Tulips, snowdrops and another Day 1!

[MamaGhina]

New thread as promised. I’ll pop on later to tag everyone as I wanted to get this link on the old thread before it fills up!

Link to the old one for any new joiners:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/4877066-its-day-1-anyone-else?page=40

Well done @Haggisfish3

hope everyone else is ok.

Test results received. I do have Pagets disease of the bone. Not a deal breaker, not terminal but means I'm not invincible. I have degenerative spine, hips, knees and ankles too - I think that means arthritis. I do not have pain except for the odd twinge.

Processing it. Oh fuck! Not alcohol related but a liver function result flagged it.

Ooof@SpringNotSprung that must be tough news to get. Sorry to hear it.

Sorry to hear that @SpringNotSprung . I hope you’ve got some support around as you process.

Sorry to hear that @SpringNotSprung . You sound like you need a rest.

And I thought of you tonight when I was gagging for a 0% ipa and dogged four cans! £5.50 but saved me drinking the real stuff.

@SpringNotSprung ah shit that’s rubbish news. I hope you have some good support, too.

@yocal

I'm alright. There's no cure but it won't kill me. Just shittier bones on top of the osteoporosis! Plenty of support and plenty of blessings. I'm bloody lucky with my life.

That’s good. My first sober Friday night for months and months. It’s a challenge but I’m doing ok. Have eaten half a massive cake instead…🤣

@Haggisfish3 I hope it was delish!

@SpringNotSprung sorry to hear this. Hope there is some treatment that will help.

Well done @Haggisfish3 - major milestone!

I had a bit of a test this evening but resisted and therefore just ticked off Day 89 on TryDry. Current plan is get to 100+ days but then have a glass on Christmas Eve and a couple of drinks on Christmas Day. Don’t know if I am brave enough to risk it, and if I do, not sure if I am strong enough to stop again. But I think I need to try as I would like to be able to have a glass to mark an occasion.

Hi everyone

I'm really really struggling.
I want to stop. I can't live like this.
I can't wait until the new year. I'm going to have to try and just stop by myself.

My DD was sobbing to DH in the car yesterday out of worry and anger about me. Absolutely broke me when he told me. She also told him that my other DD thinks I hate her.
I thought I was hiding it well but obviously not. I'm so upset at the hurt I'm causing.
I'm worried I'll have messed them up for life. The guilt is horrendous.

I'll just have to battle it out by myself and stay strong. There is a support worker coming out next week. I'm hoping to make it to then 🤞

@smegley, that sounds really hard - sorry you and your family are going though it. Can you remind me how old your children are? Are they of an age where you could have a family meeting, maybe with the support worker to discuss together where you are, next steps etc?

I hope everyone else is doing okay and looking forward to the weekend.

I've got to pop into a local hotel to get a voucher as a Christmas present. It's a very popular venue for parties and they have a lovely garden so we frequent it often for drinks/kids play in the summer. I don't think that I have ever been in and not had a drink.

Pre this AF spell, I'd have decided to have a glass of red in front of the fire even if it was only to collect something so am expecting the wine witch to call but also looking forward to the feeling of strength that I'll have as I walk out with no regrets (plus a glass of wine is £10 which I really can't afford this month anyway).

Morning everyone, thanks @smegley for your searing honesty. I am still struggling, drank twice this week, both times as a result of working very late, feeling I deserved it on the way home. I was shopping last night and had a bottle of wine in the basket but left it back at the till, I couldn't stomach another hangover. I have to go away for the night and hope to have a clear head and a proper sleep, not the sweaty, frantic, tangled sleep wine induces. I hate the dreams and flashes and the torture of trying to figure out what was real and what was a dream/flash.
Th guilt, craving, guilt cycle is torture!

@smegley, it's great you want to try to stop alone, but is it safe to do so if HCPs have recommended supervision and medication?

I think it's great you want to do it and fantastic that health professionals want to pull out the stops to help you.

