Tulips, snowdrops and another Day 1!

[MamaGhina]

New thread as promised. I’ll pop on later to tag everyone as I wanted to get this link on the old thread before it fills up!

Link to the old one for any new joiners:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4877066-its-day-1-anyone-else?page=40

Welcome newcomers, hello old friends. This thread has been wonderful. Fingers crossed for yiur tests @MamaGhina

Not a great week. AF Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

Met a colleague on Thursday, in the pub, and had two small glasses of red with dinner.

DS and DIL are with us for the weekend, told me they were coming yesterday morning! I think they just want a bit of family and looking after. They are in the throes of moving to Yorkshire as DS has secured an academic, permanent lecturing role which is fab as they are like hen's teeth in his discipline.

So I had a glass of red whilst cooking, there will be wine open tonight and probably with Sunday lunch tomorrow. OTH with the news above and also, if I may have a braggy moment, dd had a formal lesson observation yesterday and was told in feedback she had delivered the best lesson her observer had ever seen and was a truly inspirational teacher. I am so chuffed for her. She's 5.3, 25, teeny tiny, and this was a Y10 lesson stuffed with genuinely difficult boys with issues

My intention is to be AF monday/Tuesday next week and then it's Lent. Lent will be my excuse and I'll be glad if I can manage 42 days AF. I've barely managed 7 since Chrkstmas but I have moderated and have not exceeded about 6-10 units in any week. I suppose that's what normal people do. Wine definitely feeds the carb and sugar craving though.

Hello everyone! Sorry - I meant to do a Friday night check in but I was busy doing ‘stuff’. It’s great how I seem to be finally getting my energy levels up and doing jobs. It’s taken a long while for my sleep to get back to normal. Been blitzing the house today. It was in dire need! Day 160 today! Counting down the days to the 6 month mark now!

Well done @Pinotgrigioblues, those first 7 days are hard. Especially after a long time without a break. According to the quit lit I’ve read the physical cravings should have stopped by now… I find that hard to believe, that it’s purely psychological from here on in.

I got through the danger hour. DH had said he would be more supportive but he added my wine to the shop (I had to take it off). Then he asks me to the pub today to watch the rugby. Unsurprisingly I didn’t fancy it so he went with mates, which is fine but does leave me feeling a bit meh. Especially when he comes home merry and then cracks open wine.

@Bluegirl19 I am really sorry to hear your update. Please don’t feel isolated, we are here. You can be honest and angry and let those feelings out. I know it’s all too easy to fall back into those old habits. I think most of us on here do. Do you feel ready to try again? I know all pieces of the puzzle have to be in place first, otherwise it’s more failure and self loathing.

@SpringNotSprung lent sounds like a good excuse now dry Jan has gone. I absolutely have cut down since joining this thread. I can think of many occasions where I previously would have got stupid drunk but didn’t drink at all, so progress is definitely being made…. Me and moderation just doesn’t work well together, I’m better off dry. It’s just reminding myself of that!

Thanks for the good wishes. I need to call next week for the test results. The fact no one has called me yet telling me to go back is a good sign. I’m sure all will be ok, it’s just the worry, isn’t it?

@BoilingHotand50something day 160 is simply awesome. Huge congrats. I can’t imagine how life changing that must be. I have everything crossed some more of us on this thread will be joining you this year 🤞

Morning all, it’s Monday and I’m on day 9. I feel really good for not drinking anything at the weekend. I love Mondays, so much hope for the new week ahead!

Yesterday I had my day to myself. I’ve carved out one day a month where I can do anything I want. It’s my New Year’s resolution. I went for a walk and had some lunch and then did some shopping. It was bliss.

Looking forward to a week without alcohol. It’s half term so I’ve got the kids at home. I need a clear head! Hope everyone has a good week.

AF since Friday, the fog is starting to clear. I realise I need to do something for myself not just work. This lifestyle will kill me. Just need to be accountable by typing something every day. Thanks @MamaGhina for kind words

@Bluegirl19 I found myself in this place where everything I did was for someone else. At home and at work. I felt like people were constantly asking me for things, I was doing my best to do them and then they were whinging. Nothing was ever enough. I never got through my list of things to do. It’s a bleak place.

