On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat *2024*

[Swannyb]

@amdone123 @mj20 @touty @Hohofortherobbers @Coppergate7 @bigbus @colouringindoors @wellitywellness @Atacamadesert @Freezingfeetwarmheart @WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast @Hohofortherobbers @mickandrorty @Mykittensmittens @afaloren @NoTeaNoShade @CrackersCheeseNoWinePlease @LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

Hey @Mj20 great to hear from you. Yes I’m 4 months sober now. I think I’m going to tell the friend that I’m on antibiotics and so cannot drink, it’s much easier than the hassle of trying to explain the truth!

Hello everyone. I know this thread is nearly full up but I would like to join please.
51, otherwise healthy and fit. Have found it impossible to lay off red wine. It has become habitual, worryingly habitual, and I need to stop. There is none left in the house and I am going to stop and not buy any more. Doing this for my gorgeous 9 year old boy who needs his mother to be healthy and around in his twenties. Plan: Stop drinking at home.

Hi @Bohemond23. Sounds like you are a similar drinker to me. My problem is the red wine and I drink it at home. So now I don't buy it. I have a five year old boy and that's my motivation.

I have tried to moderate a thousand times. This time I am not being too all or nothing, just trying to reduce as much as possible and see the positives of it. Last night I had one medium bottle of beer and was angry at myself because I was going to have nothing. Then I thought, last month I was drinking a bottle of wine or more per night. I would like to get to the point where I take it or leave it but for now I'm grateful for the small wins.

@Touty Four months is amazing, wow. I would love to have four months under my belt.

Sounds exactly the same as me. I am lucky insofar as I don't love any other alcohol (apart from Sherry) so I am unlikely to start on anything else. I am hoping that stopping the red wine will kick the habit - which has been fed over many years.

One day AF - well done me. Feeling rubbish this morning though. Woke up at 5am. Suspect I am dehydrated from not drinking enough (water) after boxing class. Also very low carbs yesterday which is not good for sleeping. Onwards!

Just joining this thread for a bit of support. Not sure if I want to give up totally or just cut back the drinking at home. I don't seem to be able to open a bottle of wine without finishing it these days. I used to do this once a week, but now it's creeping up to twice, and on a bad week three times. It's completely stress related. I have a teen with ADHD and am in perimenopause and I'm not coping well. I have to do something about this before it gets completely out of hand and my health gets affected.

You sound similar to me. It's always the red wine, isn't it? I don't have any in the house but end up buying some on my way home from work on certain days. I have to stop doing this! I'm a bit of a wine snob too, so as well as being bad for me it's also wasting money that I could spend on other things.

Morning, folks.
Haven't been on here for a while as I've been on a couple of holidays. Been reading from oldies and welcome newbies.
@LaDamaDeElche it's such a slippery slope. One minute, 1 bottle a week is ok then before we know it, it's 3 or 4. I used to be like that - I just found comfort in it when faced with life stresses, too. The good news is you can get back to 1 bottle a week - you just need a plan. And you'll feel do much better without it.
I started off by writing a list of all the benefits, from better sleep, clearer skin to more money / energy. It's quite a long list !
Then I had to work on simply not buying it. This was difficult but got easier - nowadays I don't take my purse to work or when out for a walk. This is not practical for everyone but works for me.
You could have a plan for this week, share it here and we'll help you along the way ?
@Liverpool52 I love tesco ginger beer, it has a kick but I'll try that fever tree as it's probably better quality. Thanks.

Obviously, not doing great here, but holidays, summer, tennis all tricky for me. Plus a few big birthdays in the family. But, overall, I'm trying. Holiday I didn't drink everyday, I didn't drink on the plane either - a few small wins.
Day 3 today and I think I'll be af til Sunday as I'm not well anyway and the last thing I need is a sleepless night.

Please can I come back?
Bohemond23 I've just done Day 1 too. Not sure if I want to totally abstain or just not drink again tonight.
I drink a bottle of wine every night tbh so was expecting to be super grouchy but actually had a really productive evening and fabulous nights sleep. My fit bit was smiling at me this morning !
I think this evening might be harder but we have a meditation thing booked so hopefully that will help .
Lots and lots and lots of water with ice and fresh lemon helped me, along with copious amounts of tea all day .
We can do this
Thinking of all the positives
Thinking of feeling so much better in my skin on holiday this year .... gotta be better than current wine belly state .

@mumzof4x course you can and welcome back.
I think of all the benefits people on here celebrate are the 2 you mentioned - more productive days and better sleep.
Also, losing weight - when I don't drink it comes off relatively easily, considering my age (57 this year).
You can do it !
One day at a time is the best way I think. It becomes daunting when we think of it long term. Does for me, anyway.
What's the obstacle for this evening and any thoughts on how you can get another af day to your credit ?

