- all those little jobs that never get done.

@Trolleytoken oh I see what you mean, regarding the cooking. I love cooking - guess you can't win ! But that's a great solution to prepare it earlier - love my slow cooker for that.
Great that you've been more productive too.
Keep going ❤️

@YoghurtPotWashingMachine I listened to the podcast last night instead of doom scrolling- problem was her voice was so calming I fell asleep!

@Amdone123 I like it on my own terms, like if its a rainy Sunday afternoon I love making a roast and reading a book between stages, but I just find early evenings stressful- my DC (teens) have a long school day, they generally come home arguing and also then moan about whatever it is I'm cooking and I have to throw it together while blocking them from the snack cupboard "because I'm so starving, I'm gonna diiiiiiiiieeeeee" and badgering them to do music practice or whatever. But.... drum roll..... 4 nights and all good.

Am going out tomorrow night but going to drive.