With love.

@Bluegirl19 I'm sorry you drank twice this week but on the brighter side that also means there were five days when you didn't drink.

I had a glass of red last night. I wish I hadn't but I enjoyed it. I had it instead of dinner. There was a bottle open. It took a lot of will power not to pour another one.

If there wasn't wine in the house, I probably wouldn't have an occasional glass and might be teetotal.

That was my issue-exdh also drank red wine which made it so much harder. Current do drinks whisky which I absolutely loathe so no issues at all!! I am very much enjoying quality sleep and not waking up with aching stomach, liver and kidneys and a vaguely sore mouth from booze.

Sorry this weekend seems so hard, with ill health and family struggles, plus it all gets worse with this idea of the perfect family Christmas doesn’t it? We were in the brink of not doing a tree this year either and then realised we have to push on a little bit and good feelings will come. And that’s a good motto for everything perhaps.

@smegley i was about to ask after you and sorry that it seems to all be reaching a bit of a crisis point but try to see it as a motivation and maybe looking at a proper moderating plan to get you down slowly? Even if you say, start later, or introduce soft drinks in between or something. It’s tricky because I know, me included, there would be no off button once I got going.

well done @Haggisfish3 for your sober Friday night! I hope the cake was fab.

@SpringNotSprung i am not surprised you had a glass after yesterday’s news but really well done on staying with one.

@BoilingHotand50something I too am thinking about Christmas and what to have if I do drink. At the moment I am just deferring the whole thing because I do not want to spend the whole of December stressing about it. Worked so far I think.

Sorry to hear people are struggling. @smegley sorry to hear things seem to have reached such a low point. I would echo others to say please be cautious in approach but equally, starting to moderate in some way would seem sensible.

We haven’t had any wine with alcohol in it in the house since this started. If we did, it would be so much harder for me. DH had a glass in front of me last night as we were out and I was ok. I had a mocktail instead. He didn’t even enjoy it in the end!

Hope today is a better day for all.

Had a friend round for dinner tonight and didn’t even think of wine until end. And now da has been poorly and I’m sober and I can deal with it. I’m feeling really good. Hope everyone else is doing ok. It has taken me a thousand day ones to get to this point.

Morning all. Sorry I’ve been absent, work has been off the scale busy and DD has been ill again.

I did my first (ever?) sober Christmas party. I drove so I was popular at the end of the evening 🤣 It was a strange experience. I felt very conflicted. On the one hand it was quite empowering being able to sit there with a 0% cider. I was almost smug at one point. But on the other hand it felt a bit…. Boring. Can I say that? I just didn’t really “enjoy” it. I felt a bit awkward most of the time and wished I could go home.

@SpringNotSprung so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Hopefully now you know what you’re dealing with you will be able to get a plan together. Good to hear you have a strong support network.

@smegley I was also wondering how old your DD is. I kid myself that my DC have no idea but being able to get up during the night with them when they are unwell has been so good these last few months. One time this week I was washing DD after she was ill and she said ‘thank you mummy’ and it broke my heart a little.

Sending everyone strength and best wishes.

Hi
My DDs are 16 and 13
DS 11 and 7

I think they notice a lot more than I have realised:(

Children will notice. It’s one of the main reasons I want to stop. I don’t want mine subconsciously thinking it’s usual to drink every night.

Same here. Giving it up for the children. I come from a long line of publicans! Like as far back as the family tree goes. All the ancestors owned pubs and were nick named guzzy! It's absolutely normalised in my family to drink and you're wierd if you don't.

I don’t mind my DC seeing me with a glass of wine because they’ve never seen me drunk, it’s the frequency that’s the issue for me. I don’t want them seeing me drinking most evenings. I don’t want them to think that’s normal.

@smegley I see what you mean. Mine are still so little they see me have that first glass and then they are in bed. It’s not too late to make a change. Wouldn’t it be lovely for it to be a distant memory for them? You can still do that.