@Amdone123 Thanks for asking if I had a plan, that's just the kind of practical support I need. I won't buy any tonight, as am not a daily drinker. The slip will probably come on Thursday or Friday. So, my plan for Thursday - I have three routes home from work; walking, bus C or bus A. Walking takes me past two supermarkets and bus A takes me to a supermarket with many fantastic red wines, so I'm going to catch bus C which takes me to 2 mins walking distance from my house and no tempting shops to walk past. Friday is a bit trickier as we do the food shop. I don't want to drink on Friday as I'm going for lunch with my parents on Saturday, where I'll share a bottle of wine with my mum, and also I want to go to the gym in the morning. I think I'm going to get a nice non alcoholic drink instead, as it is Friday night and it's nice to drink something other than water.

So that's my plan for the next few days and will give me three clear alcohol free days so I can enjoy my lunch guilt free on Saturday. It won't turn into a session with my parents, as they're not big drinkers and won't be out for hours as they have to get back for the dogs.

I'm loving the bus routes !
Exactly the kind of thing I do. It's all habit, after all. Reminds me of a friend who successfully gave up smoking by not drinking coffee as much ( when she was most likely to smoke).
I would find a Friday food shop difficult too. My only advice for that is to blatantly ignore that aisle and run past it 🤣
Also, play it forward. Think how much better you'll feel on Saturday by not drinking Friday.
You can do it.

@Amdone123 The mornings after not drinking always feel good. You're grateful that you resisted temptation ❤️

@Amdone123 thank you !
And ditto thanks for asking what my obstacle is this evening.
I'm not sure really but likely won't be feeling so positive when prepping dinner which seems to be my trigger.
To be fair we have enough left over from last night so might stay out of the kitchen !
Walk / rest / lots of water and ficus on better skin, focus, relationships, health, happiness and all the positives for now .
Will read the thread and hopefullly feel the vibes this amazing thread sends out !
Thank you

@mumzof4x no worries and yes, prepping / cooking was always a massive trigger for me. I now set out a litre bottle of sparkling water with lemon slices, as I really enjoy that. It does work and of course, the more you do it, the easier it gets.

Good morning everyone and welcome. I keep up reading everyone’s posts. I have three evenings in a row of social activities that involve drinking so I need a plan. The biggest thing is fear of the hangover and also husband is away Saturday evening so even though the kids are old enough to look after themselves (all teenagers) I still need to be the responsible adult. Tonight I am helping with refreshments so I will keep busy and try to stick to 2 drinks. Tomorrow I’ve just found out at least have the ladies are driving (even though it’s only a 15 minute walk - maybe that’s their strategy!) so it sounds like this will be less boozy than normal. Here’s the thing though - half of me feels disappointed that they are driving and wants to persuade them out of it! How crazy is that. Luckily the logical and kind part of my brain has prevented me from trying to pressurise my friends into drinking!

Well on the plus side it's day 3 AF but in the minus side I was up all night peeing after drinking 2 litres of iced water yesterday !!!
Good morning x
Hope everyone has some sunshine today .

@mumzof4x well done on Day 3.
@LaDamaDeElche how are you doing?
@Bigbus that made me laugh - sometimes we feel like we just can't win. You can stick to 2 drinks this evening, you'll feel great in the morning.

I last drank Sunday and Monday I spent the day in Barcelona and had 1 beer !
So, day 4 but I'm feeling dreadful, full of a cold. The thought of drinking and giving myself a sleepless night and headache is so far from my mind.
I'm rarely ill and really shouldn't take my health for granted 😪

Good job on day 3 🙏 Definitely going to have sunshine today, but I'm cheating because I live in Spain haha. Wishing you guys a sunny day in the U.K. too!

@Amdone123 All good here. Still planning my route with the least temptation home later. I never really think about drinking during the day. I'm a language teacher, so it usually starts crossing my mind in my last class around 7:15pm. Hope you feel better soon x

Good evening, folks, how are we all doing this Friday evening ?
I've been off work ( ill, still). It's a beautiful day and I was severely tempted to get in the garden with some wine, but on balance, realised it was a bad idea. I didn't have the energy anyway.
It's weird though how I know deep down that I want to get better, yet the craving is still there.
Day 6 tomorrow but Big Family Party on Sunday.

@Amdone123 it really is harder when the sun's shining isn't it. We've cooked on the bbq and now relaxing for the evening. Well done for resisting temptation.

I ended up getting some wine last night. So pissed off with myself. Feeling groggy and shit this morning and have my lunch with my parents today. Didn't make it to the gym. Such an idiot. Next week I'm determined to get through the whole week without wine.

@LaDamaDeElche don't beat yourself up. It's done now - we live and learn.
Also, work today on saying only positives to yourself ( like you would a friend) - you're trying to do something about it, you're on here - It's a brave step to address this issue.
Eat healthily, lots of water / soft drinks and an early night ( if you want ! ).
Today is a new day.

I'm on day 6 ( only because I've been ill. I probably mentioned that 🤣) and I know it's not a good idea to drink ( partay tomorrow), but craving is quite strong.
I'll do my best.