Now I’m just making sure I have that one day a month. For me. It doesn’t sound like much but I plan it and I look forward to it. It is making a difference. Partly because it is me saying to everyone else I need this break and I’m taking it. It’s headspace and it has helped me to slowly make other changes. I work through things in my head. Sometimes I write notes. Sometimes I think about what I’ll do the following month.

I booked myself a little break away with some of the money I’ve saved. I’m going alone and I can’t wait.

Oh and please do type every day! I’m back to posting regularly. I stopped because I was drinking and I felt guilty and I didnt want to derail anyone doing well. Also I saw some people saying that coming back to the thread was making them think about alcohol all the time and I was worried I was obsessing a bit about it.

The truth is I still need accountability. I still need to jot down my thoughts. I want to stop drinking. I can’t say for how long but I feel so much better when I’m dry. Physically and mentally. My relationships are stronger. My performance at work is more confident. My sleep is sound and my body feels at peace.

I got to six days and then caved. Drank two large glasses of wine on Saturday, then bought a bottle on the way home. I only drank one glass out of it, and then tipped the rest down the sink on Sunday morning. I drank two large glasses at Sunday lunch and then bought wine on the way home. I drank the whole bottle alone and then had a dreadful sleepless night with stomach pains. Lesson learned. I think I needed a week of good sleep and then a blip to show me that returning to my old ways will make me feel horrendous.

If nothing else, then at least I’ll have drunk only two days out of the last eight. That’s far better than compulsively every night. It’s still progress. I really want sobriety, and to sleep better! Any words of wisdom much appreciated

really do take the 6 out of 8 as a win @Pinotgrigioblues. might not be the win you were originally aiming for but it is a win! Does playing the tape forward help for you? So, before you drink, thinking about exactly just how crappy you are going to feel physically and mentally the next day and using that as a deterrent?

I wonder if for you finding something else distracting might be helpful. I have spent a lot of time in watching reels / TikTok’s which is a bad habit in itself but a lot of them were people in recovery to begin with which I found really helpful. I’m now on to lots of other inspiring things instead!

@MamaGhina don't self edit! Even if people don’t come back for a while because the thread gets a tiny bit triggering, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t post what you need to post. I don’t think of this as one of those threads where you are asked not to talk about times when you do drink. It’s supportive of everyone however they're managing. If it’s triggering you then fair enough I guess. Sometimes I find that to be true and then sometimes I need to refocus on it because I can feel the wine witch waking up a bit and I start minimising etc.

@Pinotgrigioblues I try so hard to remind myself of the reasons I want to be dry but sometimes the cravings get too strong. It’s taken me so long to stop the negative self talk. Beating myself up every time I fail. I now think about all the good choices I make. It doesn’t stop me being aware of the failures but I don’t dwell on them. After all, I’m still here trying my best.

Thanks @TimesaChangeling. I agree about celebrating the successes as well as sharing the pain when things aren’t going so well. It’s definitely not one of the threads where you need to leave if you drink… otherwise I think there would be very few of us left!!!

Well done all on being mostly dry. Good to hear you sounding so positive @MamaGhina - and love your one day a month! Blissful! The confidence at work thing is noticeable for me and a big plus side of being AF. I feel invincible some days in a slightly annoying way! lol

Shrove Tuesday today people. Who is giving up alcohol for Ash Wednesday?

I remember as a child school encouraging us to give something up. I chose crisps. I vividly remember my mum ridiculing me, laughing that I would never do it. She was right, of course. I had zero will power and the craving was too strong. I wasn’t an over weight child but my diet was awful. I hated the texture of some foods and I’d rather starve (or be punished) than eat them.

So I won’t be making any grand statements or loud announcements about what I’ll be giving up. I will be quietly thinking about how lovely it would be to have the whole of lent alcohol free and I’ll be here still chipping away.

Hiya @MamaGhina

I’m with you on giving up booze for Ash Wednesday (despite being a lapsed catholic). It’s my day one again…I spent last night doing myself a fabulous set of false nails to occupy my thoughts. I’m only just learning though, so it took until 2am. Still, I’m grateful that I got a great AF sleep and woke up feeling much better about myself in general.

Re food textures; that sounds like a sensory issue. I’ve never had food texture issues or been a fussy eater, but I’m really affected by smells. My pet hate is mouldy smelling towels or clothes. Sends me potty! Also scratchy labels or seams in clothes. At home, I wear my PJs inside-out as they’re more comfortable. I’m aware this is V neurodiverse stuff, and I am diagnosed ADHD. The more I learn about ADHD, the more I understand about my need to block the world out with booze.

@MamaGhina I am trying to give up alcohol for Lent. If I get to the very end, I'll manage 42 days. No lapsesnplanned for Refreshment Sunday, aka mother's day!

Day 5 and feeling much better. I downloaded an app called reveri that helps with self hypnosis , going to use it for cravings when they start!
Afraid to get complacent as I know where that will lead. Lent will be for me and not about sacrifices, I have spent too long sacrificing myself...Time to change.
Wishing everyone well on the sentence journey

Happy Valentines Day all.

This was the day 2 years running that I broke my dry Jan streak so I’ve decided not to go out tonight. Sometimes avoiding temptation is the right way to go!

I hope those on half term are surviving with this crappy weather. I’m taking mine to a trampoline park today. An hour of bouncing plus some lunch out should kill the majority of the day. If not I will take them out for a cycle rain or not! I am enjoying the lazy mornings though, I think we all are.

@Pinotgrigioblues I’ve had my suspicious that I may have some undiagnosed neurodiversity. I was hit so much as a child for “misbehaving” but there were times when in all honesty I couldn’t stop myself. I knew there would be a punishment but I couldn’t control the urge to do something.
It’s not something I’ve sought to explore much in adulthood but I was watching the Matt Willis documentary about his addiction struggles and I couldn’t help but think his ADHD diagnosis was an important factor.
The general consensus on MN seemed to be that he was a ‘typical’ addict. Self absorbed etc but I found it so relatable. It’s worth a watch if you have a couple of hours.

@smegley I’ve been thinking about you this week. You haven’t updated in a little while. How are you?

@MamaGhina Ooh, thanks. Will defo check out the Matt Willis doc

Morning, I'm back on day 1 again did dry January then had a drink last weekend and again this week. Back up to a bottle a night again and I dont enjoy it so back to being AF. I like the idea of giving up.for Lent so I will start there. Would love to get to a year.

Happy Valentines everyone and hopefully Lent means we are doing something for ourselves by giving up alcohol. The hypnosis app I downloaded is really helping. It just takes a few mins at night. Trying to focus on eating really healthily, I know a lot of my drinking on the way home from work was brought on by tiredness and hunger.
Good luck everyone

Friday I’ve started to dread them. I spent a few hours last night toying with the idea of drinking. I got myself out to an exercise class instead. Tonight I need some sort of distraction. It’s between 7 and 8.30 that I struggle the most.

I know if I can get this weekend under my belt I will feel so much more confident going forwards. It’s just so hard when the pull is so strong.

Today is day 13. I got my test results back and they are all normal, which was a huge relief. I desperately want to have a good month break from alcohol. I can see the difference in my face even after 13 days. I’m sleeping well. My stomach is less bloated.

So why do I still want to drink tonight? The answer is I don’t. I don’t!!! I’ve just got to push through the craving.

Pleased to hear the bloods were OK @MamaGhina I'm sure the decrease in overall intake over the last few months had an impact.

It's interesting that different livers respond differently in different people. I had drunk about half a bottle a day for 20 years and last summer my ALT and GGT were elevated. Thankfully not hugely and the ultrasound and fibroscan just indicated a very mildly fatty liver which the hepatologist put down to NAFLD because I was two stone overweight.

Massive wake up call.

Currently on day 5 which matches my wordle winning streak.

When I get an urge I find a Clean rhubarb gin with slimline tonic and some frozen berries deals with the urge. It's the ritual of a nice drink in a nice glass for me. Gently sipped while cooking dinner.

Beautiful day today. The daffs have opened in the garden - well the early tete a tetes! Also the camellias, crucial, winter jasmin, polys, snowdrops and blossoms are out 😀